Dog as a Flower Girl?

SmithMcFarlane

Ok, so my FI and I want our female dog to be our flower girl for a variety of reasons, one being that there are no young females in the flower girl age range, and another being that she is a huge part of our lives and we want her to be a part of it as our flower girl.  Do you think that we are wierd?  I have had so many people tell us we are "stupid for doing this.  Or if you don't have anyone to be the flower girl, don't have one.  Dogs aren't suppose to be in weddings."

I don't understand why it matters if our dog is in our wedding as a flower girl or not.  I know I can't be the only one who has this idea.  I don't see the issue here.  Why should it matter who we have as part of our wedding party?  Any suggestions on what to say to these people?

suz62984

I don't think it matters if people think it's weird or not. Our dogs would be in ours but our venue wouldn't allow it. My dogs are my kids. That even may be the first time i've said my dogs instead of my kids actually. If it makes you happy and she will behave than go for it.

Maybe instead of flower girl she can just sit beside one of the BMs or GMs. Please don't dress her up though.

stina93446

You don't need a flower girl. You could have the dog walk down the aisle, but the whole point of a fg is to be cute and throw petals. Since she can't throw petals but she can be cute, just have her walk down. I am not a fan of animals in weddings, but if it's what you want, go for it. I wouldn't call her a  fg  though. THAT, I find weird. I think it's more usual to hear about dogs having fake rings attached to their collars, but again, the children "jobs" are just filler, not important.

mbcdefg

You don't NEED someone in the flower girl role. If there isn't a child who is very close to you, then don't worry about it. I had no child attendants and it was very easy and calm without any kids involved in the wedding party, and I'm no less married than anyone who had 50 flower girls.

You need to really think it through if you want to involve your dog in the ceremony. It's so much more than, "But she'll look so CUTE!"

* Who's going to take care of getting her ready and then getting her down the aisle? You and FI will be too busy to give her the attention she needs all day, and it's unfair to ask a loved one to take time out of their day (time when they should be relaxing and enjoying your ceremony) to take care of an animal that is YOUR responsibility.

* What happens if the dog barks throughout the ceremony, or takes a big dump right in the middle of your vows?

* Has your dog ever been around large crowds of people before? Even the most well-behaved dogs can get very nervous when they're around big groups, especially with a ton of people reaching down to pet or poke her. She might bite out of fear or confusion, and then you have an injury on your hands and maybe legal trouble.

* What happens to the dog once the ceremony is over? It would be unfair to leave her in a crate all day, and unsafe to let her run around. Is someone going to bring her back home or to a safe kennel for the day?

* If your ceremony is outdoors, what happens if she gets loose? I'd hate for her to get hit by a car or get lost. If your ceremony is indoors, does the venue even allow dogs on the premesis? (If it's a church, most churches will not let you bring in a dog that's not a Seeing Eye dog.)

I don't think it's an across-the-board "This Sucks" situation, but I think that in the vast majority of situations, it's not a good idea. It's not fair to have the dog in an unfamiliar and uncomfortable environment if you don't have a good plan set up to care for her. It's also unfair to have a guest take the responsibility of looking after your pet.

What is your plan for taking care of the dog for the day?

tidetravel

Here's why it's a bad idea:

1)  You and FI are not going to be there taking care of her that day.  Which means that someone will be tasked with the job - taking care of them through the WHOLE wedding, getting them food/water, cleaning up their poop, etc.  Making people work at your wedding is not cool.

2)  Even the best dogs get overstimulated.  That many people, in a strange environment can really stress out your dog. 

3)  There may be guests of yours that are allergic and/or afraid of dogs, and you need to keep their comfort in mind, even though it's YOUR DAY !!111!!!!  <---  sarcasm

If you want to include your dog in your wedding, a better way to do so is in your decor.  Many people make table numbers with pictures of their animals. 

janedoe1113a

I agree with the ladies who said it's a bad idea for all the reasons they gave.

SmithMcFarlane

mbcdefg, we have actually already gone over all of that stuff, and more:

so here is the deal with my dog.  I just want to add that I was a vet tech for almost 9 years, and my dog is a canine citizen cert. so she can go into nursing homes ect.  Also the thought isn't "aw she's so cute" its my dog is a huge part of our family, much like a child.

Who is going to take care of her:  My friend Kathy actually wanted to, she thought it was such a great idea that we wanted out dog in our wedding that she offered to do it.  She takes care of my dog whenever I am out of town, so they get along really well.  Also, she is very well trained under voice command, and we have 4 little boys in our wedding who will be walking her down.

IF she barks, I would be shocked, but if she does, what would be the difference between her barking and a child crying?  As for pooping...oh well, she is a dog, it happens.  She is so small it wouldn't be that people probably wouldn't notice.

As for crowds, yeah, she has been used for training purposes, and as I said above in nursing homes.  She loves people, and has never bit at anyone.

After the ceremony, my friend Kathy said she would take her to her house as she would be watching her for the night anyway.  And again, she said she WANTS to do it.

As for her getting loose, again, she is almost never on leash as she listens to voice command.  She goes to dog fairs, dog parks, stores, she has been into pretty much every place that dogs are allowed.  And she even LOVES going to the vet.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dog-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1e8df461-bd7a-427b-8444-ca512c3925e4Post:7bdf8434-d79e-4568-869b-cfe8ea2b69e0">Dog as a Flower Girl?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, so my FI and I want our female dog to be our flower girl for a variety of reasons, one being that there are no young females in the flower girl age range, and another being that she is a huge part of our lives and we want her to be a part of it as our flower girl.  Do you think that we are wierd?  I have had so many people tell us we are "stupid for doing this.  Or if you don't have anyone to be the flower girl, don't have one.  Dogs aren't suppose to be in weddings." I don't understand why it matters if our dog is in our wedding as a flower girl or not.  I know I can't be the only one who has this idea.  I don't see the issue here.  Why should it matter who we have as part of our wedding party?  Any suggestions on what to say to these people?
Posted by SmithMcFarlane[/QUOTE]

Oh, and JIC

stina93446

It doesn't sound like you actually want an answer based on your reply. You're just looking for validation on something that you've already decided...

SmithMcFarlane

I would also like to add, that our guest list is VERY small, and its only family and close friends, who have all met and been around my dog for years and years.  We are having the rest of the guest list come to dinner and the dance.

blackfire5th

Ditto mbc, tide, and navy.

Also, I think the "dog in the weddings" has been overdone.  You've lost the "oh how sweet, they have their dog in the WP", because it's been done hundreds of times before.  Another way to say it is I think a lot of people do it to be unique and to personalize their wedding, but it isn't unique at all because so many have done it before you.

tidetravel

You wanted to know why people thought it was a bad idea.  We told you.  Your special circumstances don't change the fact that it's a bad idea.  But, you've obviously already decided to do it, so go ahead.  Don't be surprised if your guests talk about you behind your back, though.

tidetravel

As a guest, I would be offended to find out that I wasn't invited to the ceremony, but your dog was.

SmithMcFarlane

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dog-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1e8df461-bd7a-427b-8444-ca512c3925e4Post:7bdf8434-d79e-4568-869b-cfe8ea2b69e0">Dog as a Flower Girl?</a>:
[QUOTE]  Why should it matter who we have as part of our wedding party?  Any suggestions on what to say to these people?
Posted by SmithMcFarlane[/QUOTE]

as you can see from my quote above, I asked why it should matter who is part of our wedding party and if you have suggestions on what to say to these people.

mbcdefg

I don't think it's an awful idea, if you are sure that everything will be taken care of.

Off-leash dogs make me nervous, though, even the most well-trained ones. I accidentally hit a dog with my car once because the owners felt that it didn't need to be on a leash.

stina93446

Don't say she's a fg. THAT is probably what people who you are telling are finding weird.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dog-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1e8df461-bd7a-427b-8444-ca512c3925e4Post:44ac1bd7-df56-47a0-be15-fc90271b105d">Re: Dog as a Flower Girl?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Dog as a Flower Girl? : as you can see from my quote above, I asked why it should matter who is part of our wedding party and if you have suggestions on what to say to these people.
Posted by SmithMcFarlane[/QUOTE]

Weeeeellll, since everyone here seems to be one of "those people," I doubt you're going to get the answers you were hoping for.

trix1223

I think it's a silly idea.  I love dogs.  I've had dogs as pets.  My children have 4 dogs among them, and we enjoy when the dogs come to visit us.

Back when I was married, my parents' dog had to have emergency surgery the day before the wedding.  Everyone was on pins and needles until we heard that the dog was fine.  Only then could we move on to enjoy wedding "stuff", because the dog was a beloved pet.

The operative word in the above is PET.  I get that you love your dog.  Take some photos of you in your wedding finery with the animal.  They'll be adorable.  But a wedding ceremony is NOT an appropriate place for a pet, IMO.

And I did hear a quote that is so very true:  Once you have a child, your dog is just a dog.  I'm not saying to love and cherish your dog.  I'd be disappointed if you didn't.  Just don't confuse it with a person.....

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dog-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1e8df461-bd7a-427b-8444-ca512c3925e4Post:2d1e0575-d530-4dd8-b272-35a25e24a954">Re: Dog as a Flower Girl?</a>:
[QUOTE] And I did hear a quote that is so very true:  <strong>Once you have a child, your dog is just a dog</strong>.  I'm not saying to love and cherish your dog.  I'd be disappointed if you didn't.  Just don't confuse it with a person.....
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

OMG Trix.  This is so true. 

SmithMcFarlane

then be offended tidetravel, you can go ahead and be judgemental on me about how we are inviting people, I don't want everyone and their brother at my ceremony, its a private personal thing to my FI and I.  I know many people who only have parents come to the ceremony and everyone else to the dinner.  Everything in life doesn't have to be by the book. 

mbcdefg

I do agree with those above who said that referring to the dog as a "flower girl" is weird.

Walking her down the aisle and posing with her for a photo or two? Fine.

Making a big deal out of it, putting her in an outfit (although a flower on the collar seems O.K. to me), giving her a title? Strange.

blackfire5th

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dog-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1e8df461-bd7a-427b-8444-ca512c3925e4Post:6bc3c192-0da4-4b2f-bb42-8ccf5993a6a0">Re: Dog as a Flower Girl?</a>:
[QUOTE]mbcdefg, we have actually already gone over all of that stuff, and more: so here is the deal with my dog.  I just want to add that I was a vet tech for almost 9 years, and my dog is a canine citizen cert. so she can go into nursing homes ect.  Also the thought isn't "aw she's so cute" its my dog is a huge part of our family, much like a child. Who is going to take care of her:  My friend Kathy actually wanted to, she thought it was such a great idea that we wanted out dog in our wedding that she offered to do it.  She takes care of my dog whenever I am out of town, so they get along really well.  Also, she is very well trained under voice command, and we have 4 little boys in our wedding who will be walking her down. IF she barks, I would be shocked, but if she does, what would be the difference between her barking and a child crying?  As for pooping...oh well, she is a dog, it happens.  She is so small it wouldn't be that people probably wouldn't notice. As for crowds, yeah, she has been used for training purposes, and as I said above in nursing homes.  She loves people, and has never bit at anyone. After the ceremony, my friend Kathy said she would take her to her house as she would be watching her for the night anyway.  And again, she said she WANTS to do it. As for her getting loose, again, she is almost never on leash as she listens to voice command.  She goes to dog fairs, dog parks, stores, she has been into pretty much every place that dogs are allowed.  And she even LOVES going to the vet.
Posted by SmithMcFarlane[/QUOTE]

<div>I was with you until you refused to admit that there may be a problem.  You won't admit that she could freak out because it's a new environment.  You need to have a plan for that.  Are you okay with your friend missing the ceremony because she has to remove your dog from the situation?  Even if she says she is okay with that, are you okay putting that burden on her?</div><div>
</div><div>I am also giving you a major side eye for the "she is almost never on a leash."  She may have never bitten someone, but it only takes once.  Leash laws are there for a reason, I'm too mad about this point to talk more about it.</div><div>
</div><div>And bull on no one noticing if she poops.  Dog poop smells.</div><div>
</div><div>This is a matter of animal behavior, so don't try to play this off as "I'm a vet tech."  These are two different disciplines.</div><div>
</div><div>This is probably why people you talk to think it is a stupid idea.  You are passing off some of the problems that could come up rather than addressing them head on.</div>

janedoe1113a

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dog-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1e8df461-bd7a-427b-8444-ca512c3925e4Post:e60a40eb-6dcf-4721-b78c-3dd372ba5a00">Re: Dog as a Flower Girl?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dog as a Flower Girl? : I was with you until you refused to admit that there may be a problem.  You won't admit that she could freak out because it's a new environment.  You need to have a plan for that.  Are you okay with your friend missing the ceremony because she has to remove your dog from the situation?  Even if she says she is okay with that, are you okay putting that burden on her? I am also giving you a major side eye for the "she is almost never on a leash."  She may have never bitten someone, but it only takes once.  Leash laws are there for a reason, I'm too mad about this point to talk more about it. And bull on no one noticing if she poops.  Dog poop smells. This is a matter of animal behavior, so don't try to play this off as "I'm a vet tech."  These are two different disciplines. This is probably why people you talk to think it is a stupid idea.  You are passing off some of the problems that could come up rather than addressing them head on.
Posted by blackfire5th[/QUOTE]

I agree with everything she just said.

Not having your dog on a lease is very irresponsible.  I don't care how well behaved the dog is.

SmithMcFarlane

where do you live that the law is written all dogs must be on leash?  I live right across the street from the police station, and the law states that your dog has to be under control, VOICE COMMAND IS UNDER CONTROL!!!!!!!  They wave at us all the time when we are out in our yard.  And I know this because I license my dog EVERY YEAR!

 I never said that there won't be a problem, and yes she will be on leash the day of our ceremony.  However I have gone above and beyond things to make my dog a citizen, she is used to this type of stuff.  She is put in these situations all the time.

Plus, not a new environment, she has been to this park many many many times, almost daily.

stina93446

When they say "new environment" they mean more people and/or different location.

And yes, the dog should be on a leash. It doesn't matter if she's harmless. It's safer and makes your guests feel more comfortable. 

SmithMcFarlane

Again, I never said that my dog would be off leash the day of our ceremony.  And she knows this park very well and the people who are going to be around her.  We have already decided no flexi-leads, only the short leash, I'm offended at how many of you seem to think that I have a bad dog or I'm a bad pet owner.  I NEVER leave my dog alone outside, I'm always right there with her. 

stina93446

No one said you're a bad pet owner or that you have a bad dog. Everyone is merely pointing out all if any problems that should go wrong and why you may need to rethink your idea.

blackfire5th

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dog-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1e8df461-bd7a-427b-8444-ca512c3925e4Post:bb1a9a82-f783-4716-9034-a6d151cb18ce">Re: Dog as a Flower Girl?</a>:
[QUOTE]where do you live that the law is written all dogs must be on leash?  I live right across the street from the police station, and the<strong> law states that your dog has to be under control, VOICE COMMAND IS UNDER CONTROL!!!!!!! </strong> They wave at us all the time when we are out in our yard.  And I know this because I license my dog EVERY YEAR!  I never said that there won't be a problem, and yes she will be on leash the day of our ceremony.  However I have gone above and beyond things to make my dog a citizen, she is used to this type of stuff.  She is put in these situations all the time. Plus, not a new environment, she has been to this park many many many times, almost daily.
Posted by SmithMcFarlane[/QUOTE]

<div><span style="color:#000000;font-family:'Times New Roman';line-height:normal;font-size:medium;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;"><div><span style="color:#000000;font-family:arial;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span">Huh, look what I found (sorry if it's not exactly where you live, theknot just says Milwaukee):<div>
</div><div><span style="color:#000000;font-family:arial;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><p><a style="font-family:arial;font-size:11px;font-style:normal;line-height:normal;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-transform:none;text-decoration:underline;color:#304389;" name="s91"></a>Sec. 6-91. Animals not to run at large.</p><p>All dogs, cats and other animals are prohibited from running at large. An animal is considered to be running at large if it is off the premises of its owner <strong>and not under the leash control of its owner or some other persons</strong>.</p><p>(Code 1968, § 21.06(1))</p><p>Taken from <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://www.animallaw.info/statutes/stuswiodmilton_milwaukee.htm#s91">http://www.animallaw.info/statutes/stuswiodmilton_milwaukee.htm#s91</a></p><div>
</div></span></div></span></div></div></span></div>

SmithMcFarlane

too bad I don't live in Milwaukee...

tidetravel

Blackfire, I was just about to post that.

OP - the reason the police don't say anything to you if the dog is off leash on your property, is because the dog is not considered "at large."  If you were to take her anywhere else, though, she would need to be on a leash.

tidetravel

It doesn't really matter where you are, OP.  Pretty much all counties have leash laws these days, and they're all the same.  Voice command does not fall within the scope of a leash law.