Bridesman Etiquette

jesscoe

For my wedding party, standing up with me will just be my sister (MOH) and one of my oldest friends, who is a man, my bridesman.

I'm still trying to figure out a lot of the logistics. 

For example: I'm getting my MOH and I monogrammed oversized dress shirts to get ready in on the big day... I'd like my BM to get ready with us, since he doesn't really know my FI or the other groomsmen that well, but I don't want him to be bored, and I don't want him to feel excluded. I'd need to get him something to get ready in too, right? maybe just a bridesman T-shirt since he won't have to worry about hair and makeup? Or is that tacky?

Also, I know what i'm getting my MOH as a gift, but i'm stumped for my BM's.

And for the pro/recessional, I thought about just having both the BM and the MOH enter on their own... or maybe together instead of with the groomsmen. Is that okay?

Any input would be great. 

HobokensFury

I all honesy I would skip the monogram shirts all together.  They really are a waste of money because it's a one time use item.  Also people are really funny about having their initials on things that would be seen in public.

AddieCake

I agree to skip the getting ready outfits. Let people wear what they want to wear. Put that money toward their gift instead. They can walk however you want them to; the only people who need to be paired up are the bride and groom. 

Tami87

I agree that the monogram shirts are unlikely to ever be worn again or any type of t-shirt you would make the bridesman. I would just skip the t-shirt for him and ask him what he prefers to do or is most comfortable with as far as getting ready. Invite him to hang out with you and your sister but don't be hurt if he rather not spend the whole morning watching you get your hair and makeup done.

H's female friend who was an usher/gift bearer got ready on her own and then went and hung out with H and the groomsmen until it was time to leave for the ceremony since she and I are not very close. That worked well for us.

As for his gift shop like it is his birthday. And you can have them walk in however you want. Either of the options you mentioned sounds fine to me.

itzMS

Yeah...another vote for don't make your wedding party wear "getting ready" outfits.

Also, another vote for doing whatever you want for the processional and recessional. I've been in weddings with "non traditional" sides, and the bride and groom just let us walk however. One time, I even chose to link arms with a fellow bridesmaid. It really doesn't matter.

jesscoe

My MOH is actually the one who suggested the monogram button ups haha. Her thought was that since there are so many pictures taken of the getting ready process, that she'd like us to look presentable (She's also my only sister, and I think she'd like the photo ops pre-poof ball gown)

beardownbchs

I think you should ask your bridesman what he wants to do the day of. Even if he doesn't know the other guys, he may feel more comfortable hanging out with them rather than watching women decide on which lip gloss color. If he'd rather not get ready with anyone and just come to the location later, let him do that.

For the processional, ask them what they prefer. If you don't care, see what they're more comfortable with.

Also, buy him something you would buy him for his birthday or Christmas. It doesn't have to me (and probably shouldn't be) wedding related. Buy him something he enjoys.

Good luck!!

s-aries8990

I'd skip the monogram and just get them cheap button-ups from Walmart (mens, womens, or even cardigans)- so much less expensive and they'll feel less guilty about never ever wearing them again. If you must get him a shirt, I'd do a DIY "Ladies Man" shirt with iron ons. Don't spend more than like 15pp- these will never be worn again, so it's money down the drain in exchange for a handful of pictures you'll look at like once a year.

What did you get him for his birthday? What was the other thing you were thinking of for him? Get him that other thing. You should shop for your BP member's personailities, like it is their birthday.

Have everyone process single file.

lindseymon

I have two bridesmaids and three bridesmen in my wedding. I got my bridesmen pajamas as their gift - they are black and white plaid pants and a black shirt with a peacock feather that has a skull in it. They sound weird, I know, but peacock feathers are kind of the 'theme' of the wedding and we all work at a haunted house, so peacock + skull = perfect. For the bridesmaids I got them a pair of pretty dangly peacock earrings that they can wear to the ceremony. You don't have to get them the same kind of thing - just think about your bridesman and what he might enjoy!