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Sjones18211

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Sjones18211

a hostess greets people at the reception and directs them where to go... answers questions...

i hope youre not going to punch me in my internet face

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_marriage-troubles-within-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:372c06c5-1a71-4e8b-99a3-37895c361d57Post:455c6cff-ba3d-458f-b459-da6b2544b703">Re: Marriage Troubles... within my wedding party</a>:
[QUOTE]a hostess greets people at the reception and directs them where to go... answers questions... i hope youre not going to punch me in my internet face
Posted by Sjones18211[/QUOTE]

So basically it is a made up b$tch job.  Got it.  If you wanted to have someone direct your guests and answer questions you should have hired a DOC not asked your friends to work at your wedding.

As for the rest of your issues, let your friends handle their own business.  Does it suck that they are going through hard times? Yes.  But they are adults and should know how to act appropriately and respectfully at your wedding.

And don't worry the focus of your day will not shift to anyone else buy you and your FI.  You both will still be the center of attention on your wedding day.

JennyR01

In Response to Re:Marriage Troubles... within my wedding party:[QUOTE]So in the past month, 2 different people involved in my wedding have told me they want to split/ a break with thier husbands. One is my MOH and one is the hostess her hubby is supposed to be hosting along side her at my wedding. I love them both dearly, but I feel like if something happens within the next 41/2 months, they are going to have a hard time participating in my wedding. And not to be a totall beeyatch, but I feel like the focus of my wedding day will shift to their problems and not the real purpose of the day, my fiance and I getting married... and enjoying it! I know my MOH wouldnlt miss my wedding for anything in the world, but what am I supposed to do, or not do? I've been listening intently to their problems, and it scares me to get married... even though I know I'm totally ready to get married and totally in love with the man I'm marrying. Any suggestions or advice?! Help is greatly appreciated! Posted by Sjones18211[/QUOTE]

Pretty sure the focus of your wedding day will be the wedding, not the personal relationship problems of guests/wedding party members. You can't make everyone not get divorced for your big day. Your "hostess" should be able to tell people where to sit or whatever else you're having her do without a partner. Divorced and single people participate in weddings all the time. So I guess my advice is for you to be there for your friends during this difficult time in their lives.

GoodLuckBear14

How old are all of you that you don't trust your friends to be adults and put their own problems aside for one day?

Also, is Hostess in your area a common thing like Personal Attendants?  Both are rude as can be but I have seen a lot of people from the Minneapolis area defend PAs as being a common custom.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_marriage-troubles-within-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:372c06c5-1a71-4e8b-99a3-37895c361d57Post:5950a890-21fc-4bd2-99e3-df7009266796">Re: Marriage Troubles... within my wedding party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Marriage Troubles... within my wedding party : So basically it is a made up b$tch job.  Got it.  <strong>If you wanted to have someone direct your guests and answer questions you should have hired a DOC not asked your friends to work at your wedding. </strong>As for the rest of your issues, let your friends handle their own business.  Does it suck that they are going through hard times? Yes.  But they are adults and should know how to act appropriately and respectfully at your wedding. And don't worry the focus of your day will not shift to anyone else buy you and your FI.  You both will still be the center of attention on your wedding day.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Or made signs...which can direct people...

OP - I agree with everyone. It's your wedding. Regardless of what's going on, people will be focusing on you. But if these are two good friends, perhaps your worry should be that they're about to get divorced and that is a horrible, difficult, heartbreaking time. They'll still be able to be there and function and, unless you know they're bad people who would purposefully try to ruin your day (in which case...why are they MOH and "hostess"?), they'll be focused on you as well. I went to a wedding for a friend of FI who I'm not even that close to recently and, that morning, I got a call from my mom saying my grandmother was going to be dead within a few hours (Gma made a miraculous recovery... I swear the woman is immortal). I spent a few hours in the morning alone with FI crying, and then I pulled myself together and enjoyed the wedding, truly and from the bottom of my heart. No one even knew except FI and the friend we were in a hotel room with. So...have a little more faith that your friends can handle it.

Maggie0829

There really isn't any point in deleting your post after you have been quoted.  I guess sorry that we didn't give you the sugar coated answers that you were looking for.  Why not try over at WeddingBee, I am sure they will console you and tell you that you should just get rid of all the people in your wedding (guests included) that may be going through personal trouble so as to not take away from your PPD.

StephJean83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_marriage-troubles-within-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:372c06c5-1a71-4e8b-99a3-37895c361d57Post:4e0c3eb7-4d82-4ec9-86d3-d8970e16b855">Re: Marriage Troubles... within my wedding party</a>:
[QUOTE]How old are all of you that you don't trust your friends to be adults and put their own problems aside for one day? <strong>Also, is Hostess in your area a common thing like Personal Attendants?</strong>  Both are rude as can be but I have seen a lot of people from the Minneapolis area defend PAs as being a common custom.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

I've seen Host/Hostess once and it was the brides aunt and uncle and they helped pay for some part of the wedding, which I guess was common in the bride's family. The godparents also help pay and are listed as host/hostess but the aunt also stood at the door to the reception and told people to grab their escort cards/directed people in the direction of their tables. I guess I see having a host/hostess if its a relative like aunt/uncle or godparent that gave money towards the wedding, like if they paid for the alcohol.

QueerFemme

Pay for a Day of Coordinator.  Don't give your friends jobs.  .    Don't bother deleting shittt when you have already been quoted... and deleting the subject just attracts more readers because they want to see what kind of dumb shittt is in the post!  You putting a period in the subject line is the primary reason I came to read this post

rajahmd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_marriage-troubles-within-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:372c06c5-1a71-4e8b-99a3-37895c361d57Post:a08a9c4f-eec1-4f7b-a68f-a0b933046f17">Re: .</a>:
[QUOTE]Pay for a Day of Coordinator.  Don't give your friends jobs.  .    Don't bother deleting shittt when you have already been quoted... and deleting the subject just attracts more readers because they want to see what kind of dumb shittt is in the post!  You putting a period in the subject line is the primary reason I came to read this post
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

<div>Same here.  That's the only reason I opened it.  Good pay off though.  Hostess, really?</div>

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_marriage-troubles-within-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:372c06c5-1a71-4e8b-99a3-37895c361d57Post:455c6cff-ba3d-458f-b459-da6b2544b703">Re: Marriage Troubles... within my wedding party</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>a hostess greets people at the reception and directs them where to go... answers questions... </strong>i hope youre not going to punch me in my internet face
Posted by Sjones18211[/QUOTE]

<div>Those are tasks for the venue staff.  Surely you don't think it's acceptable to ask your friends to do those things.</div><div>
</div><div>The hostess is the person who is doing the inviting, and is usually the person who is paying.  Typically the bride or the mothers of the bride and groom are the hostesses, while the groom or the fathers are the hosts.  </div><div>
</div><div>I'm sure your invitation doesn't say "Random friend who wasn't good enough to be a bridesmaid requests the honor of your presence..."  </div>

samantha24p

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_marriage-troubles-within-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:372c06c5-1a71-4e8b-99a3-37895c361d57Post:a08a9c4f-eec1-4f7b-a68f-a0b933046f17">Re: .</a>:
[QUOTE]Pay for a Day of Coordinator.  Don't give your friends jobs.  .    Don't bother deleting shittt when you have already been quoted... and deleting the subject just attracts more readers because they want to see what kind of dumb shittt is in the post!  You putting a period in the subject line is the primary reason I came to read this post
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]



That's why I'm reading it.
Ditto on everything

Peledreamsofrain

I just got back from my wedding!  It was awesome because I made all my guests 'hosts', and their honorary duty was to eat the food and keep the bartender busy.

All my "hosts" performed spotlessly, I must say.  ^_^  It was a blast.

cwaggoner07

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_marriage-troubles-within-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:372c06c5-1a71-4e8b-99a3-37895c361d57Post:a08a9c4f-eec1-4f7b-a68f-a0b933046f17">Re: .</a>:
[QUOTE]Pay for a Day of Coordinator.  Don't give your friends jobs.  .    Don't bother deleting shittt when you have already been quoted... <strong>and deleting the subject just attracts more readers</strong> because they want to see what kind of dumb shittt is in the post!  You putting a period in the subject line is the primary reason I came to read this post
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

Man, if you really want to direct your guests, change all of your signs to "." because I came running as soon as I saw it.
Screw having a hostess.