Advice Needed (Kind of Long)

kducharme

So, I have a friend who assumed she was a bridesmaid in my wedding.  I know she assumed because she talked to me and my other friends (who she assumed were also bridesmaids) about what they should wear at the wedding and this and that.  Well as assuming does, she is not a bridesmaid for many reasons (which I won't get into on here). 
I had my engangement party (which she said after we talked she was still attending) last weekend and a few days before I sat her down and told her she wasn't going to be a bridesmaid in my wedding.  More so that she doesnt make a fool of herself talking to everyone about being a bridesmaid and everyone knowing that she isn't. 
Long story short, my friend now think I kicked her out of the wedding and it's a HUGE drama that I just don't want to deal with and partly the reason of why she is not a bridesmaid.  She also didn't come to the party.  Any advise for what my next step should be?

trix1223

What exactly is a "house party"?

stina93446

While it was wrong of her to assume that she was a bm, it was also a little rude that you  sat her down and said "you're not my bm." A bit blunt, no? Maybe a softer blow like "I haven't picked my bridal party right now" could have been a better route. No one likes being told that they're not included.

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_advice-needed-kind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4f4003da-b946-401c-8844-0e0e7b3e6790Post:9f193086-f4ec-41eb-a722-f8182775fa30">Re: Advice Needed (Kind of Long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Advice Needed (Kind of Long) : That's the vibe I got from one of my friends who I had to inform that she wasn't a bridesmaid (for the record, she flat out said "I hope I'm in the weddinggggg" then when I told her I wanted her to be a part of the house party she freaked out). Honestly, don't let this get to you.  I know, easier said than done, but maybe this will make you think about what kind of friend she really is.  Some people will never get over how selfish they are, and personally I feel like if you did include this girl in the wedding she would somehow make it all about her (and I say this because she sounds just like the girl in my situation).  Not even worth it..
Posted by Samwise16[/QUOTE]

Your wedding is over 2 years away.  You shouldn't be asking anyone yet.

banana468

If you *do* ask early just don't think wedding with the gals until you're under a year away. 

And I have to echo malphabet's answer to you OP.  I don't think she's being great but I think you probably owe her an apology for how you handled the situation as well.

kducharme

So just to clairfy...you guys think it was wrong of me to talk to her in person about not being a bridesmaid?  Just curiuos, what have been a better way to address the issue?  I really thought talking it out with her was the best way to address the issue, and my question was what do I do now?

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_advice-needed-kind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4f4003da-b946-401c-8844-0e0e7b3e6790Post:bbf99340-dd2d-47d8-8325-f29f6dc6b08d">Re: Advice Needed (Kind of Long)</a>:
[QUOTE]So just to clairfy...you guys think it was wrong of me to talk to her in person about not being a bridesmaid?  Just curiuos, what have been a better way to address the issue?  I really thought talking it out with her was the best way to address the issue, and my question was what do I do now?
Posted by kducharme[/QUOTE]

<div>Malphabet has a great suggestion toward the end of her post for what to do moving forward (per usual!).</div>