Bridesmaids' etiquette -- Excuses overboard?

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-etiquette-excuses-overboard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:54fe1042-564b-4923-b115-8ff22611124ePost:760eb9bb-5f24-4a8d-9fab-d4d2f92370ae">Re: Bridesmaids' etiquette -- Excuses overboard?</a>:
[QUOTE]If calling it "honest" is what makes you feel better than that's fine. But there is a way to be honest without coming off as rude and snobbish ;)
Posted by julie650[/QUOTE]

<div>Please to be quoting one thing that any reg said that was rude.</div>

julie650

I like the information, but i typically choose not to post. However, I noticed the poster becoming frustrated with the rudeness and wished to express to her that there was no point in worrying about it for that reason. And I definitely have better things to do than list all the rude things....especially when, like I said, you could simply google it. If I wanted to troll I would make an entire thread asking why people here have built such a reputation but I didn't...just reminding another member that there are bigger fish to fry since what she says literally wont matter.

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-etiquette-excuses-overboard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:54fe1042-564b-4923-b115-8ff22611124ePost:7829e772-7351-4331-adff-c6acdb6a118d">Re: Bridesmaids' etiquette -- Excuses overboard?</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the information, but i typically choose not to post. However, I noticed the poster becoming frustrated with the rudeness and wished to express to her that there was no point in worrying about it for that reason. And I definitely have better things to do than list all the rude things....especially when, like I said, you could simply google it. If I wanted to troll I would make an entire thread asking why people here have built such a reputation but I didn't...just reminding another member that there are bigger fish to fry since what she says literally wont matter.
Posted by julie650[/QUOTE]

<div>I just asked for one rude comment from this thread. That shouldn't be hard to find if all the regs are 'mean and snobbish' as you claim.</div>

julie650

Adults don't google?? Interesting. Im done since my comment wasnt even directed at you. But just remember that I'm being "blunt" and "honest" as well. Practice what you preach.

mustlovedogs26

I think she got the point when one person said its not their duty to be little worker bees but whats the point in responding to her original post when all your going to do is just repeat whats already been established, go into further detail, or just word the same message over and over.

That being said, both fiance and I were yelled at for not including his sisters in the "wedding" stuff.  I didn't make them bridesmaids because we don't see eye to eye on many things and they don't particularly care for me.  When I tried to include them with the fun stuff like cake tasting or the bachlorette party they dismissed it.  So I stopped trying and then out of the blue we got yelled at because they didn't feel included. 
Who understands them?

Ok. So you made the mistake and asked her to be a bridesmaid. It's done. Move forward and focus on the important things because looking back 5 or 10 years from now it will not matter that she acted like this with you.  In the end, its her loss not yours. So stop dwelling on it.

mustlovedogs26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-etiquette-excuses-overboard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:54fe1042-564b-4923-b115-8ff22611124ePost:8d7005ea-ce15-4d29-9ad1-5c6c6f9b5a38">Re: Bridesmaids' etiquette -- Excuses overboard?</a>:
[QUOTE]Giving people chores is not "including" them.  Why do you think asking the sisters to go to a vendor appointment (cake tasting) with you would be "fun" for them? That's dull for anyone but the couple. Lots of BRIDES find vendor appointments boring. Who yelled at you? The sisters themselves, or their parents?
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
Both. They said they did not feel included in any of the plans or meetings.  I offered myself to go shopping with them for their dresses.  & I did not demand they go tasting, I offered there is a difference. I am doing everything myself due to my fiance being overseas.  Now they are calling us up a month before the wedding asking what they can do to help, that they do not feel included, they want to be a part of the plans, etc. I don't have anything they can help with because everything is already done.  So I am at a loss at what they are asking from me.

Edited after I posted:
Just wanted to add, I am not complaining about doing everything on my own.  I have never been the type of person to need someone to do things with me. My feelings were not hurt when they declined to go with me to meet vendors. I just don't understand what they mean.

mustlovedogs26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-etiquette-excuses-overboard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:54fe1042-564b-4923-b115-8ff22611124ePost:968370d5-0f10-417c-947f-a0c5c507c273">Re: Bridesmaids' etiquette -- Excuses overboard?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, that makes sense, then.  I apologize for misunderstanding. That IS frustrating as heck. I think you're stuck with people who won't be happy regardless of what you do. Stop trying to include them or make them happy, because it's impossible. They'll find something to complain about. You've done everything you can for them and more.  Make yourself happy now.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]


Sadly I have just come to that realization. 
Thank you for the advice.