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Quick BM question...

ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
2500 Comments Combo Breaker
in Wedding Party
My friend and BM just broke up with her long term (3 year) boyfriend last week. So clearly... she is no longer going to be bringing him to the wedding next week.

 I dont' want to bring the wedding up AT ALL until next friday (rehearsal) because I really want to just focus on her, friendships, etc. But I do want to let her know that she has the option to bring a friend to still have fun with (she has a lot of guy friends) but I don't know how to approach the subject.

Do I just not say anything, keep the extra person at the table in case she brings it up, or do I ask her about it since the final count was due on Sunday, and the latest we can change without paying is Friday. I don't mind eating the cost because of the situation, I just want to do the right thing.
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Re: Quick BM question...

  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I would say nothing and plan on eating the cost.  There's no way to ask her about it without it sounding cold, even though you are being thoughtful and the cost is a legitimate concern.  Also check with your venue/caterer--many will provide an extra 5-10% as a rule in case of last minute add-ons ("Oh, Uncle Jerry is in town so we decided to bring him, hope you don't mind!").  See if they do that.  If so, you can probably remove him from the count and still have a place in case she does want to bring someone.  If not, since you budgeted for him anyway, I would plan to just eat the cost (no pun intended).
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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    Ditto Brooke. If the cost of this dinner were some kind of make or break factor in relation to other things, I might understand having to bring it up, but if that dinner going to waste won't ruin your night, I'd just leave it.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I agree with the other ladies, and want to commend OP on being so very thoughtful and worrying about your friend! 
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    She actually text me saying "about your wedding... I'm working on a date".

    I just let her know she had all the time in the world to bring a date/friend/whatever/come just her... whatever will help her have a good time. If she doens't bring someone I'll just tell the people to take 1 chair away so it's not empty next to her. They said that I won't get money back, but they could make the tables correct, which was my biggest concern, having an empty chair next to her.
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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    Yay, crisis averted!
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