Wedding Party

No Gifts for the wedding party?

So FI nad I have come to a dilemma, he does not want to give thank you gifts to the wedding party even though we have a small wedding party. We have 1 bridesmaid, 1 groomsman, 1 ring bearer and 1 flower girl. We are already paying for their attire even though it's "tradition" that they or their families pay for their own. So, would it be wrong or not very nice to not give them some kind of gift? Please help!

Re: No Gifts for the wedding party?

  • I would still give them some sort of gift, even if it is more or less a small token of your appreciation.  Take them out to dinner or provide a small, inexpensive but thoughtful gift.
  • At least give htem each a card with a handwritten, heartfelt note, thanking them for supporting your union and standing up with you in your ceremony. Yes, you ahve been generous to pay for their attire, but it would be less than thoughtful to fail to thank them for their time and support.
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  • I would be hurt if I were one of your attendants and you didn't do anything.

    You don't have to spend a lot of money, but it's important to do a little token of appreciation.
  • I agree with PPs, I would feel a little offended if I didn't even get a card or small thank you gift. Even something like a batch of cookies would do the trick, you don't have to spend a lot of money.

    You didn't say - why doesn't your FI want to do this?
  • I like the cookies idea.
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  • Ditto the other people.  You don't have to spend a lot but you should give them a little something.

    Yes, their attire is traditionally covered by them but that's for YOUR wedding.  Do something to thank them for the things that they've done.  This is particularly important if they've also done more than the minimum a wedding party does.
  • I don't have any further advice other than to say that I agree with the other ladies.  Gifts don't have to be expensive.  A thoughtful, personal gift will mean more than a typical "WP attendant" gift, anyway.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • You are paying for their attire? That's amazing!!  If I were the bridesmaid, I wouldn't expect anything more than that. Maybe a nice thank you card for supporting you for the day. But come on... they got free attire, a nice meal, and an evening out at no cost!
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  • Keep in mind that even if you ARE spending money on their attire, they may be spending more than that cost on other things for you.
  • I agree with the card idea. It's a nice thank you that shows that you appreciate their support.
  • If it's a matter of budget, you can do a lot to thank them without spending a ton...some of the best gifts are homemade.

    Write a heartfelt card / letter to thank them, as other PPs already noted.

    Bake a loaf of bread, wrap it up in a pretty kitchen towel & give with the card...add a box of tea or bag of nice coffee...you're all set. 
     
    Buy some pretty soaps and lingerie drawer satchet for the girls....

    Someone made me a really amazing jar of fruit preserves for Christmas that is better than any storebought jam...another idea.

    A bottle of wine & a small box of chocolates...


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