Hi, im new. Please dont throw rocks.
Both FI and I know who we would like in our wedding party. Unfortunately, he strongly dislikes (read: hates) one of the girls who I would like to be a bridesmaid. Long story short: I admit she has gone a little nuts (guy problems, family, bad life decisions, erratic behavior) and definitely falls in the “known her forever so maybe I don’t see what a hot mess she is” category. However, she is important to me, has been there for me, and expects to be a BM (I know, nobody should “expect” it, but she does).
NOW, FI not only wants her to not be in the WP, he insists she not be invited to the wedding at all. I doubt strongly she would make a scene or do anything at the actual wedding, think he is just concerned she will be a dramatic lunatic throughout the coming months. I obviously don’t want to upset her or cause World War 3, but also would never set aside my FI’s feelings. Do I not ask her? Burst in to tears? Put a blow up doll in her place? Help!