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too many kiddos!

so i definitly want to have all my neices and nephews in my wedding. the problem is, there are too many! i also have a kid sister too

Lil is going to be almost 16, im thinking Jr BM
Rina is going to be 11, gift/guestbook attendant?
Len will be 11, my sister, likely Jr BM
Deltay will be 11, maybe pushing a stroller with Ky?
Carter will be 10, has adhd, not sure what he will be able to do
Chass will be 9, Traincarrier?
AnnaLisa will be 8 Traincarrier?
Shua will be 6 almost 7, RB?
Sophie will be 5, FG
PJ will be 4.5, definitly a ringbearer
Bri will be 4.5 FG
Rora will be 3.5 FG
Ky will be 13 months, job: cute baby!

i am thinking instead of Flowergirls, bubble blowing girls, since there will be 3, they can walk on either side and in the center aisle blowing bubbles, seems silly to have flowers on the 2 sides i wont be walking down.

id like carter to be involved somehow, he can push the stroller, but then what can Deltay do? him and Rina are close so they can work together on gifts (taping loose cards to packages/putting lone cards in a box), putting them on the table and reminding ppl to sign a guestbook?

im also up for suggestion on what the trainccarrier girls can do instead.


anyone else having lots of kiddos in the wedding?
any ideas of what the little fellas can do? maybe Lil or Rina can push Ky's stroller and the boys, carter and deltay can escort my mom and MIL? would that be cute?

im open to constructive critism.

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Re: too many kiddos!

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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_many-kiddos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:22c35d27-ae64-4402-b5a2-3ce0b78034c2Post:438adf47-feb5-4381-9218-8a3c3d347330">too many kiddos!</a>:
    [QUOTE]so i definitly want to have all my neices and nephews in my wedding. the problem is, there are too many! i also have a kid sister too

    Lil is going to be almost 16, im thinking Jr BM
    Rina is going to be 11, gift/guestbook attendant?
    Len will be 11, my sister, likely Jr BM
    Deltay will be 11, maybe pushing a stroller with Ky?
    Carter will be 10, has adhd, not sure what he will be able to do
    Chass will be 9, Traincarrier?
    AnnaLisa will be 8 Traincarrier?
    Shua will be 6 almost 7, RB?
    Sophie will be 5, FG
    PJ will be 4.5, definitly a ringbearer
    Bri will be 4.5 FG
    Rora will be 3.5 FG
     Ky will be 13 months, job: cute baby!

    i am thinking instead of Flowergirls, bubble blowing girls, since there will be 3, they can walk on either side and in the center aisle blowing bubbles, seems silly to have flowers on the 2 sides i wont be walking down. id like carter to be involved somehow, he can push the stroller, but then what can Deltay do? him and Rina are close so they can work together on gifts (taping loose cards to packages/putting lone cards in a box), putting them on the table and reminding ppl to sign a guestbook? im also up for suggestion on what the trainccarrier girls can do instead. anyone else having lots of kiddos in the wedding? any ideas of what the little fellas can do? maybe Lil or Rina can push Ky's stroller and the boys, carter and deltay can escort my mom and MIL? would that be cute?

    im open to constructive critism.
    Posted by HisCB[/QUOTE]
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    Honestly, I'm thinking that's just way too many kids to organize, dress, and hopefully get down the aisle without mass chaos on your wedding day.

    I'd have your sisters as bridesmaids and call it day. 

    Kids are cute - yes - so take some special pictures with all of them that day instead.

    Unless you've already asked all of them...
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    I think that's too much - you don't need to give a job to every single kid!

    But anyway... are you sure you can have "bubble blowing girls"?  The church may not allow this.  My venue does not allow bubbles at all, and I know a lot of places don't allow them indoors.
    Married 10/2/10
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    That would stress me out to watch as a guest, let alone be a participant.
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited February 2010
    Never work with children or animals, they're too unpredictable.  Honestly, the kids probably won't know enough of what's going on (especially the ones under 7) to feel like they're being excluded, and I think that's way too many to try to wrangle.  Plus, counting on a kid to do anything that might actually be necessary is just asking for trouble.

    I would have only your sister as a bridesmaid, and skip all the ring bearer/flower girl stuff.  If anyone asks, just say you have far too many to choose from and it wouldn't be fair.  Maybe you could arrange to do a special pre-wedding pizza party or something with all the nieces and nephews.  Somehow I think they'd be a lot happier with that than having to be on the spot and on their best behavior in an official wedding role.
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    This was overwhelming just to read, much less to coordinate as the bride or watch as a guest. I think it's great that you're so close to all these kids, but struggling to find jobs for them just so they can walk down the aisle is, in my mind, not the way to do it. I'd make sure to take a picture with all of them, but in terms of jobs I'd probably just have your sister involved however you want and call it a day rather than picking and choosing one or two more to be FG/RB.
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    Whoa.  That's A LOT of kids.

    First, I'd make sure that bubbles can be blown where you're having the ceremony.

    Beyond that, I'd consider having multiple flower girls or ring bearers rather than starting to assign different tasks to the children of that appropriate age.

    As for the 11 yo.  If she's the only female of her age, PLEASE don't ask her to watch the guest  book.  Just make her a BM.

    FWIW, I don't think you should have "jr" BM.  Just choose appropriate attire for the younger attendants.

    Beyond that, I don't think you have to have ALL the kids in a wedding.  DH's family is HUGE.  We attended a wedding last year with multiple flower girls and ring bearers but some of the nieces and nephews were seated and that was just ducky.
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    I agree with those who said it's going to be chaos (and very expensive) giving all of those kids a role. I also think it's sort of silly to just make up jobs so people can be included (although I totally get that you want to include all of them). And I think it's just going to look like a circus going down the aisle. I also don't think it's right to ask people to work on your gifts and guestbook, because that's just putting them to work instead of honoring them.

    When it comes to kids, it's the most fair to take an "all or none" approach. And in this case, I honestly think that you don't give ANY of them a role. I know your heart is in the right place, but 13 kids is just waaaaayyyy too many.

    My vote: take a few nice professional photos with them and call it a day.

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    Do yourself a favor and don't ask all of them.  I'm the oldest of 17 cousins and I'm very close with all of them.  But it just wasn't realistic to ask all of them to be in the wedding.  They ranged in age from 25-9.  We asked a few: the two youngest girls were FGs (one is also my goddaughter), the two youngest boys were RBs (they worship the ground DH walks on), and 2 14 year olds were our ushers.  That was it.  We have a big family and by virtue of that everyone knows that you can't be a part of everything.  The other kids were just happy to dress up and party at the reception--I don't think they left the dance floor all night.  We posed for crazy photos, taught them dances, and just had fun.  

    I think what you want is memories of them being a part of your wedding.  I assure you that by spending time with them as guests you will have those memories and not have the craziness of trying to work them all into the ceremony.
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    The first word that came to my mind was circus.  It's going to be a circus before the processional, during the processional, during the ceremony, during the recessional, and during the post-ceremony photos.

    Honestly, you're going to have so much else on your mind, that the last thing you need to be worrying about THIRTEEN little kids behaving and doing what they're supposed to.

    There is so much potential for disaster and/or chaos all over this plan.  Little kids don't always do what you want them to do, particularly when faced with an audience of people looking at them.

    I'd simply opt out of having any of them.  This is a perfect opportunity to say "I love all the kids so much that I couldn't begin to choose."

    Having 2 train carriers.....one kid pushing another in a stroller......kids blowing bubbles (which the church I work in would NEVER allow)...what exactly does that add to the sanctity of your ceremony? Answer:  nothing.

    Sometimes brides and grooms get so caught up in trying to include everyone that they forget that attending the wedding as a guest is being included.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    Make your sister a BM.  If you want the 16 year old, she can be a BM too.  For the rest of them, I agree, just don't have child attendants, but make sure you do some special pictures with all of them.

    It's just too many to include.  If you find yourself giving out crap jobs like "gift attendant" or "stroller pusher" it's just too much. 
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    what trix said.
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    megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    edited February 2010
    I'm going to be honest: don't do this. You're asking for a huge headache. This is too many kids.

    I think you sound like you have good intentions because you're clearly trying to include everybody. A lot of girls run into this problem in some way or another, whether it's asking every girl in their sorority to be a BM, or having every child under the age of 6 they've ever met as an RB or FG. It's noble, but by no means logical, and certainly never worth it in the end.

    The truth is, the younger ones (Especially the kid in the stoller) will barely remember being at your wedding, let alone if they had a "special" part in it. The older ones are old enough to understand that you can't include everybody (Especially in your case where they can clearly see that there's an insane number of children involved here).

    Your sister is the only one on this list that I think you actually need to include. And just make her a BM. Everybody else can be a guest. If there are any that you or your FI feel exceptionally close to (Any "god children" in there?), you can make one or 2 a RB/FG. But otherwise, if you already feel the need to "invent" jobs ("Taping loose cards to boxes?"-you really think an 11-year-old is going to feel "honored" by being asked to do this inane task?), then you already know you're "pushing it", and should just accept now that "guest" is honor enough.

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    I would also like to ditto Aerin's "kids are completely unpredictable" wisdom.

    We had one RB. From the very begining, we didn't want any children in the WP, but MIL and SIL pretty much guilted DH into asking his nephew.

    Anyway, the day of the wedding, RB enters with the GMs, we get the mother's seated, the BMs are ready to begin the processional, when the RB (Who was 8, not like 4), screams as loudly as humanly possible "I HAVE TO PEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then bolted for the door. We obviously waited for him before we continued, but I'm just saying, that was one kid. Who was "old enough" to not do something like that.

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    OP, some of these jobs are really silly/stupid. Do you really NEED train carriers? There's too many kids and the last thing you need 20 minutes to 2 minutes before the walk down the aisle is telling the 7 year old to stop whispering and pay attention....16 is old enough to be a regular bms. (I hate that term, jr. bm) I would say have your 3 fgs, 2 rgs, and your 2 bms. Everyone else should just sit tight at the ceremony with parents or relatives. 
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    I had 7 kids.  Ages 15,10,10,10,9,9 and 6

    They were all BM or GM (no juniors or anything).  I refused to get them a bunch of jobs.  Just like the 'older' BM and GM, they just wore the correct attire and walked down (and back up) an aisle.

    I would do it again.  It was really easy and drama free.  I think it was because I didn't give them any jobs other than walking down the aisle (most kids can do that without issue (well the 3 year old maybe not, but the older ones it should be a piece of cake).






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    thanks for all the imput.
    no i havent officially asked anyone to be in my WP yet

    as for the bubbles, we're having our ceremony in our front yard, so that doesnt matter.

    i can see that so many kids can be troublesome, but i cant imagine our wedding without kids. and its impossible to chose to leave anyone out entirely.

    personnaly, i remember feeling honored to be a guestbook attendant as a kid, as well as train carrier and jr bridesmaid.

    i do agree that simply being a guest is honor enough tho.

    ok so heres my next idea:

    Len 11, jr BM
    Lil  almost 16, Jr BM

    Rina and Deltay 11 can walk together to find their seats

    Carter  10, and Chass 9, can walk together to find their seats

    AnnaLisa, 8 Traincarrier
    Shua, almost 7 and PJ, 4.5 can be RBs

    Sophie 5, FG
    Bri  4.5 FG
    Rora 3.5 FG

    Ky wont know the difference and has most potential for drama

    i dont want to have Len be a BM and Lilly be a Jr BM because of ages. unless this is a silly thought, i dont know.

    Rina is old enough and mature enough to understand she is special without having a  role. i doubt carter and deltay will care.

    this still leaves 6 little kids with roles, but i think that itll be fine.

    thanks for all the imput, anyone out there have lots of kids in their WP?

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    I had 4 in the WP itself and 2 as ushers.  The other 10 weren't upset that they weren't included.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2010
    I might be in the minority in this, but why not just have the other 4 be BM (or Jr)?

      I get not having everyone in the wedding.  I think it's odd to pick the old ones and they really young ones and leaving the 4 in the middle out (who are really only a year or so older or younger than the other ones).     I could not do that to my nieces and nephews. 

    Personally  would only have your sister and call it a day.  If you want other in the wedding, just have them all.  Or only have 3 or 4, not excluding only 4.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    This is why my godchild is the RB and my friend's daughter is the FG. I have 2 neices and 4 nephews, and as good as they are, that would be a circus. By choosing none of them, no one was offended.
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    I have a 13 year old bridesmaid, a 10 year old bridesmaid, 2-11year old guest book attendants, 2-3 year old flower girls and a 19 month old ringbearer.
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    Seems like a lot of response here is to not include them.  I disagree.  Obviously it's very important to you so I say go for it.  I'm doing the same thing... not quite as many as you but all my nieces and nephews (five girls ages 8, 8, 7, 5 and 4 and two boys ages 2 yrs and 4 months!).  To me it's way more important to have them involved and give them roles rather than have the ceremony go perfectly.  But maybe that's just me.  If one throws a fit and doesn't make it... oh well.

    We're calling our girls maidens and having them walk up in pairs or individually.  The boys are too little to come up on their own so I'm having their mom (my personal attendant) walk them up as part of the precessional and then just be seated in front. 
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