Alternative Wedding Party roles

BreaAnn

I have just started planning my wedding and am trying to figure out alternative roles for my best college girlfriends.  Rather than having 7 or more bridesmaids, I have decided to just keep it at 4 with 3 family members and my very best friend since I was little.  I still want my good friends from college to be part of my big day though.  I want them to be more involved than doing a reading or handing out programs.  Has anyone had or heard of additional roles other than bride's maids?  Something where they can be involved in the day activities and mentioned on the program as well?  Something like they are the "best girls" or "best of them" or something along those lines...

Any ideas are appreciated!  Thanks!

Manwaithiel

Bridesmaids.

Seriously. There isn't really much else than that besides readers. Handing out programs is b**** work in my opinion.

Just have them be bridesmaids. Why can't they be?

mbcdefg

Other than doing readings (or singing if they are good singers), there's really nothing that's not going to sound made-up and ridiculous.

Good friends will understand that you can't possibly include everyone you love. You run more of a risk of insulting them if you start making up titles and roles for them to try and appease them for not being bridesmaids. The more attention you call to the fact that they're not bridesmaids, the worse they're probably going to feel.

It's fine to want to include them in things. You can always invite them to hang out with you while you get dressed on the wedding day. If you are going to a salon, maybe they would want to come along and either get their hair/makeup done (as long as you don't present it as a mandatory thing - "My BMs and I are getting our hair done at X Salon, if you want to get yours done, or just hang out") or just sit with a glass of champagne and enjoy the bonding time. If you have extra money, maybe you can offer to pay for their hair/makeup/nails as a treat.

Really, though, don't overthink it. Being an invited guest to a wedding is an honor in itself. Your friends will have a nice time at your wedding without a title or a job.

aerinpegadrak

Dozens of women come to these boards asking this question every week.  Believe me, if there were some sort of alternate position that was still equal in honor, it would be common knowledge.

KaylaSue19

It's hard to choose, but if you choose to have 4 BM's then that's what you have. Your other friends can be guests, that's okay. I had 4 BM's as well, sure that left out some girls that I adore but none of them were mad or hurt that they were not BM's. Your friends will be happy for you no matter what, whether they are BM's or guests.

If in the end you feel like you need to have them be more than guests make them BM's. Manwaithial and Malphabet are right. There isn't anything else besides doing a reading.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_alternative-wedding-party-roles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:5564e876-755f-43b7-9841-2c0c042a7440Post:d52f3288-7e63-4262-ac64-b9b6916da89b">Alternative Wedding Party roles</a>:
[QUOTE]I have just started planning my wedding and am trying to figure out alternative roles for my best college girlfriends.  Rather than having 7 or more bridesmaids, I have decided to just keep it at 4 with 3 family members and my very best friend since I was little.  I still want my good friends from college to be part of my big day though.  I want them to be more involved than doing a reading or handing out programs.  Has anyone had or heard of additional roles other than bride's maids?  Something where they can be involved in the day activities and mentioned on the program as well?  Something like they are the "best girls" or "best of them" or something along those lines... Any ideas are appreciated! :)  Thanks!
Posted by BreaAnn[/QUOTE]

You have to draw the line somewhere. Honestly, you can't really add in any other roles besides being a BM. But being a guest at a wedding is an honour as well. If you don't want them as BMs, just include them in the wedding by inviting them.

jagore08

Guest.  If they're not a BM or reader then it's a job, not an honor.  If you really want them to be a part of the day then ask if they would like to get ready with you.

bablingbrooke

Don't overestimate how much other people want a role in your wedding.  People can be close to you, thrilled for you and completely supportive of the wedding...and yet prefer to be able to wear what they want and just enjoy being a guest, rather than have a job.

I personally think that made-up roles for people so they don't feel left out expires when a person reaches high school age (if not junior high) and it isn't appropriate for adults.  If they aren't in the WP, they should just be invited as guests.  Remember that the purpose of inviting people to be in the wedding is to honor them, and giving them work to do isn't an honor.  If people are disappointed at first that they're not in the WP, they'll get over it (and if they don't, they have issues).

trix1223

Guest. 

It IS an honor, and it's not a lame, pretend, made up "honor".