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CRaeH314

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bablingbrooke

Why would you cut him from the wedding NOW when it's not until next year, he doesn't have to do anything now, and clearly has something going on?  Your FI should try to fix his friendship, the wedding has nothing to do with it, and you shouldn't be involved at all.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_keep-groomsman-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:27f1ece7-1c8b-47f6-8f69-1ae7fdbcdd45Post:db3bb2c6-2582-4fba-b0c9-5194926c0481">Re: Keep the groomsman or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all i do know that it is my fiances decision, i was only asking for opinions, because he has asked me. He is not worrying about it now, and i was just wondering whether anyone else has had this problem before. Second, I do know we asked them early but everyone does things the way they want.
Posted by CRaeH314[/QUOTE]
The point of saying that you asked too early is that people ask here all the time when to ask, and they get upset when we say, "not yet," so posts like yours illustrate why. Yes, you did what you want, but are you really glad you did it this way?<div>
</div><div>I think your FI needs to try to repair the friendship.  Maybe the guy's going through a personal crisis.  Maybe he's really busy with work or school.  Maybe he's hiking through Panama.  There's no reason whatsoever to make this a wedding issue, so don't.  The best thing you can tell him is that you'll support what he decides, but that you hate to see the friendship devolving and encourage him to make another effort at reconnecting.</div><div>
</div><div>FWIW, my BMs and I regularly go months without seeing each other, and while I'm emailing one of them daily right now, it would be just as normal to not hear a peep out of any of them until Christmas.  Also, are you and your FI a year or two out of college?  Friendships change DRAMATICALLY when you move out of college and into the real world.  You go from daily talks to sporadic FB messages or maybe monthly emails or phone chats.  It's really not uncommon.  Could that be happening here?</div>

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_keep-groomsman-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:27f1ece7-1c8b-47f6-8f69-1ae7fdbcdd45Post:db3bb2c6-2582-4fba-b0c9-5194926c0481">Re: Keep the groomsman or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all i do know that it is my fiances decision, i was only asking for opinions, because he has asked me. He is not worrying about it now, and i was just wondering whether anyone else has had this problem before. <strong>Second, I do know we asked them early but everyone does things the way they want.</strong>
Posted by CRaeH314[/QUOTE]
And I see that that worked out really well for you!

If he's not worrying about it right now, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW!

aerinpegadrak

I answered on the other board.

trix1223

Why do you think he should be kicked out?  Because he doesn't answer phone calls?   That's hardly a reason to boot someone.  Keep calling.  If he's local go visit.  Let him know that you're concerned about him.  DO NOT mention your wedding at all.  And please don't ask if "he still wants to be in the wedding" which is code for "We don't want you anymore."

emilyinchile

Aren't you more worried about why a close friend is suddenly ignoring you than about how that fits into the plans for a day that's almost a year away?

Focus on the friendship first.