IDK what to do !?

kayaggie89

My friend of 20 years is driving me nuts!! she doesnt like my fiance, she's lying to me telling me he doesnt respond to her and neither does my MOH (best friend since college). she has not showed up to  my engagement party , my housewarming party . she doesnt come to anything we invite her to. When she found out i had her as a bridesmaid she flipped. She has not been there for me at all since high school. when i meet my MOH we went out 24/7 plus we had classes together. My MOH was there on the cruise with us when my Fiance proposed, she was there helping me send out invites, move into my new apartment, set up for our house warming part, and engagement party, she's been there for everything.
My wedding wont happen till 2014 so ive got all year to plan and decorate and save up money.
But im already considering not to even have her on my wedding party, I dont want her to be there because i asked her to , i want her to be there for her own wants and needs. I have only aske 3 of the 5 bridesmaids. and she is one of the ones i havent asked yet just because i cant put up with her whining, and selfeshness.

What do you guys think ?

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_idk-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4d8d250d-224b-474c-a1ae-dcb8b23fd240Post:145ef4fd-f298-40a1-809e-95e8a088aef0">IDK what to do !?</a>:
[QUOTE]My friend of 20 years is driving me nuts!! she doesnt like my fiance, she's lying to me telling me he doesnt respond to her and neither does my MOH (best friend since college). she has not showed up to  my engagement party , my housewarming party . she doesnt come to anything we invite her to. <strong>When she found out i had her as a bridesmaid she flipped.</strong> She has not been there for me at all since high school. when i meet my MOH we went out 24/7 plus we had classes together. My MOH was there on the cruise with us when my Fiance proposed, she was there helping me send out invites, move into my new apartment, set up for our house warming part, and engagement party, she's been there for everything. My wedding wont happen till 2014 so ive got all year to plan and decorate and save up money. But im already considering not to even have her on my wedding party, I dont want her to be there because i asked her to , i want her to be there for her own wants and needs. I have only aske 3 of the 5 bridesmaids. and <strong>she is one of the ones i havent asked yet just </strong>because i cant put up with her whining, and selfeshness. What do you guys think ?
Posted by kayaggie89[/QUOTE]

<div>It sounds like she already knows she's a bridesmaid, which means you have, in fact, asked her to be in your wedding. (Though with your date, you really should not have asked any of them yet.) If this is the case, you can't kick her out without ending the friendship and looking like a total b!tch and bridezilla. If you are okay with that, go for it.</div>

Maggie0829

First take a deep breath.  You need to relax big time.

Second, just because she hasn't helped you with your wedding planning and decorating your house does not mean she is a bad friend.  All of that stuff your MOH is helping you do is completely voluntary of her and by no means required.

Has this potential BM of yours bad mouthed you to others?  Has she tried to sleep with your FI?  Has she tried to harm you physically?  Has she stolen from you?  Has she done anything besides not helping you out with your wedding that would cause you to end your friendship?  If the answers to all of these questions is no, then I don't see what your issue is.

Calm down, relax and take the wedding out of the equation.  If you still think she is not a great friend to you then don't ask her to be in your wedding.

itzMS

Agree with pp's. You need to calm down. You have over 1 year to go.

Lots of people have busy schedules and your engagement & housewarming parties aren't at the top of the list. Even if she wasn't already booked, some people don't like to attend these types of parties as they are sort of braggy & gift-grabby.

If you value her friendship, take her out to lunch one-on-one and talk about things other than your wedding. It's not all about you!

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_idk-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4d8d250d-224b-474c-a1ae-dcb8b23fd240Post:145ef4fd-f298-40a1-809e-95e8a088aef0">IDK what to do !?</a>:
[QUOTE]My friend of 20 years is driving me nuts!! she doesnt like my fiance, she's lying to me telling me he doesnt respond to her and neither does my MOH (best friend since college). she has not showed up to  my engagement party , my housewarming party . she doesnt come to anything we invite her to. When she found out i had her as a bridesmaid she flipped. She has not been there for me at all since high school. when i meet my MOH we went out 24/7 plus we had classes together. My MOH was there on the cruise with us when my Fiance proposed, she was there helping me send out invites, move into my new apartment, set up for our house warming part, and engagement party, she's been there for everything. My wedding wont happen till 2014 so ive got all year to plan and decorate and save up money. But im already considering not to even have her on my wedding party, I dont want her to be there because i asked her to , i want her to be there for her own wants and needs. I have only aske 3 of the 5 bridesmaids. and she is one of the ones i havent asked yet just because i cant put up with her whining, and selfeshness. What do you guys think ?
Posted by kayaggie89[/QUOTE]

I think it would be easier to understand what the problem is if you did not use so many pronouns.  I can't tell if you are talking about your MOH, a BM, friends, etc. every time you use "her" or "she".

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_idk-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4d8d250d-224b-474c-a1ae-dcb8b23fd240Post:4fa01f32-5054-41c3-b7e3-f3a994f426af">Re: IDK what to do !?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to IDK what to do !? : I think it would be easier to understand what the problem is if you did not use so many pronouns.  I can't tell if you are talking about your MOH, a BM, friends, etc. every time you use "her" or "she".
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  I have no idea what is going on.  Please try to write more coherently.  </div><div>
</div><div>All I've gotten is that you asked a WP 2 years in advance.  That's just crazy.  </div>

Peledreamsofrain

I personally think this is MUD with terrible punctuation and grammar.