When to ask party for destination wedding?

dancinxqueen324

Hi!  I just got engaged, and we are planning for a wedding around Oct. 6.  Right now we are living in New York, but will be getting married in California, where we're both from.  We won't be able to book a venue until our visit next in December, but knowing three of my bridesmaids will be coming from New York also, when would be a good time to ask them?  I want them to know asap so they can either start saving money for the trip or let me know they can't afford a "destination" wedding, but we can't officially set the date until we book the venue, which then leaves about 9 months for them to plan.  Is it best to ask now and give them a general idea of the date?  Thank you!

G2SoccerTaz

Let them know now, and then when you decide on the date let them know that ASAP. If they will be traveling, try to cut down the cost on things in other areas. For example, don't expect them to spend $150 on dresses. Just be considerate of their costs.

dancinxqueen324

Thanks ladies!

SJM7538

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-ask-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:252af1ca-212a-42f1-8a57-fb98cfee1920Post:f11b2b22-1a41-4162-8d82-ec9259e537d3">When to ask party for destination wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi!  I just got engaged, and we are planning for a wedding around Oct. 6.  Right now we are living in New York, but will be getting married in California, where we're both from.  We won't be able to book a venue until our visit next in December, but knowing three of my bridesmaids will be coming from New York also, when would be a good time to ask them?  I want them to know asap so they can either start saving money for the trip or let me know they can't afford a "destination" wedding, but we can't officially set the date until we book the venue, which then leaves about 9 months for them to plan.  Is it best to ask now and give them a general idea of the date?  Thank you!
Posted by dancinxqueen324[/QUOTE]


I know they say you're not supposed to ask until 6-9 months out but I think destination weddings are the exception. If it was me I'd want as much notice as possible

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-ask-party-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:252af1ca-212a-42f1-8a57-fb98cfee1920Post:7e71de04-7019-4148-b51a-4dc15b42126e">Re: When to ask party for destination wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to When to ask party for destination wedding? : I know they say you're not supposed to ask until 6-9 months out but I think destination weddings are the exception. If it was me I'd want as much notice as possible
Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]
I completely agree.

I know my friends and even my dad plan their vacation days a year in advance, due not only to their own preferences but also to their work restrictions. They request their vacation days and hope they're okayed y their bosses. They also have to hope that people with more seniority don't request those same vacation days.

KateH2013

I am having a DW and asked a few of my BMs immediately after we decided to go away. My two best friends got an 18 month notice, the others just about a year. Congrats on your engagement :-)

MyNameIsNot

I would definately tell them about your plans right away.  If you're far enough in planning to be 100% certain that you're going to ask them, it's fine to go ahead now with 11 months to go.  If some things are still up in the air, asking after you book the venue in December is fine too.

If these people are close enough to be in the WP, they are probably going to consider options and try to start planning to travel now (if they need to plan that far in advance), whether or not they are in the WP.  

msuprincess04

I'm having a DW in 2014, so this was really helpful. Thanks! While two of my girls already know they are bm, the others don't yet, but they know when and where the wedding is. I'll figure out the rest of my bridal party when we are closer to a year out.

Jen4948

Ask them right away.  Retread is correct that destination weddings have different timeframes of planning than regular weddings.

Anybody expected to appear at a destination wedding needs all the notice they can get in order to make the necessary arrangements to attend, and even then, the travel considerations might make that impossible.  So I'd be prepared for prospective wedding party members to decline to be in a destination wedding.

afeliz79

I had a destination wedding and we asked out wedding party as soon as we had actually booked the hotel and the weekend. It was about a year in advance.