Bridesmaid saying AWFUL things behind my back...

masondancer1

Deleted

mbcdefg

Don't put 100% trust in an e-mail forward. Someone could've very easily doctored it up and sent it to you. Or maybe someone hacked into her e-mail account and sent that to cause trouble. Or maybe she was drunk or something when she wrote it.

But, assuming it's really her words, I would take a step back and think about things for a minute. If she's talking about the bridesmaids' shoes ... why did you pick out their shoes? That's totally unnecessary and she should be picking out her own shoes. (And if she's talking about YOUR shoes, then who the hell cares what she thinks? She doesn't have to wear them.) If she says you're acting like a bridezilla ... why might that be? Did you ask her budget before you picked out the bridesmaid dress, did you tell her she has to get hair and makeup professionally done and you're not paying for it, did you ask for/demand a shower and bachelorette, etc.? There are two sides to every story, and maybe she thinks you're treating her unfairly. We can't just assume that she's 100% wrong and you are completely without fault here.

And if you're saying that you think she'll run off and gossip about your wedding afterward ... that must mean she was ALWAYS a gossip, right? If you're so certain she'll do this, then this behavior must not be coming out of left field. In which case, you can't expect her to change her ways just because you're getting married. But if you always trusted her and this is suddenly changing your opinion of her, then I would tread lightly before placing any blame on her ... because, again, this might just be a cruel joke of some kind from someone else.

If you would have otherwise assumed that your friendship is great aside from this e-mail, I'd personally ignore it. At least for now. Like Brooke said, take some time to calm down and think about this. And see if your friendship with her appears any different in the meantime.

But if your friendship (which should have NOTHING to do with your wedding) has been on the fritz for a while and this is just the cherry on top, I'd schedule some time to go out for coffee with her and ask if there's anything she wants to talk about. Hopefully she will open up and explain herself. Maybe she's being dramatic or just a jerk, or maybe you have been out of line yourself and maybe you owe all your BMs an apology for something.

budvar1012

 I'd just cut to the chase and ask her what's up with the email.
 Frankly, nobody needs gossipy crap at any point in their lives and if it's really not her who wrote the email (as someone else pointed out, emails can be pretty easily changed when forwarded), then fine, you two talk it out. If it is her, then I'd just end things with her right then and there-- no drama, no fighting, no nothing but the facts,behavior like that is incompatible with respect and friendship between two adults.

Jessie888

Just go talk to her. Dont kick her out, ask her to step down, gossip about her in return. Just be open and honest and go talk to her. You asked her to be a bridesmaid so she is obviously important to you. Sometimes things can get out of hand or be read out of context.

Ask her to grab a coffee with you or maybe lunch? And talk. 

banana468

Ditto that you should just cut to the chase.  Focus on the friendship and see where it goes from there.