Two Matron of Honors..?

jmanno108

My wedding isn't until June 14, 2014. My fiance knows who he wants to have as his groomsmen, and I know who I want my girls to be. BUT I am so torn and undecided on who I want to make my matron of honor. My best friend, who I have always said would be my maid of honor lives in a different state 15 hours away. My future sister-in-law is also the other one that I am thinking about. She has already helped me with so much, and I am her MOH. They will both be married by the time my wedding comes, so I was wondering how wrong is it to have two matron of honors?  I know usually people have a maid of honor and a matron of honor but I've never heard of two matron of honors?? HELP!

misslobita

I am actually going to be a co-maid of honor fory best friends wedding. She couldnt decide between her couin who is the same age and me and her fiance wanted his best friend but felt pessured to ask his brother so it help they could have 2. I think you can do whatever you want in regards to your party, its your wedding! The only thing you have to think about is what responsbilities you want to give them. Im confused as to who will help her with the dress and at the alter. and the bachelorette party is a whole other ordeal but just talk to them and it will all work out ( :

[Deleted User]

First, don't pick your wedding party until about 9 months from the wedding. Relationships can change and you'll have a better idea by then.

Second, your MOH should be the person who is the nearest and dearest to you. It's not about who can help the most. Your FI should be the one helping you the most. If other people offer to help, great, but it's not a requirement. If you're worried about parties, you have no say in them as they are a gift and anyone can throw them, so that's not really something that matters distance-wise either. My MOH is across the country as well. She's done as much as she can, but that's not why I picked her. She's my sister and my best friend and that's that. Nothing else mattered in choosing her.

Third, if, when it's time to pick people, you still feel you want two, that's totally fine. Many people on here have done it.

jmanno108

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_two-matron-of-honors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:48c09a7b-ae93-462c-a58b-883c1f379a23Post:3ae4cc48-8e55-4c4b-b980-a4efa0a9c7ba">Re: Two Matron of Honors..?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am actually going to be a co-maid of honor fory best friends wedding. She couldnt decide between her couin who is the same age and me and her fiance wanted his best friend but felt pessured to ask his brother so it help they could have 2. I think you can do whatever you want in regards to your party, its your wedding! The only thing you have to think about is what responsbilities you want to give them. Im confused as to who will help her with the dress and at the alter. and the bachelorette party is a whole other ordeal but just talk to them and it will all work out ( :
Posted by misslobita[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh, that's a good point. Thank you!</div>

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_two-matron-of-honors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:48c09a7b-ae93-462c-a58b-883c1f379a23Post:7c54efaf-66cf-4818-ad46-4cd58d89d302">Re: Two Matron of Honors..?</a>:
[QUOTE]First, don't pick your wedding party until about 9 months from the wedding. Relationships can change and you'll have a better idea by then. Second, your MOH should be the person who is the nearest and dearest to you. It's not about who can help the most. Your FI should be the one helping you the most. If other people offer to help, great, but it's not a requirement. If you're worried about parties, you have no say in them as they are a gift and anyone can throw them, so that's not really something that matters distance-wise either. My MOH is across the country as well. She's done as much as she can, but that's not why I picked her. She's my sister and my best friend and that's that. Nothing else mattered in choosing her. Third, if, when it's time to pick people, you still feel you want two, that's totally fine. Many people on here have done it.
Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]

All of this.

I also wanted to note that you don't have to have a MOH at all.  If you really can't choose you can just have them all be BMs.

jmanno108

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_two-matron-of-honors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:48c09a7b-ae93-462c-a58b-883c1f379a23Post:7c54efaf-66cf-4818-ad46-4cd58d89d302">Re: Two Matron of Honors..?</a>:
[QUOTE]First, don't pick your wedding party until about 9 months from the wedding. Relationships can change and you'll have a better idea by then. Second, your MOH should be the person who is the nearest and dearest to you. It's not about who can help the most. Your FI should be the one helping you the most. If other people offer to help, great, but it's not a requirement. If you're worried about parties, you have no say in them as they are a gift and anyone can throw them, so that's not really something that matters distance-wise either. My MOH is across the country as well. She's done as much as she can, but that's not why I picked her. She's my sister and my best friend and that's that. Nothing else mattered in choosing her. Third, if, when it's time to pick people, you still feel you want two, that's totally fine. Many people on here have done it.
Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not about who will help me the most. I understand that your MOH is suposed to be the one nearest and dearest to you, that is why I am having a difficult time because they are both very close and dear to me. I've heard of co-maid of honors, but never two matron of honors, that's why I was asking. </div>

daveANDkristen

Yes, it is fine to have two Matrons of Honor.  None of your guests will care about the marital status of your wedding party.

daveANDkristen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_two-matron-of-honors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:48c09a7b-ae93-462c-a58b-883c1f379a23Post:3ae4cc48-8e55-4c4b-b980-a4efa0a9c7ba">Re: Two Matron of Honors..?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am actually going to be a co-maid of honor fory best friends wedding. She couldnt decide between her couin who is the same age and me and her fiance wanted his best friend but felt pessured to ask his brother so it help they could have 2. I think you can do whatever you want in regards to your party, its your wedding! The only thing you have to think about is what responsbilities you want to give them. Im confused as to who will help her with the dress and at the alter. <strong>and the bachelorette party is a whole other ordeal</strong> but just talk to them and it will all work out ( :
Posted by misslobita[/QUOTE]

If someone wants to host (or co-host) a bachelorette party for you, they will do that.  The bride should not ask anyone to host it for them.  Whether you (general you) have two MOHs, BMs/no MOH, whatever, anyone in the bridal party (or not) can throw you a bachelorette.

To be honest, I find it kind of strange that so many people think it is the MOH's responsiblity to throw showers and b-parties.  First of all, no one should be expected to throw parties or help plan the wedding to determine their place in the wedding party.  But aside from that, I had 1 MOH and 2 BMs, and all three of them planned both my shower and my b-party together. 

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_two-matron-of-honors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:48c09a7b-ae93-462c-a58b-883c1f379a23Post:5c4c437f-f5cb-4dd5-9150-d53565319a1c">Re: Two Matron of Honors..?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Two Matron of Honors..? : It's not about who will help me the most. I understand that your MOH is suposed to be the one nearest and dearest to you, that is why I am having a difficult time because they are both very close and dear to me. I've heard of co-<strong>maid of honors, but never two matron of honors,</strong> that's why I was asking. 
Posted by jmanno108[/QUOTE]

Maid of honor vs Matron of honor are the same thing except one is married (the matron) while the other one isn't.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_two-matron-of-honors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:48c09a7b-ae93-462c-a58b-883c1f379a23Post:3ae4cc48-8e55-4c4b-b980-a4efa0a9c7ba">Re: Two Matron of Honors..?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am actually going to be a co-maid of honor fory best friends wedding. She couldnt decide between her couin who is the same age and me and her fiance wanted his best friend but felt pessured to ask his brother so it help they could have 2. I think you can do whatever you want in regards to your party, its your wedding! <strong>The only thing you have to think about is what responsbilities you want to give them. Im confused as to who will help her with the dress and at the alter. and the bachelorette party is a whole other ordeal</strong> but just talk to them and it will all work out ( :
Posted by misslobita[/QUOTE]

re: responsibilities at the ceremony (like signing the marriage license and holding the bouquet/ring) just ask the bride (and if you are the bride, just pick).  I had two MOHs; the one who stood next to me did train adjustments, and held the ring and my bouquet. My other MOH (who I'd actually known longer) signed our marriage license. 

On the other "responsibilities" that really aren't necessary, but not un-common: Both gave speeches.  They co-hosted my bach party even though they'd never met prior to my engagement - they friended each other on FB and worked it out. 

OP have two MOHs if you can't choose, NBD.

ElcaB

I don't think having two MOHs is wrong at all. 

If you feel torn and feel you have a close, special relationship with both of them, go for it! It's your wedding and if those are the women you want to honor, ask them both! 

lovesclimbing

In Response to Re:Two Matron of Honors..?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Two Matron of Honors..?:In Response to Re: Two Matron of Honors..? : It's not about who will help me the most. I understand that your MOH is suposed to be the one nearest and dearest to you, that is why I am having a difficult time because they are both very close and dear to me. I've heard of comaid of honors, but never two matron of honors, that's why I was asking.nbsp;Posted by jmanno108Maid of honor vsnbsp;Matron of honor are the same thing except one is married the matron while the other one isn't. Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

I had never heard of a matron of honor before TK. In my circle, they are called a maid of honor regardless of whether or not they're married. Being in my 20s, I would feel weird being called a matron just because I'm married.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_two-matron-of-honors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:48c09a7b-ae93-462c-a58b-883c1f379a23Post:d1f0774f-5c58-465a-923c-6b9d4e327a3d">Re:Two Matron of Honors..?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Two Matron of Honors..?: I had never heard of a matron of honor before TK. In my circle, they are called a maid of honor regardless of whether or not they're married. Being in my 20s, I would feel weird being called a matron just because I'm married.
Posted by lovesclimbing[/QUOTE]

You don't have to call them matron's if you don't want to it is just the correct terminology for someone who is married, that's all.

I agree with you.  I am 28 and would not like to be called a matron.  I also don't like it when yonger people call me mamn or Mrs. Maggie.  That is just weird to me.

LizM61409

My wedding isn't until next year, but I will also be having 2 maids of honor- my 2 sisters. Didn't make sense to me to choose one over the other.

erich83

I am also having both my sisters as my maids of honor; couldn't choose between them.  However, I predict that the older one will take on more of the organizing, since she's really creative and good at planning things.

mandi195

Matrons of Honor... it's the matrons that are plural, not the honor...
Sorry, couldn't help myself.