Wedding Party

A question for bablingbrook:

I am curious as to how your sister/MOH tried to sabotage your wedding day.   Do you have any kind of relationship with her now? 

The advice you give (usually some version of "get over yourself") on this board is so spot-on, and it often comes with some reference to your sister's attempts to ruin the day.  What happened? 

Re: A question for bablingbrook:

  • I posted about it right after the wedding but I'll provide the cliffs notes here.  You'll also just have to take my word on a couple of things, as I don't like to post a lot of personal information.

    First off, yes we do still have a relationship, although not a close one.  Two weeks after the wedding my sister was diagnosed as bipolar, which pretty much explains everything revolving the wedding and life in general.  For a long time she hurt just about everyone she touched so even though she is now in treatment and in the process of getting her life on track, and that I now understand that it was an illness, it will still take a long time to mend all wounds (most of which have nothing to do with the wedding).  We may never be close with each other.

    I just expected her to show up sober with the dress.  Which she did.  So she fulfilled her job as MOH.  However, she did a few things designed to hurt me and DH and upset our wedding:

    -My BMs wanted to throw me an OOT bach party and planned to pay for my sister's expenses.  All she had to do was tell them when she was available.  She wouldn't return calls for three months.  When she finally did, she told one BM (and my mom) that the other two were telling her that she had to pay hundreds of dollars, were yelling at her, and were really shaking her down for money.  None of this was true.  But this also meant that they spent months trying to plan something without knowing whether she was going to be there.  This also caused a rift between the BM who was told that my sister was being shaken down for money and the other two who kept insisting it wasn't true.

    -My sister told me every. single. surprise. just before it happened specifically to ruin it.  

    -Threw a temper tantrum right before the shower after insulting me about my outfit.

    -Brought six uninvited guests, who all proceeded to get completely wasted.  I was fine with her bringing the friends; we had room.  I did have a problem with her getting so wasted she had to be escorted out early.  My awesome BMs and dad kept me from learning about this at the wedding; I didn't find out until a few days later.

    -Insulted the priest, rolled her eyes through the whole rehearsal, and let us all know how boring she thought it was.  

    -Called me a bridezilla after I noticed she needed to get her BM dress hemmed, I drove her to the shop, and I paid for the alterations.  If we could have hemmed the dress without her body in it, I would have.  But because she had to take 20 minutes to go to the alterations shop I was a bridezilla.  Our mom paid for the dress in the first place.

    I could go on and on, there is more.  But you get the idea.  So if DH and I could have a perfect wedding after all that, 99% of the people here can.  None of this seems like a big deal now.  But her intentions did hurt.  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • Oh, and she was also really mean to my ILs, who are from overseas.  She was mimicking their accents and being really rude to people who had come all the way from the middle east and Africa for our wedding.  She was also very rude to our dad's relatives.  We don't know them that well and a couple who she'd never met were at the wedding.  She not only didn't talk to them, she kept referring to them as "those people."  "Those people" were incredibly nice, came halfway across the country for the wedding, and weren't in our lives through no fault of their own.  Our 15 year old cousin, who was really excited to meet us, was so hurt when my sister blew her off after our cousin she came up to say hi and introduce herself.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • Yowza.  You have a big heart. 
  • I don't know if that's true.  She's my only sibling and I think she'd have to do a lot worse than that to warrant being kicked out of my life.  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • Damn, brooke. I didn't know details either. Hope your sister keeps getting better.
  • Damn Brooke, you must have really let things roll off of your back to still have a wonderful wedding with all of that nonsense going on. I also have a brother who exhibits strong signs of being bipolar, but refuses to seek medical attention, so I have an idea of what it can be like.He does a lot of hurtful things on purpose, just to get reactions out of people. He will be at our wedding, and in it as an usher because I just don't feel comfortable having him stand up for me. I did want to include him in some way, because unfortunately you can't pick your family, and you have to make life work with the ones you have. I think I might just have to take deep breaths and not let it bother me.

    Photobucket
  • Honestly, I think it's really hard for a single person's behaviour to ruin your wedding.  It just is.  Yes, I made a conscious decision that I was not going to let my sister's actions bother me (they usually do) but it wasn't that difficult to do so.  Too much good stuff was going on!  Would I have believed that before the wedding?  Probably not.  But you're on such a high that it's hard for a single person to rain on your parade, you know?  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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