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Re: A

  • RoseblairRoseblair
    First Comment
    edited March 2013
    .
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:e315f92f-146f-4792-870a-0c72b92ddc24">Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What's a girl to do when you have 4 bm who are willing to help with plans at a moments notice and one who basically gives off the "who cares" vibe and I now have myself questioning my bp choices.
    Any questions or opinions I put out mainly get responded by all my other girls but one, and all the parties and planning dates we've set I have myself down one bm regularly.
    I get the impression that she's uninterested and the wedding is 4 months away. What do I do now?
    Posted by Roseblair[/QUOTE]

    Why are you having your honored BFF's help you plan? Seems to me that's between you, your fiance, and maybe your mom. Maybe she's excited for the wedding that is still four months away. Have you talked to her about this?
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  • rb1734arb1734a
    First Comment
    If she doesn't help you plan and jump at a moment's notice, then she obviously isn't a good friend and is unreliable.  In my opinion, girls like her should never be included in a bridal party because they just can't be trusted to get things done. And who wants bridesmaids that can't get all the little things done?  Especially the parties-those should be planned and paid for, no excuses.  Kick her out now-at least she might be able to get her money back on her dress.  
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    Why would you DO anything? If you need help with wedding planning, your fiance should help you. Your bridesmaids are not responsible for helping you pull off a wedding. And what the hell are "planning dates?"
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:f0df6488-cbcc-4a6c-9960-94d7b6fe3004">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she doesn't help you plan and jump at a moment's notice, then she obviously isn't a good friend and is unreliable.  In my opinion, girls like her should never be included in a bridal party because they just can't be trusted to get things done. And who wants bridesmaids that can't get all the little things done?  Especially the parties-those should be planned and paid for, no excuses.  Kick her out now-at least she might be able to get her money back on her dress.  
    Posted by rb1734a[/QUOTE]


    Seriously?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • rb1734arb1734a
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:90d26c50-0b11-498b-a1b6-b164c193d1a9">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why would you DO anything? If you need help with wedding planning, your fiance should help you. Your bridesmaids are not responsible for helping you pull off a wedding.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>Why would the bridesmaid NOT do anything?  It's not the bride's responsibility to do all that-why else would there be wedding parties if not to deal with all the BS that comes with planning a wedding?  You very incorrect-just google "bridesmaid responsibilities" and you'll realize that they are obligated to do a whole lot.  (Don't people know how to use the google?)</div>
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  • rb1734arb1734a
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:5d8f6ff2-e196-40a7-be9f-cf77d56848a3">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : Say whaaaaat?
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

    <div>Uh yeah, simple google search: <a href="http://www.perfect-wedding-day.com/bridesmaid-duties.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.perfect-wedding-day.com/bridesmaid-duties.html</a></div><div>
    </div><div>Check out #1.  Clearly, it IS the responsibility of the bridesmaids to help plan.  Is this really that difficult?  People are so obtuse.</div>
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    Well, if an article on TK claims it, it MUST be true. Looking at the bad advice you are giving all over the boards makes me pray you are just a troll.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:1fb41952-156e-4a00-b63a-28e5cbafae82">Re:Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Opinions as in wedding attire, shoe styles, etc. and also pre wedding events for ex. Stag and doe activity suggestions type deal. There is never really any feed back. Also our venue is holding an info date in july for all involved in the big day. Now this isn't a mandatory thing where all the girls need to come. but after rarely receiving feedback on much of anything is it rude to not extend the invite to save the rejection? Or do you just invite all and forget about it. Knowing it'll all be over before you know it?
    Posted by Roseblair[/QUOTE]


    Tell you what. Let me help with your Stag and Doe ideas. Don't have a fundraiser for your wedding. Have the wedding you can afford. There ya go. One less thing to worry about.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • rb1734arb1734a
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:a8d2be77-46fe-449f-9315-36626003ec5e">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : The wedding industry will give you "bridesmaid duties". These are crap. A friend will likely offer to host a shower or a party, but that needs to be her decision. Also, there is someone great to help with wedding planning BS ... It's called the groom. It's his wedding, too. If it's too much to handle, you can scale it back or hire someone to help. Your maids are not your slaves.
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

    <div>I didn't say they were "slaves" but I feel as though when you agree to be in a bridal party, that you know what you're signing up for.  I've gone through so much cr*p for my friends' weddings that everyone knows what is expected of them.  We all do it for each other-it is what it is!  I just feel like every bride deserves the ultimate experience, and those closest to hear should help her get it!</div>
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:e315f92f-146f-4792-870a-0c72b92ddc24">Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What's a girl to do when you have 4 bm who are willing to help with plans at a moments notice and one who basically gives off the "who cares" vibe and I now have myself questioning my bp choices. Any questions or opinions I put out mainly get responded by all my other girls but one, and all the parties and planning dates we've set I have myself down one bm regularly. I get the impression that she's uninterested and the wedding is 4 months away. What do I do now?
    Posted by Roseblair[/QUOTE]
    A girl plans her own wedding and is grateful that 4 of her good friends are able and willing to help at a moment's notice.



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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:3c7994ce-792f-46a8-a1c4-26a5fc494939">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : I didn't say they were "slaves" but I feel as though when you agree to be in a bridal party, that you know what you're signing up for.  I've gone through so much cr*p for my friends' weddings that everyone knows what is expected of them.  We all do it for each other-it is what it is!  I just feel like every bride deserves the ultimate experience, and those closest to hear should help her get it!
    Posted by rb1734a[/QUOTE]
    Nope, you are absolutely incorrect.  I hope to hell you're joking and you don't really think the crap you're spewing is true.



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  • LoredLored member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:686b1632-be0e-4d31-b372-3bbc741941db">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, if an article on TK claims it, it MUST be true. Looking at the bad advice you are giving all over the boards makes me pray you are just a troll.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]



    No, no if its on the Internet, it's true!!! Also, if my friend did it and my cousin knows her boyfriend's sister's co-worker also did it, it must not be rude.

    Bwahhhhhhhh
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  • rb1734arb1734a
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:2a3116b3-687e-4908-b328-86692f96c6c6">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : Those articles are written by the wedding industry in the hopes that you'll spend thousands of dollars on stuff you don't need. They also don't care about how the friendship between bride & bridesmaid end up after the wedding. Let me ask this .... If you had the following women that are the closest of your friends, would you want them as your bridesmaids? 1) a friend that barely earns minimum wage and lives 4 hours away, who is also a BM in. Wedding 3 months before your own? 2) a friend who is getting married 3 months before you and has 3 children 3) a friend who travels for work 4-5 days / week and lives an hour away
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>1) I hope she would be a bridesmaid!  It would be easier to help plan my wedding if she's already planning her own. </div><div>2)  The kids would be really cute flower girls-yes!</div><div>3)  I would never ask a friend to come help me during the week, that's what weekends are for (duh!)</div><div>
    </div><div>You make this all sound so selfish, but I think that your nearest and dearest should (and will) go above and beyond for you.  After all, you only get one day, and it should be magical!

    </div>
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    OP, deleting your OP is immature and rude.  Changing the title of your thread will do wonders for gathering three times as much attention as you would otherwise, though, so kudos for that.



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  • rb1734arb1734a
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:a7bc8781-7313-4115-8b96-2dd4cb185c2b">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : They were all my bridesmaids, and none of them did any of the things you expect your "friends" to do. And, regarding the friend who travels .... Have you ever had a job that requires travel 4-5 days / week? I do. It's pretty stinking hard, and when I was home, I had things I had to do for myself. I also did not ask my SIL (#2) just because her daughter was cute. I don't use my friends. And I had a phenomenal wedding.
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Actually, yes, I HAVE travelled 4-5 days a week for work.  In fact, I travel overseas for work, and often, and while my schedule sucks sometimes, I make time for those people important to me.  In fact, when I AM in town, I often work 14-16 hour days.  And even when I'm not, I'm still available either through Skype or Gchat, or whatever.  Just because I'm in Signapore or Hong Kong or Moscow during the week doesn't mean I can't help out, look at pics, and provide input.  In fact, because I'm 8-15 hours away, I'm often up when they're researching in the evening, so I SHOULD be helping out.  I'm not resentful that I went through all that for my friends-it's what we DO for each other. We all make sacrifices, that's why we are best friends.  

    </div>
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:cb35a5f9-829b-4459-a8f8-e6f3fb8b50b2">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : Actually, yes, I HAVE travelled 4-5 days a week for work.  In fact, I travel overseas for work, and often, and while my schedule sucks sometimes, I make time for those people important to me.  In fact, when I AM in town, I often work 14-16 hour days.  And even when I'm not, I'm still available either through Skype or Gchat, or whatever.  Just because I'm in Signapore or Hong Kong or Moscow during the week doesn't mean I can't help out, look at pics, and provide input.  In fact, because I'm 8-15 hours away, I'm often up when they're researching in the evening, so I SHOULD be helping out.  I'm not resentful that I went through all that for my friends-it's what we DO for each other. We all make sacrifices, that's why we are best friends.  
    Posted by rb1734a[/QUOTE]

    Superwoman!
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  • rb1734arb1734a
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:1ee0442d-011d-4204-ae70-2105b856d81b">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : Superwoman!
    Posted by NYCMercedes[/QUOTE]

    <div>I only wish!  If I were superwoman, I wouldn't be tired all the time and cranky.  Or have to diet to not gain weight since I can't always get to the gym.  If only!</div>
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  • rb1734arb1734a
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:a7dc395b-2a10-4da7-90cf-5444d3ea03cc">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : If you're happy to do it, then stop referring to it as the 'crap' you went through. Mine didn't volunteer, and I am perfectly okay with that. My husband & I planned our wedding together. Few people are as excited about your wedding as you are.
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Good point Kristan.  Guess I'm just cranky tonight.  I'm glad I was able to be there for them and help them out, and overall, its a positive experience that I look back upon.  I guess I just always assume my friends share in my excitement, but I also really love weddings (maybe more than most).

    </div>
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  • rb1734arb1734a
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:89ec520c-f0d4-4e9c-8922-3e3a29f892d4">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : I suggest setting boundaries for yourself. You don't need to be putting your health at risk for things like this, then martyr yourself.
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]
     <div>Something I am actively working on.  I'm sorry that my opinions got people so heated-I don't spend a lot of time on the knot, and didn't realize what's the norm (though I still don't agree with many of you).  Can we agree to disagree?  Off to catch my flight, so don't think I'm just ignoring.</div>
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    OP, please go to troll school, get a degree, brush up on the skills. It makes me sad when baby trolls fall flat. Sad panda in snow.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited March 2013
    Well... rb is interesting.

    Perhaps she wouldn't be so aggravated, annoyed, tired, and bogged down if she realized that she didn't have to do any of the bridesmaid's crap she's martyring herself under.

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  • winelover123winelover123 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment First Answer
     I really don't understand why brides want their BMs to help them plan. I don't want anyone else's input other than my FI's and my mom's (because she's paying for half of our wedding so she should be in the loop). . The only thing I'd love help with is our centerpieces but I'm more than able to just do it by myself if I can't bribe my BMs into helping :-D Wine and pizza is the best bribe ever. OP, your BMs don't have to do anything. It's nice if they help with something, but it isn't required. And don't DD.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Hmm, OP's sn is Roseblair. Obvious troll's starts with rb... AE, perhaps?
    image
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  • Jessa617 Jessa617 member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:be1e8714-3696-4741-b372-934d4a101a7a">Re: A</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hmm, OP's sn is Roseblair. Obvious troll's starts with rb... AE, perhaps?
    Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

    I never understood why people occupy their time arguing back and forth (with themselves?) and make multiple accounts. How lonely must one be?
    Anniversary
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    You guys, she travels the world and has to run to catch flights! Obviously she's wiser and more sophisticated than we are!
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  • DoubleLL1118DoubleLL1118
    First Comment
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_will-i-have-a-mia-bm-on-my-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4abe3389-295f-4275-bf0a-b50c0b44b660Post:0494c5f0-a4ab-4b2e-8c3e-6a497562cdd2">Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will I have a m.i.a bm on my big day? : 1) I hope she would be a bridesmaid!  It would be easier to help plan my wedding if she's already planning her own.  2)  The kids would be really cute flower girls-yes! 3)  I would never ask a friend to come help me during the week, that's what weekends are for (duh!) You make this all sound so selfish, but I think that your nearest and dearest should (and will) go above and beyond for you.  After all, you only get one day, and it should be magical!
    Posted by rb1734a[/QUOTE]

    I dont know who is crazier, this chic or the OP. Dear Lord.
    OP and rb1734a go ahead and treat your friends like crap. We do not care if you do not have any friends after the wedding is over. Choose your own fate. As far as "oh my friends treated my like crap to get their most magical day of their entire lives" BS just because they treated you like crap doesnt make it right. If they jumped off a bridge would you too? By your theory it sure sounds like it.
    If your best friends in the whole world OFFERS to help you with things, by all means accept. But its not a requirement to make your day the most magical day EVER! OMG!

    I have been planning my wedding for almost a year, and I havent had ANY help(my mom has helped me here and there and my bridesmaids OFFERED with on my dress search). I have 7 bridesmaids, YES, 7! and they are my closest family and friends. They offer constantly to help me with things and I always tell them I have it covered. Because truly want my bridesmaids to feel honored. Not like the crap you want to treat them as.

    Ugh, I feel so horrible for your bridesmaids!
    If they stay in your weddings they are much better women than me!
    I am usually calm and collected but these posts just irked me in the most very wrong way.

    I hope you are kidding.
    Or contact us after your weddings when you have no friends so we can giggle at you. Good riddance for people putting their "oh the most magical day of their entire lives" before their friends feelings and "friendships".
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    RB, if you are real and not a troll, your situation doesn't prove anything. In fact it proves the opposite of what you think it is.

    You stated in a post that you WANTED to do all these things for your friends. Awesome. The other posters here have been saying all throughout this thread that if friends WANT to help out, by all means, they can. We aren't saying you can't.

    There is a difference between CHOOSING to help plan someone else's wedding and being FORCED or EXPECTED to. The OP was doing the latter. Not the same ball of wax.


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    Vacation
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