shower/bachelorette party - hostess gifts

signingjulie

I posted this on my club board but wanted to see what you ladies thought.  My shower and B-party are on the same day.  B-party is being done jointly with a friend whose wedding is a month before mine.  All of our bridesmaids are helping out in some way.  The question is, should I get my friend's MOH and BM a thank you gift? Obviously I am getting something for each of my ladies.  The more I read on this board, the more perspective I get on WPs and that none of the extra stuff (throwing a shower, b-party, etc) is mandatory.  2 of my BMs are flying in and my other BM has been working really hard on stuff and going out of her way.  I want to let them know I really appreciate it but don't want to be rude to the other 2.

gottahavashorti

I would give them a hostess gift from both you and the other bride to simplify things.  If both of you want to do more, give them a bottle of wine or flowers from both of you and each give your own WP members a small gift from just you.

MyNameIsNot

Do you know of a little something that each of them would like?  For ex, my MOH hosted my shower and b-party and I gave her concert tickets as a thank you gift.  It was a splurge, but she's amazing and there's only one of her. 

What about something like wine or a spa treatment?  Or a book or DVD or something that they'd want? 

mbcdefg

I think a small gift is nice, but you don't need to go overboard since I assume you're already getting them bridesmaid gifts for being in your wedding.

The wine is a good idea (get the Trader Joe's $3 bottles if you're short on cash), or maybe a nice box of chocolates. Marshall's has cute packages of note cards for $5 or less. Some girls have done a little bottle of bath gel and a shower poof or a travel umbrella with a note saying, "Hope all your showers are as nice as mine!" and I thought that was cute. Maybe a $5 or $10 gift card to Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, McDonald's or iTunes?

If nothing else, write them each a heartfelt note of thanks. I am sure that they will be touched by your sincere appreciation - sometimes a material gift is not necessary.

If you only plan to do this for some people and not others, then do it in private so that you don't hurt anyone's feelings. It's fine to show extra appreciation for people who went above-and-beyond, as long as it's done discreetly.

signingjulie

I already got the one BM 2 small things.  4 are from out of town so I'd want to give them something easily portable - I'm thinking gift card or something small and easy to pack in a suitcase.  The shower gel/umbrella idea is really cute, I just might steal that.
p.s. you have no idea how much I wish there was a Trader Joe's where I live!

mbcdefg

The nearest Trader Joe's by me is about 30 minutes away, and because of county liquor laws they don't sell any wine or beer. Booo! I finally got to try a bottle of their pinot grigio during a trip up to Boston a couple weeks ago - very tasty! Certainly worth the $3

SocialWorker2B

I did the whole "I hope your shower was as good as mine was!" thing for my mom and MIL, who threw our jack and jill shower. I put one of our framed engagement pictures, candles, loofas, bath gel, body lotion and a t-shirt that I made that either said "Matron of Honor" or "Best Man" (H's mom was the BM, lol).

Personally, I wouldn't get your friend's MOH and BM gifts. Maybe check with her to 'make sure' she is getting them gifts. If she isn't, maybe suggest she does or you can just write them a nice note? Also, if she isn't, then definitely do your MOH and BM gifts in private.

I personally think that BP gifts should be different from the gifts that are given for hosting showers and bachelorette parties. But, that is just my opinion.