What does "bridesmaid" mean to you?

chrissyb1113

I've been engaged for a few months, getting married in June of next year and am starting to think of who we should have in our bridal party. I have one sister, and she'll be my MOH, and my fiance has one brother who will be his best man. I lurk around on these boards and read all the "bridesmaid drama" and it looks like a lot of people think of bridesmaids differently. Curious to see what a bridesmaid means to you and how you are "picking" them for your wedding party? 

StephLynn1983

Now... granted, I just posted about my own sister woes... but here's what I think when I'm a bridesmaid (just completed 4th time in 3 years!):
1. This is a person that has been through the ups and downs with you (either in person or over the phone)
2. This is a person that is standing up for you and your marriage
3. This is a person whose couch you could crash on when the going gets tough (or would let you hang out and then guide you home to make up with your hubby)
4. This is a person who holds meaning in your life (whether friend, sibling, future sis-in-law, etc) and will be around for the long haul

Bridesmaids should be the best friends of your life, not just the best friends of the moment.

erollis

I picked my little sister (15), a really good friend (my age) and my cousin (21) were my BM's. My MOH was my best friend (my age). There was a little drama and whatnot but nothing that would end friendships. All but one incident stemmed from my really good friend and her boyfriend (the Best Man). Picking my bridal party was a no brainier as I am close with all of these ladies. 

 My expectations of them were very low and all exceeded my hopes except for one. I had been a slave in other weddings and am no longer friends with those ladies. I wanted to make things as easy as possible for them. They all showed up to look at BM dresses. My cousin, sister and my MOH went bridal gown shopping with me. MOH and cousin helped out the most the few days leading up to the wedding. I hosted a Bridesmaids luncheon as a thank you for all of them. They all came to the Batchlorette but none came to any of my Bridal showers. The day of all of them helped out. No regrets. H asked his guys to do nothing except rent tuxedos and show up. They all easily exceeded his expectations.  

As for H, he had his best friend as BM (his age) along with two really good friends as GM's (his age). One of the GM's went above and beyond. He did everything you would expect the best Man to do (batchlore party, supportive, helpful, etc.) and was the unofficial BM after all was said and done. My two little brothers were a GM (12) and Ring Bearer (7). The only drama came from the Best Man. My little brothers were the most excited to be in the wedding out of everyone and had a blast dressing up.

ETA: this probably didn't help but it is what it is.

erollis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-does-bridesmaid-mean-to-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4529d38e-a951-49c6-89e3-413e0f0ac622Post:420c2179-0d4e-4fc6-8f32-b2de1bd850c0">Re: What does "bridesmaid" mean to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]Now... granted, I just posted about my own sister woes... but here's what I think when I'm a bridesmaid (just completed 4th time in 3 years!): 1. This is a person that has been through the ups and downs with you (either in person or over the phone) 2. This is a person that is standing up for you and your marriage 3. This is a person whose couch you could crash on when the going gets tough (or would let you hang out and then guide you home to make up with your hubby) 4. This is a person who holds meaning in your life (whether friend, sibling, future sis-in-law, etc) and will be around for the long haul <strong>Bridesmaids should be the best friends of your life, not just the best friends of the moment.</strong>
Posted by StephLynn1983[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I feel that this should be true of any good friend. The bolded is especially true.

</div>

squeakyduck

Bridesmaids meant my best friends. The ones I wanted to have spending the night on my last night before the wedding. The ones who have been there for everything, through all the ups and downs. The friends who I will be rooming with in the nursing home. They were nothing but supportive of me in everything. 

I did have one bridesmaid who caused a ton of drama that was unrelated to my wedding, and she removed herself from the wedding and from my life several months before the wedding. But it was for the best. She was a bad friend who was taking advantage of me. I had asked her becasue we had been ok friends, but for a long time. Avoid doing that. Length of friendship is secondary to quality. I wish I had thought about that. 

Wait a little while before you pick anyone. Less regrets that way. 

pgcp

Bridesmaids are girls or women who you want to honor on your wedding day.

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-does-bridesmaid-mean-to-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4529d38e-a951-49c6-89e3-413e0f0ac622Post:677f34f5-2e69-4e45-905e-56f2d272cacc">Re: What does "bridesmaid" mean to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bridesmaids are girls or women who you want to honor on your wedding day.
Posted by pgcp[/QUOTE]

I agree, for me it really was that simple. When I got engaged and started thinking about it, I realized there were four girls I couldn't imagine NOT standing next to me as I got married. They are my best friends, and I want them in a place of honor as they have honored me by being awesome friends over the years.

AdeleDazeem

My sister was my MOH.  I wanted no one else.  A bridesmaid to me was someone who I couldn't imagine not standing next to me while getting married.  My sister was the only one who fit the bill.  Don't get me wrong - I have other close girlfriends - but no one is like my sister.

EDIT: I also didn't want to look at my wedding pictures in ten years wondering who my bridesmaids were.  Things change, relationships flow, and friendships fade.  I wanted someone who I would know in ten years, who has known me before and will know me long after.  That doesn't necessarily mean a sibling, but it did for me.

littleluckypenny

simple answer:

Bridesmaid is a person you want standing with you on the wedding day.  Someone who is important to you and supports your marriage. (va-jay-jay not required)

jemmini6

Ditto PPs.  Bridesmaids (and groomsman) should be the people you are closest with and have supported you, and your marriage and you want to honor them by having them stand next to you while you take one of the biggest steps of your life...not who can do the most for you or will look the best in your pictures. 

Remember, having a WP means YOU are honoring THEM, not the other way around.  If more people realized that, this board would be pretty dead.