BM Dress Drama Help

rgomez27941

So I have 4 BM's and since they are all different heights I picked long dresses. They all have different styles, but are all long crinkle chiffon. One of my BM's I offered to pay for her dress because I know that she is working and going to school and I just wanted to make that gesture for her. So she took me up on it and I bought her the dress and it fits perfectly. It's a long strapless Amsale crinkle chiffon dress. Now she is wanting to wear a shrug to cover up a tattoo that she has on her upper back. I'm really not a fan of this idea. I think since none of the other girls are wearing them it will look weird, and I dont want her to stand out because I would like my MOH to be the one that looks special. I just do not know what to do. Should I go ahead and purchase another dress for her (that I would have to rush at this point) that would cover her tattoo?

Magdeline687

Why does she want to cover up the tattoo? I think that allowing her to have a shrug or buying a different dress would be kind of unreasonable at this point. She can use makeup to cover it up if she is really that worried. Otherwise, possibly all the girls could have shrugs. 

rgomez27941

I definitely do not want the other girls to wear shrugs. They have details on their dress that shrugs would look horrible on. The tattoo is pretty large and colorful. I'm not sure what it would look like with make up over it.

Summer2011Bride

Hmm well I would want her to be comfortable. It's possible she thinks you might want it covered. I would probably say "I think your tattoo looks great; please don't cover it on my account. But if you want to cover it anyways, feel free to wear a shrug." I mean, one of my BMs "stood out" because she was pregnant and had a different dress than everyone else. It was honestly NBD. If she is self-conscious of it or maybe wants to cover it because she's wearing a formal dress, I would let her. You might also suggest tattoo cover-up (I have no idea how well that works). When is your wedding? If it's in a hot month, you might mention she could possibly be very hot with a shrug.

When it comes down to it, I think it's fine if one girl has a shrug and the others don't if that's truly what makes her feel comfortable. I don't think you need to offer to pay for the shrug though.

ETA: Since most pics are from the front, you could always ask her if she would mind removing the shrugs for pictures and then all the girls would look the same for pics. You wouldn't see the tat then anyhow. But she could wear the shrug for the ceremony and reception.

Kfrancis99

I was in a friends wedding in October, and we all wore different dresses, same color and material, but different. One of the girls had a large tattoo on her chest that would have shown. Instead, the girl who did our makeup, covered it up with makeup and you couldn't even tell it was there!  I wouldn't purchase another dress for her, unless she is going to pay for this one herself. She knew she had the tattoo when you paid for her first dress, why didn't she express concern over her tattoo then?

graysquirrel

To be very honest, nobody really pays that close attention to what the BMs are wearing. They say "oh, those are nice dresses!" and then go back to watching the B&G. In the grand scheme of things, I think that your friend being comfortable in front of a crowd is more important than her looking slightly different with a shrug on. I like the idea above of letting her wear it and then having her take it off for some pictures. 

travistanya

David's Bridal has special tattoo cover up stuff. Just a thought. I don't know how well it works or anything but it might be worth a try.

bonge

If she wanted the dress you bought why didn't she think about the fact you paid money for it before she said yes to the dress??

i would NOT pay money for another dress, wasting my money on 2 dresses. 

I get wanting her to be comfortable but that is a tad overboard. I also would not want her standing out with a shrug when the other girls don't have one on, it would appear off. 

freebread03

Find out why she wants to cover it and, like PPs said, just make sure that she knows you're ok with the tattoo and don't think she needs to cover it.  If she insists, nobody will really notice--their attention will be on you.

mbcdefg

My bridesmaid wore her shawl to my ceremony while my MOH did not. Nobody noticed or cared. It did not affect the photos. My BM had a back tattoo and I told her that both I and the priest were fine with her showing it in church. She decided on her own to wear the shawl ... IDK if it was because of the tattoo or not. And nobody is going to be searching for the detail on their dresses. Really, nobody is going to equate a shrug/shawl with "This girl is wearing this to stand out or get attention." If anyone even notices which they probably won't they will just figure that she preferred her arms covered for whatever reason. This is only "dress drama" because you are choosing to turn it into an issue. Stop over complicating things and just let her wear the darn shrug. It really, REALLY does not need to be this difficult, especially since I'm sure you have lots of other things to worry about right now.

Viczaesar

And if someone is freezing their noonies off you won't let them wear a shrug either?  That's called micromanaging and being over controlling.

babe915

Sephora carries tattoo cover up by Kat Von D. I would definately reccomend that!

kristiml

Dermablend also has a cover up product for tattoos.  Check out the video on you-tube of zombie boy - really amazing stuff!!

rgomez27941

Thank you! I'm going to order some now!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-dress-drama-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4bf845da-34bf-4740-8277-332f906c6d71Post:780f3dcc-1ab4-44c4-9bb5-019e4a9790b5">Re: BM Dress Drama Help</a>:
[QUOTE]Sephora carries tattoo cover up by Kat Von D. I would definately reccomend that!
Posted by babe915[/QUOTE]

rgomez27941

Thank you so much for those of you who provided POSITIVE feedback. I'm going to order make up tattoo cover and give that a try.

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-dress-drama-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4bf845da-34bf-4740-8277-332f906c6d71Post:aec993e7-b7a3-4715-9392-65b2e77ec02c">Re: BM Dress Drama Help</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you so much for those of you who provided POSITIVE feedback. I'm going to order make up tattoo cover and give that a try.
Posted by rgomez27941[/QUOTE]

Oh Lord. Grow up.