Showers....parties....money

mrskitton

Just curious...what is a proper amount of money each bridesmaid should contribute to the bachelorette party and also the bridal shower?  I know obviously everyone does things differently,  but what would be a fair amount to ask for?

My concern is mostly the bridal shower.  Alot of people I know who have been in weddings generally had the BM's bring a dish to pass and did not request any money.  My friend's bridal shower is being planned by the MOH and she is requesting $50 from each BM, however, the shower is going to be at someone's house and is not catered!  I personally think thats alot of money, but what is good etiquette for requesting certain amounts of money?  TIA!

trix1223

Agree with stage:  talk with each BM and determine what kind of party (shower) they are envisioning.  Ask them what they're comfortable with, and THEN plan the party based on the budget you have available.

For my DD's shower, we asked each of the BMs to bring a dessert and a bottle of wine.  That was the sum total of what was asked of them.  The shower was in the backyard, and it was lovely.  Decorations were low-key, and DD's MIL provided favors.   DD loved it, and so did I.

I'd guess the entire total for a shower for 20 people came to under $150 when all was said and done.

banana468

It's not appropriate to hand someone the bill without their input.  I'd meet the "Your cost is $50," with, "I can spend $X."  And leave it at that.

mbcdefg

The main hostess should ask each participant, "What can you afford to spend?" and THEN plan a shower around that. Not, "You owe $x, cough it up."

You are well within your rights to tell this chick if you are not willing to contribute $50. ESPECIALLY if she is the one to do all the planning and is not involving you.

swim1011

At the shower I hosted last summer, everyone bought something, rather than paying someone cash.  Eg- one girls brought streamers, plates, cups, etc, and another brought favors, balloons... you get the idea.  It definitely did not require $50 per person, even though there were at least 30 people there (we did a potluck, since it was mostly the brides relatives, and they loved the idea). 

emilyinchile

Ditto the other girls. If you don't feel comfortable just saying "here's my $30, that's all I've got," I'd suggest talking to the girl that's asking for money and saying something like "you know, I think $50/person is expensive for what we're doing, and I don't know about the other girls, but for me it's a lot on top of other expenses. Can we talk about the party to see if there are other ways we can all contribute?" And then suggest things like splitting up the supplies or seeing if anyone has a contact to get certain things cheaper.