Letting BMs pick own dress?

harrypotterrocks13

I have  been looking at BM dresses but I just don't know what to pick. I want my bridesmaids to have a dress that they can wear again. So I was thinking of telling my BMs the color and length of the dress I want them to have and telling them to pick out thier own dress at David's Bridal. Has anyone else done this? Is this a good idea?

MyNameIsNot

This is pretty popular.  I tried to do this, but the two that I went shopping with liked the same dress, so the other two decided they would just match.  Whatever. 

I think it works great b/c everyone ends up looking more comfortable in something that flatters them, and they have control over their budget. 

ButtonsPepper

I did the same thing, only with Alfred Angelo dresses. Told them the colors they picked the style. Two picked one dress, two picked another, one picked a separate dress, and my VERY pregnant MOH picked a longer dress. PIB it looks great IMO

banana468

I think that can be a great option.  Just make sure that you get their budget in advance before you shop.

And don't rule out other places that aren't strictly bridal.  Some great dresses can be found at places like J.Crew or Ann Taylor.

ButtonsPepper

If you are looking for a dress they will wear again, JCREW and Ann Taylor are probably better options then davids bridal and alfred angelo. For SIL wedding they had us do black knee length from davids, and where I got to pick the style, I still wouldn't wear it again... as they didn't have anything I'd wear again... Jcrew and Ann Taylor have beautiful dresses that I would wear again given the option to pick my own style.

Mrs.B6302007

Absolutely a great idea.

ETA: Ditto about not going to David's.  They still look like prom/BM dresses.  Cocktail dresses can be found anywhere.

duckie1905

No matter what dress I picked at David's I would probably never wear it again.  Just an FYI.  JCREW, Ann Taylor, and other non-wedding stores have the best chance for BM dress re-wear-ability.

I had my BMs picked out any dress, any designer, any length, any fabic, etc. as long as it was black.  Some bought new dresses, some wore something already in their closets, and I've seen three wear the dresses again.  Everyone looked stunning and everyone was comfortable and happy with the dress.

Best.decision.ever.

LauraMosk263

I did this! My 4 girls include one size 00, one size 4 with 34DDD's, a 6'0ft girl, and one who is boy shapped, since I couldnt find one dress to flatter them all, we went to David's Bridal and I picked one color and they picked corresponding beautiful dresses....bonus...the most expensive dress was $150 and they offer layaway!

LauraMosk263

another plus, if they hate their dress, they cant blame you!

mbcdefg

I did this with Ann Taylor dresses. I have two BMs and they had a choice between three dresses. They said that they liked picking their own style.

rainsfallsoftly

That's what I am doing!  I mentioned it to my two cousins who are in my wedding and told them the color I was thinking of and that I wanted knee-length dresses.  This was on Christmas Eve, and when I saw them Christmas Day, they had already checked out the selections online and were super excited with the choices (even though my wedding isn't for 1 1/2 years!)

stina93446

Yeah, I ditto pp. DB dresses will always look like bm dress and even though your nice intention is there, they probably won't wear them again. I would definitely check out Ann Taylor or J Crew or even a department store that has cocktail dresses if you're interested in wearing them again. It's super nice of you to let them pick their own.

Another idea that I've seen and is more lax but really cute when done right is picking a color (green, pink, etc.) and tell them "go buy a dress...don't care who it's by or what shade of the color...just buy one." Either way you do it, it's really nice and your girls will thank you(if not verbally, they'll think it and be happier) I let my girls pick their own. You can see more photos in my bio.

stina93446

[QUOTE]another plus, if they hate their dress, they cant blame you!
Posted by LauraMosk263[/QUOTE]

<div>This is actually not true, FYI. I was in a wedding and I hated my dress even though I got to pick it out because I hated the color. I have yet to wear it again....just saying.</div>

tiffgriffin7

Yes, I told the girls length and color and had them look on their own. One weekend when everyone was in town we went looking at dresses and they all got their dresses at David's Bridal. 2 girls got one dress and 2 girls got another so it worked out perfectly since they got to choose their dress I didn't have to make any big decision and they all seem happy with what they chose!

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_letting-bms-pick-own-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:35a16507-3fc4-464a-8b45-ce121f2c69b9Post:a883d49c-23f0-460b-b1bd-ce76170aeffe">Re: Letting BMs pick own dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I ditto pp. DB dresses will always look like bm dress and even though your nice intention is there, they probably won't wear them again. Posted by stina93446[/QUOTE]

True, but I think it's ok to have their dresses look like BM dresses if that's what you want.  They are BM dresses, afterall.  I think the concept of something they'll wear again is over-something. 

One thing with DB, you can find the dresses online (discontinued or bought from private sellers) for like $20 if you really look.  (That's how I ended up with my RD dress for $35.)  If you have lots of style options, a good shopper could get her BM dress really cheap. 

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_letting-bms-pick-own-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:35a16507-3fc4-464a-8b45-ce121f2c69b9Post:a883d49c-23f0-460b-b1bd-ce76170aeffe">Re: Letting BMs pick own dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]Another idea that I've seen and is more lax but really cute when done right is picking a color (green, pink, etc.) and tell them "go buy a dress...don't care who it's by or what shade of the color...just buy one." Either way you do it, it's really nice and your girls will thank you(if not verbally, they'll think it and be happier) I let my girls pick their own. You can see more photos in my bio.
Posted by stina93446[/QUOTE]

This is what I did. my sisters dress themselves on a daily basis, and both are more fashionable than I. Also, they are 13 years apart in age, so they inherently have different taste. This worked out for me, as older sis found perfect dresses at Ross for $20 and bought them in varying sizes and sleeve types. We forgot to bring them with us when we visited little sis at Christmas, but she said she will wear whatever I want. The dresses are the perfect color and fit both of their styles perfectly.. for $20 each. .

SarahPLiz

Oh, and the dress happens to be one of the school colors of little sis' university, so she could possibly wear it for a cocktail or formal occaision in the next 2 and a half years that she is there.

shanenmuhree

I had a hard time finding dresses that would fit each girl without an obscene amount of alterations and like someone else said I had a wide variety of sizes between my bridesmaids (short, tall, very busty, not busty). I ended up having a seamstress make them (which was nice because it was only $100 per dress and I bought the material at Jo Anns so that was cheap too!) Each girl got to pick the color she thought would be the most flattering on her and the dress was made specifically for their body by the seamstress! I gave them the option of halter top, spaghetti straps, strapless but all of the picked strapless! My sister had each of her girls pick any long black dress they wanted and that looked really nice too. I thought it might look sloppy but it was the exact opposite it looked very unique!

Here are a few pictures if you're interested

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx25/shanent56/wholewp.jpg

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx25/shanent56/wp.jpg

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx25/shanent56/bm.jpg

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx25/shanent56/afewofthebm.jpg

SarahPLiz

Wow, shanenmuhree , I love those jewel tones, and the styles of the dresses. Well done!

swim1011

Definitely agree with this idea.  And let me tell you, it was a *much* easier trip to the store (aria bridesmaids) when they could pick their style, then when we went for my MOH's and she picked out the dresses.  She even commented on how much less time consuming it was, and much more fun.  Exactly what I was going for!

Sanderose

I did just that.  I chose David's Bridal because they're everywhere, and I have a BM that is 1,500 miles away.  I chose the color, the length, and the fabric so that they coordinated in that way and let them pick which one they liked best.  I wanted them to each have their own dress and feel most comfortable in the style that was their own.  (I gave up on the wearing it again idea long ago because I have yet to have a BM gown that I'd ever wear again!)  I actually went online before we hit the stores and printed out all of the options that DB had within' that criteria so that we knew of all of the different options they had to choose from, in case it wasn't available in their size or at that store.  There were enough options that everybody found one that they liked.  I went with knee length, and one of my BM's ended up choosing a floor length that she'll take elsewhere to have it shortened.

The only concern I have now is that the long distance BM is trying to get pregnant and is holding off purchasing her dress... the part that worries me is that it appears that DB is clearing out the dresses (& color) that we looked at and I'm afraid of her not being in the same color or being able to find a matching colored dress.  We're currently about the same size and I'm tempted to purchase a dress for her just in case (even though I could use the money on other things).  If she ends up needing a maternity dress... I'm not sure what we'll do!  I guess get a custom made one and try to match the color to the other BM's somehow?

Anyway, good luck!

JAMIRAY

I let my bridesmaids pick their own dress.  I said it had to be floor length and black, and no other requirements.  And it was beautiful!!! So unique but still classic and stylish.

cutout_star

I don't know why people wouldn't wear David's Bridal dresses again- I think the ones my girls picked are super cute! Especialy for formals and stuff, like in college for Greek Life-- perfect for them, or other dressy weddings.

I told my girls the color, length, and to choose dresses in taffeta/satin. They all got them from David's, and loved the $20 off since I got my dress there.

banana468

FWIW, I'm almost 30 and I've looked at DB dresses multiple times after being a bride and also a BM.  They "look" BM-like and aren't very versatile.  I attended a wedding a few years ago and instantly was able to pick out which guest was in a DB dress as well.  They unfortunately don't re-wear all that well.