updos for bridal party

nniles23

I would like all the girls in my wedding party to have their hair done. I would have to put 1/3 of the cost down for them to reserve their spot, so they are paying $35. Is it okay to expect this or should my girls have a choice here?

banana468

Your girls absolutely should have a choice:

1) If you want them to have their hair professionally done, you need to pay for the entire cost plus tip.  However with that comes:

2) They still get right of refusal.  Some people are very particular about who works on their hair or touching.  If any BM wants to do her hair herself (saving YOU the money if you required it or her the money if it was optional) that's something you need to respect.

One of the things about the day of stuff is that if you require it, you pay.  If you leave it as optional, they can pay.  Just mean it as optional.  Don't say, "Well, I was really hoping that everyone had their hair done but if you can't afford it then I understand if you want to look different." 

gottahavashorti

Please give them a choice.  Unless style, stylist and whether they get their hair done professionally are their decision, you need to pay.

MyNameIsNot

If you want them to get their hair done, you have to pay for it.  All of it. 

But I wouldn't tell them all to do updos.  Not everyone is comfortable/looks their best with an updo.  Your girls know their own style.  Let them choose their own style.  Afterall, you want your pictures to be of your friends looking their best.  Not of your friends looking forced into some uniform bridesmaid look.

stina93446

Everyone has already said what I would have. You should not dictate their hair unless you're paying for it. It's for your wedding and they can't even keep it. I would let them choose because for me, bobby pins are death. They give me the worst headaches and updos make my scalp itch. It's an all around awful experience.

bablingbrooke

No, nothing you said is okay.

mbcdefg

Ditto PPs. You need to pay for pro hair if you are requiring it, even if you let them choose the style. And especially if you are mandating the style. And you need to pay for 100% of it, not a third.

And, for what it's worth ... both of my BMs said to me, "How do you want me to get my hair done? Would you like me to get an updo?" and I replied that the style is their choice (they both opted for pro hairdos, even though I said they could do their own if they wished). One girl said great, because she has a down-style in mind that she wants to do. The MOH sighed in relief and said, "I'm glad you're not requiring an updo. I would've done it had you asked, but I hate updos since I think they make my head look big." And I've had plenty of other friends that paid for their hair professionally done when the bride demanded it, but they were not happy about it (although they didn't complain to the bride, they just biitched behind her back about it).

So, keep that in mind if your argument is, "Well, they all SAID they were O.K. with it." Your friends will often do things they're unhappy with if you ask it of them ... but you should be a good friend in return by giving them a choice and not making them do something. At no other point in life is it right to make a friend do something, so a wedding is no excuse.

duckie1905

If you are requiring that they do anything with their hair (which you shouldn't) you need to pay for everything.  1/3 just doesn't cut it when you want to micromanage your BMs

stina93446

All my girls did something different with their hair and I still paid for it. It wasn't a requirement, but I wanted them to feel beautiful and pampered just like me. And one of them might feel gorgeous with her hair down while the other one may be super self conscious about her ears....

My baby sister did an updo, my other sister did a side ponytail with curl thing, one of my friends did "california beach curls" and the other one who had monstrous hair did a greecian thing. No one remembers these things except the bride.