Groomsman girlfriend....

MarissaZ81

My fiance chose a HS buddy of his to be one of his groomsman, his girlfriend & I USED to be friends, about 3 years ago she made up quite a few lies about me and since then I chose not to involve her in my life. She gets super wasted when she drinks and just makes a mess of anytihng she's invited to. Is it okay for me as the bride to tell his groomsman NOT to invite her even though that's his girlfriend? How should I approach that situation? Please HELP! I don't want to be rude, but on the other hand I dont want her present on my special day!

MarissaZ

lyndausvi

Yeah, you have to invite her.   I would imagine most of us had to invite a person we really did not like to keep the peace. I know I did.  They behaved fine and I was so busy to even interact with them.

stina93446

How would you feel if it were the Best man's wedding and his gf didn't invite YOU? It's rude. You don't actually have to spend all night with her. 

ButtonsPepper

My friend will have to deal with this. We were all friends with this one girl, most of us are not anymore. Her boyfriend is very good friends with his cousin. Well this girl, dates that cousin. She'll have to be invited. She is already dreading the fact that she will be there, but bottom line is, the girl has to be invited.

To be honest though, if I was the gf or FI of someone who was invited to soemone's wedding, and I didn't like them AT ALL, I can't say I'd be thrilled about going, and would probably decline.

MyNameIsNot

You have to invite her. 

1) Not inviting her would be really rude.
2) Outside of that, you'd be asking the GM to choose between his GF and your FI.  Putting him in that position is going to lead to a lot of drama and is not going to come out good for you. 

banana468

Yes, you have to invite her.

I was in the exact same position when I was getting married.  One of our GM was dating someone DH and I affectionately still call "psycho hose beast".

She was awful to me during parts of college and even unscrewed my peep hole to see what I was doing in my dorm room.  (HELLOOO SKETCHY!!)

However, she was invited and came to the wedding and ultimately nothing happened even though I requested that my BMs be on "GF duty" since the GF was known to cause a scene.  She knew not to do anything and consequently, I no longer think she's completely BSC...just quasi BSC.

megk8oz

Ok, so here's the deal, DH and I (And a lot of our mutual friends actually) hate our Best Man's FI. We actually had concerns about whether or not the Best Man was going to show up at the wedding because of her insane behavior (That, and he's completely blind to the fact that she's insane).

She showed up, in a prom gown (The Best Man is 27, she's 19), made innapropriate and irrelevant comments all night to anybody in earshot of her, and "danced like she was at some type of hippie love-in" as my grandma put it.

And guess what? It didn't ruin my day. Aside from greeting her (As we did with all of our guests), I didn't even see her (I'm serious, I don't remember actually seeing her). There are photos of me dancing right next to her, where I'm looking at her, and I don't remember being within 10 feet of her the entire night. Why? Because I was having a good time. And I refused to let anybody spoil it for me.

It's funny, the only negative feedback  post-wedding we got at all actually was about her behavior, which was immediately followed by "Oh, but every wedding has a 'Crazy Aunt Rita', at least you 2 aren't related to yours". And we laughed about it, and said "Well, at least everybody else knows she's crazy ... we had a blast anyway". And we did. Our wedding was fabulous, and whether or not she was there, it was going to be, because we were so happy about being married that nothing would bring us down.

Bottom line: long term relationship means that the 2 are a social unit. You don't get to dictate who the GM gets to bring if you're allowing him to have a date (And if he has a girlfriend, not letting him have a date is a pretty biotch move).

She can only "ruin your day" if you make the decision to choose letting her presence make you miserable.