Drama solved

Pepperika2

stina93446

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-drama-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:38fa6b05-eb1e-4656-9a51-8741f2962147Post:986a9395-bb0a-466e-a3cc-8803ddb780df">maid of honor drama</a>:
[QUOTE]my fiance is having 2 best men...his brother and his cousin....so i picked my sister and best friend making the numbers even.  since i have announced this idea...my grandmother has said shies not going to my wedding, my mom has told me i broke her heart and my sister has stepped down and refuses to share the spot light with my friend....what am i suppose to do...how do i tell my friend that my sister is the made of honor due to my families feelings?
Posted by Pepperika2[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't get this. There are missing parts to this story. Why is your mom's heart broken? Why isn't your gma coming?</div><div>
</div><div>And you know sides don't have to be even, right?</div><div>
</div><div>You cannot ask your friend to step down. That's insulting. Have them share the duties and tell your sister to grow up.</div>

SarahPLiz

First of all, you didn't have to have even sides. That was your choice. YOu should tell them all the truth, that you are closest to the two of them and couldn't choose between them.
While being MOH is an honor, the spotlight is on the Bride and Groom, so if your sister is hoping to get some attention out of this, she is barking up the wrong tree.

YOu have to answer this question for yourself, based on your own family dynamic, but I wouldn't DIShonor my friend if I were you. You bestowed an honor on your friend and your sister. You sister refused it, but your friend did not. She did nothing to deserve being dishonored. If your sister stepped down because she is a selfish AW (attention whore), then your family should recognize that and not pander to her brattiness.

SarahPLiz

I just noticed that your wedding is 19 months away. You should not have even picked your WP this far ahead. I only see more drama in the cards for you.

FYI- The reason you don't pick your WP too far ahead is because there is nothing for them to do and they get burnt out on wedding stuff. Also, relationships change over time. Yes, even yours.

bablingbrooke

Grandma isn't coming because of 2 MOH and 2 BM?  Mom is heartbroken for the same reason?

Either you've left something out or your mom and grandma need to get over this.  Tell your sister that you want her to stay as co-MOH and if mom and grandma can't handle it that says a lot about them.  Call their bluff.  I bet they show up.

banana468

Huh?  Please fill us in on why this is bad.

baystateapple

It's not an insult to your little sister to share the MOH spotlight.  You can always compromise by splitting their "duties" -- sister stands with you on the altar, best friend signs the marriage license, both give toasts.  It seems ridiculous for everyone to get worked up about it.

And I agree, you should have waited to pick your bridal party, but now that it's done, you can't demote your friend.  She's not the problem anyway, seems like your family is.