How to include special friends but not in Wedding Party??

kgrenon812

I have already asked my 6 girls to be in my wedding party however there are two of my friends who I grew up with who have always been like family. We grew apart during high school and college but have recently reconnected very strongly. 

I'd like to have them have a special part in our big day, but I feel that since I've already asked my bridesmaids, and they know that, if I were to ask them now it would seem like an afterthought. Also, I feel that 8 bridesmaids is a bit much considering my fiance's side will be very small. 

Any thoughts or suggestions would be great. Keep in mind, we are not having a church ceremony so there aren't any readings and our guestbook idea is a bit untraditional as well...

thanks! 

bablingbrooke

Let them come as guests.  Being a guest is an honor.  Grown-ups don't need made-up roles to feel included.  Besides, anything other than the WP or a reader is really a job, not an honor, and most people would pass it up.  Just take photos with them and spend some time with them at the reception--they'll enjoy it. 

Beachy730

Ditto brooke. 

I think brides get too caught up in "honoring" friends and family members, and anything beyond being in the WP or being involved in the ceremony isn't an honor. 

jagore08

Guests.

Pattash

My Aunt wanted my two little cousins to be in my wedding but I wanted a small WP and only asked 3 people and was not interested in junior bridesmaids. To include them, I asked them to be hostesses, sort of like an usher. They'll also help out in other ways including taking pictures for our photo guestbook and making sure everyone gets to sign.

mbcdefg

Just let them enjoy themselves as guests, and take a minute to hug them and thank them for coming (and maybe get a nice pro photo, and give them a print afterward as a gift).

Don't give them a job. That's boring and lame, not an honor. Nobody wants to stand by a guestbook all night.

trix1223

Don't underestimate the happiness that people will feel to be able to just show up on wedding day and enjoy the ceremony and the reception. 

A wedding shouldn't include "jobs" for friends.  A wedding should be about your friends enjoying themselves., and they can't do that if they're cutting cake or telling adults who know how to pick up a pen and sign a guest book to pick up a pen and sign a guest book.

Manwaithiel

Have them be bridesmaids or have them be guests. Just say no to "other jobs".

lalap69

You could always invite them to get ready with you in the morning, but aside from that, just let them be guests.

aerinpegadrak

Honor them by letting them pick out their own clothes and enjoy the party like grown-ups.

thielemm

We do cake pulls in New Orleans that are a great way to recognize special girl friends. I was recently in a childhood friend's wedding as a reader, and I did not think of it as a job. I would have been fine being a regular guest, but I did love that I was including in the day of "getting ready" activities. I am also having some of my really close friends escort single grandparents down the aisle because I did want them to be part of all of the "wedding party events," and our grandparents need some help anyway. 

trix1223

lalap: I think the reason that I don't get it is that you don't have a WP to get ready for other "formal" events.  So it makes sense that it would be more open. 

But from my POV, you ask specific people to be with you on your wedding day, and it's an honor to be asked.

If one of the biggest parts of being in the WP is getting ready with the bride, it kind of dilutes the "honor" of being in the WP if anybody else can be part of that special time on wedding day as well. 

I think I'm not explaining it well, but I think that, at least here, we are pretty definite about what "roles" a WP plays, and for me, getting ready with the bride is a big one. 

lalap69

See, I think standing up at the altar with the bride and groom is pretty big!  But then, you'd probably feel like the honour of being in my WP is diluted anyway since it's so big... :P  I don't want everyone there getting ready with me on the big day.  My sister had a full house on the morning of her wedding and I felt really claustrophic.  But my side + 1 other friend + parents and grandparents?  I can handle.

tmiller88

Where I'm from people add people as personal attedants (help the bride and groomsment get ready) or usherettes. Its a way to include your close friends without having 10 bridesmaids.

kgrenon812

Thank you all for your input! I gave it some thought after reading your posts. I think that when it gets closer to the wedding I will ask these girls to do the programs at the ceremony and then be able to enjoy the rest of the festivities. I just want them to be included in the planning process, bridal shower, bachelorette party etc and don't want them to feel like they shouldn't be part of that since they aren't in the WP.

bablingbrooke

Anyone who's a wedding guest can be invited to those parties; they don't need some job in the wedding to do so.  Just an FYI

Manwaithiel

Well the parties aren't something you plan so "including" people in them is not your concern. Personally I find giving out programmers to be another crap job. But that's just me.