When to tell bridesmaids

[Deleted User]

So our wedding is a while away. October 26 2014.
When do i tell my girls i would like them to be my bridemaids? Do i wait until 2014 or do i tell them now? I would like to send them a lovely letter invite in the mail explaining my reason i picked them as my bridesmaids. I am so gitty and excited to do this but i have one fear. What if i do this too soon. When is too soon? HELP

itzMS

Wait until 2014. 23 months is an incredibly long time and so many things can change.

9-10 months before is probably the ideal time, especially because your wedding isn't during a busy time of year.

mandi195

There are so many stories on these boards about people picking wedding party members and then regretting it later. And every time it's "we were BFF's" or "she's my sister!" but really, until you're 6-10 months or so from the wedding, you really shouldn't be asking anyone yet. I know its' exciting and all, but you'll save yourself so many potential headaches by waiting.
Also, congrats on your engagement!

AddieCake

Yes, definitely wait until you are under the year mark.

SJM7538

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-tell-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:579236dd-b6fc-4181-901c-a37cf45f7532Post:a8bd3574-e155-4264-b0cd-8dba9eb9ff89">Re: When to tell bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>There are so many stories on these boards about people picking wedding party members and then regretting it later. And every time it's "we were BFF's" or "she's my sister!" but really, until you're 6-10 months or so from the wedding, you really shouldn't be asking anyone yet.</strong> I know its' exciting and all, but you'll save yourself so many potential headaches by waiting. Also, congrats on your engagement!
Posted by mandi195[/QUOTE]

<strong>THIS! THIS! THIS! I</strong> was one of those girls and it was a mess because I chose two friends who I am closer with than two that I've known longer but not quite as close with as I used to be. I should have waited - lesson learned! I mean I would have chosen the same two either way but it was drama that could have been avoided.

Everything is fine now, we've talked and worked it out. But it was unnecessary. Don't say anything until the 6-10 month time frame.

MyNameIsNot

Ask (don't tell) them somewhere around New Year's 2014.  

I would rethink asking them by mail.  While it's sweet, won't you be sad that you didn't get to share that moment with them?  Would you consider asking in person and then giving them or reading them the letter?

tonyadombrowski

Def wait... Im getting married Oct 2013 and I've only asked 2 people. I have 3 more to go and Im waiting unitl have the new year comes.. So many things can happen especially in 2 years. Def wait, youll be even more excited and gitty if you do!

HobokensFury

It's way too early. We picked a bridal party 22 months in advance and wound up with a best man that neither one of us really talked to anymore.  We have not seen/heard from him since our wedding day.

[Deleted User]

Thank you ladies so much! I really dont want to tell anyone, (due to life changing events uou never know will happen) even though I am so excited, but this really helped me make up my mind! Ill keep it hush hush for now. Thanks for the replys and experience based answers too! Sabrina

gailpete

OP- good idea.  Also remember the PPs comment that you should ASK your bridesmaids to be in your wedding party, not TELL them they are in your wedding party.

s-aries8990

I agree with PP's wait until the New years 2014 at the earliest. Friendships change in 2 years, as I'm sure you've had happen!

Stina51286

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-tell-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:579236dd-b6fc-4181-901c-a37cf45f7532Post:29c77b6a-88aa-4edb-a6ee-c6836ee1f61f">Re: When to tell bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you ladies so much!<strong> I really dont want to tell anyone,</strong> (due to life changing events uou never know will happen) even though I am so excited, but this really helped me make up my mind! Ill keep it hush hush for now. Thanks for the replys and experience based answers too! Sabrina
Posted by BunnieBride143[/QUOTE]

You are NOT telling anyone, you are ASKING!

FloridaMichelle

I asked mine way too soon!  I think if it's someone like a sister, future sister in law, or other relative like a cousin then you can ask them whenever.  Your relationship with them may have hard times but on your wedding day they're still your family.  

AmberNEnglish

Does this change (the rule about waiting until 9-10 months out) when your wedding, and wedding events...and heck for that matter...Bridal Party, are all spread across the country? My wedding will be one place, shower/bachelorette in another, and only one (potential) BM lives where the wedding will take place. While I don't expect everyone to travel to the various events, I fear some of my (possible) BM's might feel slighted if I don't ask them in enough time to plan properly to be in as much of the action as possible (engagement party..etc.) I'm about 16-18 months out...depending on the date we settle on in 2014!

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-tell-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:579236dd-b6fc-4181-901c-a37cf45f7532Post:701ab99e-e61d-4240-8695-5ccfed3c9fe2">Re: When to tell bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait until 2014. 23 months is an incredibly long time and so many things can change. 9-10 months before is probably the ideal time,<strong> especially because your wedding isn't during a busy time of year.
</strong>Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

September and October are very very very busy wedding months in many coastal cities.  In the bay area, the summer is foggy and often chilly. September is the busiest wedding month of the year.  I imagine Florida in October has perfect weather, which would make it a very busywedding month.  June, July & August aren't the "high" wedding season in all geographic locations.

OP, I would wait until the 8 month mark to ask your BMs.  Most BM dresses can be ordered  in about 2-5 months.  I would ask around February of 2014.