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What should I do?! MOH assuming her role!

I have a good friend who assumed her role at MOH. She assumed this role because when we were teenagers we always used to have those "teenage-like, feminine" conversations such as, "When we get married we will definitely be each other's MOHs!". Well, the day has come for me and not her. As soon as I notified her of our engagement, she assumed the role IMMEDIATELY by saying, "I am so excited! Anything you need me to do as your MOH let me know!! I won't mind making those frustrating phone calls to vendors if you need me to. I am your girl." Well it is all fine and dandy that she will be willing to do all of those "not so fun" wedding tasks; however, perhaps I didn't want her as my MOH and wanted my 15 year old sister to be my MOH?? What am I supposed to say to her? She is one out of two of my best friends and quite frankly she's been quite the challenge to please lately (prior to our engagement). She has just left such a sour taste in my mouth due to past events. Now, I feel bad that my other best friend won't be feeling as "special". I was thinking about making them both MOHs. This is so stressful!

HELP!

Re: What should I do?! MOH assuming her role!

  • edited August 2012
    "We are getting married 01/25/2014 so I'm not even thinking about who is going to be in WP until around next Memorial Day.  The one thing I do know is that I am going to ask [sister] to be my MOH. I don't know who else will be in it, if anyone."  Do not engage her if she asks quetions.  Learn to change the subject. 

    If she seriously needs it explained to her that promises made as children regarding hypothetical weddings are not binding, I would say she has some serious growing up to do.  That, however, is not your responsibility.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • That is our wedding date too! But I had no intentions on choosing the WP until at least a year before the big day and ...you make a good point. I shouldn't have to explain myself. Thank you :)
  • GoodLuckBear was giving you EXACTLY what you could say. I think you should use her words :)
  • I'm currently the "victim" of this situation (ok, maybe that's too strong a word, but I'm SERIOUSLY pissed off and hurt).
    My BF was my MOH and when she got engaged I assumed she'd ask me to be her Matron of Honor but I said nothing, waiting for her to make it official. 
    Her younger sister (with whom she is not and never has been close) proceeded to tell their entire family that my BF had asked her to be the MOH (she hadn't) and just ran with it.  BF has told me flat out she wants me, not her sister but because her family is mostly crazy, drama queeny, ass*oles - she's stuck between a rock and a hard place.
    I seriously cry whenever I think about it.  It has hurt our friendship that I've been there for her at every single turn, when her family members - including her sister - turned their backs on her and she won't stand up to them and have what/who she wants on her wedding day.  I don't bring it up, neither does she - the topic hangs in between us like a big heavy curtain.

    No real advice here except to ask if having them both is out of the question?  Or maybe have no MOH, just bridesmaids?  Your sister can't sign the marriage certificate as a witness if she's 15 (I don't think...)
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