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amanda.m.ingersoll

This post has been removed.

mbcdefg

Cart before the horse here, honey.

Wait to actually get engaged.

Wait to book a ceremony and reception venue, which sets your date.

Wait until about 8-10 months before that date to start asking people to be in your bridal party.

THEN you can have this conversation with FI.

But not now.

lalap69

So you're not engaged yet, but your BF has told you that not having this guy in your wedding is a deal-breaker?  As in, he won't marry you without him?

Honey, you have bigger problems than David.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-of-his-groomsmen-hates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3d490eb7-bd14-4185-a2f2-031d6be28b8aPost:3fc708f6-f060-4007-804d-cad42bf83d24">One of his groomsmen hates me</a>:
[QUOTE]We've been dating for 4 years (college) and <strong>my guy</strong> just got a job and the first thing he told me was "I'm going to propose as soon as I can, oh and I know you only wanted your two sisters as bridesmaids, but I really want 3 groomsmen - Joe, Chris, and David." Freaking David.  David hated me through high school.  David has only had one conversation with me, and he was drunk.  David was a major part of <strong>my guy's</strong> life growing up (both had family issues at the same time and David is considered a "son" to his family). I don't buy it.  Over the course of our relationship, David has called <strong>my guy</strong> maybe 3 times - he has made zero effort to reach out to me, and has only recently become involved in <strong>my guy's</strong> life since he made<strong> my guy</strong> a groomsmen in his wedding.  I don't want David at the alter.  I don't want him at the table.  He has never supported our relationship, and a wedding is supposed to be a celebration of OUR love, not a shout out to friends of yester-year. How do I tell him that??  What conversation points should I have with him?  He said that if David isn't a groomsmen that this is a deal breaker. 
Posted by amanda.m.ingersoll[/QUOTE]

Yes, it's irrational as hell, but it is like nails on a chalkboard to me when a presumably grown-ass woman refers to her SO as "my guy."

stina93446

All I think of right now is - You're not even engaged.

Wait until you get engaged to figure out if there really is a problem with David.

stina93446

And PS, stop calling him a gm. He's not a gm until you are engaged.

sravll

I agree that you should wait until you are engaged to worry about this problem, and when you are, just ask your fiance to hold off on asking anyone to be in your wedding party until you have had time to be engaged for a little while. I asked too many people off the bat, and so did my fiance, and now we're not even sure if jhalf of his are going to be in the wedding, but all of mine are. So we're going to have like 7 bridesmaids and now only 4 or 5 groomsmen :S

megk8oz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-of-his-groomsmen-hates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3d490eb7-bd14-4185-a2f2-031d6be28b8aPost:3e7e21d6-d732-4ac2-b6ec-b033016c6f82">Re: One of his groomsmen hates me</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to One of his groomsmen hates me : Yes, it's irrational as hell, but it is like nails on a chalkboard to me when a presumably grown-ass woman refers to her SO as "my guy."
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

Ziti, I can tolerate "my guy" literally a single iota more than "My Man". And when I hear "My man", I seriously have to fight the urge to inform Jerry Springer I found a new guest for his show.

megk8oz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-of-his-groomsmen-hates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3d490eb7-bd14-4185-a2f2-031d6be28b8aPost:783812f8-446b-4034-bcaf-d70581edfebb">Re: One of his groomsmen hates me</a>:
[QUOTE]Cart before the horse here, honey. Wait to actually get engaged. Wait to book a ceremony and reception venue, which sets your date. Wait until about 8-10 months before that date to start asking people to be in your bridal party. THEN you can have this conversation with FI. But not now.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

OP, I'm just going to ditto this advice 1000%. Because that's way easier than trying to come up with a clever new way of saying the exact same thing.

stina93446

Meg, I hope you don't mind when I put in the WPBP of the day "My man is good at ____." I think it sounds funny too, but I hate having to write DH/FI.

megk8oz

Stina, I'm ok with it in the polls, lol, I think it's because the polls aren't serious. But when a girl *seriously* says "My man this" or "My man that" .... gaaaa! Even when it's not being directed at me, I almost feel like I'm being challenged into a throw-down and that I should find somebody to hold my earrings for me.

MyNameIsNot

Ditto Malphabet.  

When the time does come to ask people, he gets to ask his side and you get to ask yours.  The number of people you each decide on is irrelevant.  You don't need even sides.  

Why do I get the impression you're about 17?

xoxob

Not...they dated through college, she is clearly over 17. Sheesh.

I guess I should have gone for my initial reaction to this post which was post a link to the "Not Yet Engaged" board.