When is a friend no longer bridesmaid status?

ListlessPenguin

I'm having a delema with my former best friend from 3rd grade. We used to spend a lot of time together until I began dating my fiance. Unfortunately there was a disagreement beetween him and a good frind of hers. I told my longtime friend that I didnt care about how she felt about him and that it didnt matter. I later aplogized to my friend, telling her that it was not fair that I put her in that situation.

Almost a year has passed and my friend never call. We chat a little on facebook but that about it. I have tried numerous amounts of times to fix the relationship but I just dont think it's possible.

After sending out the invitations (and sending one to her of course) I recieved a call from my mais of honor saying that my former best friend was hurt that I did not ask her to be involved in the wedding. This was not any easy descision for me to make. I felt that the people I wanted standing next to me were people who supported and enjoyed out our company.

Is it wrong for me to hold the past year against her, out of the 15+ years that we've been friends?

suz62984

No it was not wrong of you. I would not expect to be a BM if I didn't supprt my friend's relationship with their FI. I don't think this needs an explaination. She will either come to the wedding or not.

CTGirl30

It's unfrotunate that your friendship suffered due to a disagreement between your FI and a friend of this girl - something that didn't even directly involve the two of you!

I see you tried to apologize but it hasn't really changed much since you guys haven't resolved the issue enough to get your friendship back on track in the year that has passed since.  She's hurt she's not involved in your wedding and you then asked was it wrong to hold the last year against her. Sounds like there's alot of misunderstanding here...maybe she feels like she never really got an apology (even though you feel like you did your part) and she thought there was still enough of a friendship there that she'd be part of the WP...if you were not on the same page here - and it sounds like you weren't since you didn't feel like she was a close enough friend at this point to ask....maybe you two should try talking again if you want to reconcile the friendship. It doesn't mean you have to ask her to be a BM but you can talk about things and hopefully try to patch it up from this point onward so you can move forward.

If she's been a good friend for 15+ years that's not something I'd necessarily want to just let slide....just something to think about if you have any interest in trying again to talk things out with her.