I guess I was wrong?

Jeannette_04

I couldn't figure out how to delete this... so I did this instead.

bablingbrooke

I don't think you're wrong.  Having said that, before I got married I had no idea weddings were charged on a per-person basis and I'm ashamed to say I did bring my uninvited BF to a wedding once.  I really thought it was a lump sum, like any other party.  If neither of them are aware of that, that could be what's driving this--"what's one more person with 120 people?"  

Jeannette_04

I'm sending the invite to her house because her brother doesn't know where he will be living in the summer and i'm paying for the invites to be addressed right now.

The brother and girlfriend have been together for about 6 months, which i personally don't consider a long time.. is that considered long term now a days?

MyNameIsNot

Etiquette says you must invite people who are married, engaged, living together, or in a long term relationship with their s/os.  

Yes, 6 months is a long term relationship.  You need to invite her.  

bablingbrooke

18 years old + 6 months together = not serious in my book.  I have no doubt HE considers it a serious relationship, but objectively it probably isn't.

britne28

He's 18!  I wouldn't think we'd have to worry about the LTR rules with an 18 year old.  Mail him the invite and explain to him that it is not a + 1.  If they all have a problem with it, then it's their problem, not yours.

suz62984

I don't think it is a long time either but to kids that age it is an eternity! You really should invite her and call to smooth things over with your BM. Just tell her "Sorry if the invitation offended you. I'm trying to stay within a very strict budget. I've been thinking about what you said and I really think it will be better for everyone to invite her. I hope there are no hard feelings"

bablingbrooke

Why would you delete.  Most people agree with you.  The kid's 18, he wants to go to your wedding with the "love of his life" with whom he may not even be speaking in 6 months.  Don't be pressured into inviting him.  If he doesnt' like it, he can skip.  The BM can get over it.  

emilykathleen511

Hey now. I am still with the same person I was when I was 18. I think that is definitely a long-term relationship. If this was anyone else (20 years old for instance) would there even be a question? I think you should invite the girlfriend.

bablingbrooke

You might still be with him...but I'm willing to bet about 80% of people aren't.  I was with my BF from when I was 18 for 5 years.  But at the 6 month mark it would not have been necessary to invite him because I was an immature 18 year old and could have dumped him for a dumb reason a week later.  

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_negative-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4958b567-4250-42d7-ad7c-95cb7a1e7b69Post:66de77ae-b532-4e93-9195-fa8897808921">Re: Negative Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]18 years old + 6 months together = not serious in my book.  I have no doubt HE considers it a serious relationship, but objectively it probably isn't.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

<div>I very much disagree.  It doesn't matter whether they will eventually get married or not.  It only matters whether or not they are in a committed relationship.  If the couple consider themselves a serious relationship, that's what matters.  That's why most people just invite everyone that is "exclusive".  </div><div>
</div><div>Otherwise, you open up the door for couples to say "yes, they've been together 6 months, but they are all wrong for each other and it will never last" and exclude them.  You don't get to make judgment calls about other people's relationships.  </div>

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_negative-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4958b567-4250-42d7-ad7c-95cb7a1e7b69Post:98dcb845-5750-41d1-a0bb-bd1ad94d44ea">Re: I guess I was wrong?</a>:
[QUOTE]You might still be with him...but I'm willing to bet about 80% of people aren't.  I was with my BF from when I was 18 for 5 years.  But at the 6 month mark it would not have been necessary to invite him because I was an immature 18 year old and could have dumped him for a dumb reason a week later.  
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

<div>True. But, I don't think outside people get to decide how serious a relationship is. There are some people who meet and get married all within a couple of months. Other people who their relationship may seem immature and full of drama, but they end up getting married. The point is, I don't think it is OP's call to say that their relationship is not serious. If they (and even the parents) think it is serious, then it is.</div>

bablingbrooke

That's fair enough.  I still think 6 months isn't necessarily a good threshold for a serious relationship.  Some people are already engaged at 6 months while others aren't even exclusive yet.  If you're already setting an arbitrary cut off to limit your guest list I see 6 months as being (in general) too early.  DH and I had a one-year cut off that we thought worked out pretty well.  

MyNameIsNot

What is with all the deleting today?  

Deleting makes you look like a child who didn't hear what they wanted.

megandjay

Well it is hard to comment since the OP was deleted. Based on PP comments, I would disagree, we are using the 1 year (approx) mark to consider a relationship long term. Personally at 18 years old (whether senior in H.S. or freshman in college), I would not have expected to be invited +1. I don't have any teenagers invited to our wedding though, so I can't say for sure what I would do.