Bridesmaid Problem

Kris0314

Help! I need to know what to do about one of my bridesmaids.

I'm having dresses made for my 5 bridesmaids. We all met up about 3 weeks ago to get their measurements taken, but one girl was sick and couldn't make it. Turns out she needed to have minor surgery (minor meaning it takes about 2-3 days to recover). She told me she would go on Wednesday of last week and then she changed it to Friday, but she still hasn't been to the seamstress to get her measurements taken. They have their first actual fitting this coming Thursday and she has stopped returning my messages.

Should I take this as a sign that maybe she can't be relied on or am I just having bridal brain and worrying too much about things? I love her to death, but I really need her to take care of this!

jagore08

Just let her be.  Maybe she'll show up to the first fitting for her measurements.  Your wedding isn't until October so she really has some time.  Don't continuously call her because you'll just annoy her.  Give her a break.  Even if they say it takes a few days to recover from surgery doesn't mean that that's always true.  She could still be in pain or just really fatigued from it.

gottahavashorti

[QUOTE]Help! I need to know what to do about one of my bridesmaids. I'm having dresses made for my 5 bridesmaids. We all met up about 3 weeks ago to get their measurements taken, but one girl was sick and couldn't make it. Turns out she needed to have minor surgery (minor meaning it takes about 2-3 days to recover). She told me she would go on Wednesday of last week and then she changed it to Friday, but she still hasn't been to the seamstress to get her measurements taken. They have their first actual fitting this coming Thursday and <strong>she has stopped returning my messages.</strong> Should I take this as a sign that maybe she can't be relied on or am I just having bridal brain and worrying too much about things? I love her to death, but I really need her to take care of this!
Posted by Kris0314[/QUOTE]

Have you called her several times about this?  Just give her the seamstress's phone number, let her know how much time the seamstress needs to alter the dress and allow her to take care of it on her own.  Or she can find her own seamstress.

They really don't need to all go to the seamstress together, since the seamstress won't be able to work on all of their dresses simultaneously.  So it will be okay if one goes at a later date.

Conclusion: It's just bridal brain, so find a way to relax.  Take a day off from planning, read a book, take a hot bath or go on a date night .

banana468

I think you just need to relax.  Even if a surgery has 2-3 days to recover, that can cause other things to be out of whack. 

For example: If I'm sick for a few days then there are days of dishes and laundry that I still have to do because I'm not doing them when sick.

So check up on her, and call the seamstress to find out when she absolutely needs your friend's measurements.  Then take a bath.

megk8oz

Ditto PP.

She just had surgery, even though it's considered one with a short recovery time, she might be tired or still hurting, or not reacting well to any pain meds she may have been put on. I had all of my wisdom teeth pulled a few years ago, most people will say you can go back to work the next day after that, but I wound up in bed for a week and a 1/2 (Turns out, I respond horribly to Percocet and one of the areas wound up getting infected on top of that). And during that time, I did not want to take phone calls or be stressed about everything else that was going on in my life. I wanted my rest, and to put everything off until I was at full capacity to deal with it.

Also, while getting the alterations done and out of the way early is a nice thought, why do they need to do this now for a wedding that's 6 months away? There are brides that don't even have a BM dress picked out with this much time left, why must she go now? Is there no possibilty whatsoever of her getting pregnant and/or gaining/losing weight in the next 6 months? I mean, I'm not saying get the dress altered the week of the wedding (Altough, most seamstresses can make such things happen), but why do they need to get done so soon?

mizri

I agree with PP.  She has plenty of time, and the seamstress can only do so much.  Me and my mom are making all of our WP attire and won't be starting BP until about 4 months out.  You are definately suffering from Bridal Brain, so sit back, enjoy a nice drink to take the edge off, I recommend Dr Pepper and Bacardi DragonBerry (I just discovered the awesomeness of that mix) and relax.  It'll be ok.  

Kris0314

Dr Pepper / Bacardi DragonBerry AND a hot bath sound great. Thank you all for your advice!! I'm just going to chill and I'm sure it'll get done. I think you always forget how much time you actually have so it's nice to have lots of voices of reason!!

mizri

I second the hot bath, too.  Those are wonderful.  Everyday when FI gets home from work, he takes over with the kids and kicks me to the bathroom to unwind in a hot bath.  I think I'm gonna start adding a drink to that time of relaxation.