Asking Bridesmaids + Timing Save the Dates?

sarahdactyI

We have a long engagement, a November 2013 wedding, and a 90% out of state guest list. I have save the dates ready to be addressed but it occurred to me that hey! Once these go out, people will actually start seeing our wedding website, which has an empty "wedding party" page.

I haven't asked bridesmaids and FI has only asked my brother to be in his WP. (I guess I'm dealing with the classic "FI Has FOUR SISTERS, ranging in age from 10 to 36, and I had planned on asking just my 4 closest friends, so this would double my wedding party, so I have just...not been dealing with it yet" thing. Super fun but not my question....)

Is it weird to send STDs before asking wedding party members? I can't really think back as to timing on other weddings we've been in, but I'm thinking it might be weird if people get save the dates and THEN are asked to be bridesmaids/groomsmen. Will they think they've been b-bridal-party-listed? How did you/do you plan on timing it?

Thanks

mlg78

You can change what is shown on your wedding website.  For example, I recently did some registry stuff so I added that section.  Prior to that the "Registry" section wasn't even on the site for me.  I'd just eliminate the sections you don't have any info about.

Simply Fated

I would definitely hide or remove the wedding party section until you've asked your girls.

As far as recieving a STD before being asked, I don't think they would assume they've been B-listed. I wouldn't, anyway.

msuprincess04

I'm having a destination wedding, and the STDs are going out well before I ask my wedding party. I did as other suggested and just hid the section on my webpage until after they've been asked and accepted, which will be about 8 months before the wedding. I've had some family and friends check out the page already and no one has mentioned that there isn't a bridal party listed. For those who causually asked me if I picked my party, I say "no, that's something I'll do closer to the wedding date."

sarahdactyI

Thanks all! I've hidden that section of the website, great suggestion. I will be sure to ask people's permission before putting anything up. Probably don't need such a section at all, I was more concerned about people feeling left out if they get a save the date before I ask them.

Jager1219

I agree with jcbsjr.  If you want to do them, then do them!  Are they necessary?  Maybe not.  I personally spent more money on my STD than I did on my wedding invitation (not the whole suite, but the invite itself).  The reason for it is that I wanted a magnet STD and they are more expensive.  I, personally, felt that there was more value in a STD magnet that will hang on my (and most likely my friends' and family's) fridge for years to come than an invitation that will probably just get thrown out.  I have still STD magnets on my fridge from friends that got married in 2009.  But I couldn't tell you what a single one of their invitations looked like and I certainly didn't keep them.  Everyone has their own priorities.

sarahdactyI

We are going to send as soon as we finish addressing. We put them all together and stamped on the return address tonight. Fun times!  

And good to know that other people appreciate magnets!! I got some basic photo magnets from Vistaprint with a Groupon, so they weren't too expensive. Hurrah!