Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out.

sarahkevinwells

Geez ALL of you sound mean!

ally_jade

Wow. Way too harsh ladies...."You sound like a horrible person" Really? For one choice in life? Sucks to have those life standards.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-calling-lawyer-after-being-asked-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:57fb658e-fe79-4d18-84d1-d3c9fc311020Post:1a0fac60-cebe-48f4-9dea-ad79fab96de4">Re: Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out.</a>:
[QUOTE]Geez ALL of you sound mean!
Posted by sarahkevinwells[/QUOTE]


I beg to differ.  There were several replies which were not mean in the least. 

immaeetu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-calling-lawyer-after-being-asked-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:57fb658e-fe79-4d18-84d1-d3c9fc311020Post:1a0fac60-cebe-48f4-9dea-ad79fab96de4">Re: Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out.</a>:
[QUOTE]Geez ALL of you sound mean!
Posted by sarahkevinwells[/QUOTE]
You sound like a whiner.

<em>Geeeeeeeze.</em>

jilld82

Whiners are wieners.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-calling-lawyer-after-being-asked-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:57fb658e-fe79-4d18-84d1-d3c9fc311020Post:14484527-b57d-4d62-885b-67711d857ccf">Re: Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out.</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow. Way too harsh ladies...."You sound like a horrible person" Really? For one choice in life? Sucks to have those life standards.
Posted by ally_jade[/QUOTE]

You don't think she sounds like a horrible person?  I bet you'd think differently if you were the bridesmaid she kicked out for not responding to her 50 calls a day after spending $300 on a dress.

It doesn't suck to have standards of common decency.  She sounds like a bitchy bridezilla and should pay for the dress.

deepcovejackie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-calling-lawyer-after-being-asked-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:57fb658e-fe79-4d18-84d1-d3c9fc311020Post:1a0fac60-cebe-48f4-9dea-ad79fab96de4">Re: Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out.</a>:
[QUOTE]Geez ALL of you sound mean!
Posted by sarahkevinwells[/QUOTE]

Captain save-a-newb, right on schedule.  Reporting to duty to lieutenant fire-a-bridesmaid.

Hatsumomo7

Okay firstly the previous posters have a point in saying that the OP should pay the bridesmaid back for her dress if she is choosing to kick her out. I'm sorry, OP, but that is only right considering she bought the dress to be in your wedding and you are removing her. HOWEVER! I can see how you would be concerned about her and how she hasn't been responding to any of your messages, and I think alot of the previous women were also hasty to call you a bridezilla just because you wanted some sort of reply from her and it WASNT just you, you said that your bridesmaids haven't been able to get ahold of her either and that would be a concern if your bridesmaids are throwing you a shower/bachelorette party.

Yeah, a bridesmaids job is to buy a dress and show up, I agree! But if you're friends are needing her to help out and meet up, and if you need to be able to get a hold of her for important info for your wedding then you had a right to be concerned. Removing her as a bridesmaid is not something you do via email however. I believe that was a little hasty on your part. You could have visited her in person, even if unnanounced to tell her your concerns about her reliability in whatever you guys are planning before booting her.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-calling-lawyer-after-being-asked-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:57fb658e-fe79-4d18-84d1-d3c9fc311020Post:7a874b85-2a02-46ac-ba0b-478596d086de">Re: Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out.</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay firstly the previous posters have a point in saying that the OP should pay the bridesmaid back for her dress if she is choosing to kick her out. I'm sorry, OP, but that is only right considering she bought the dress to be in your wedding and you are removing her. HOWEVER! I can see how you would be concerned about her and how she hasn't been responding to any of your messages, and I think alot of the previous women were also<strong> hasty to call you a bridezilla </strong>just because you wanted some sort of reply from her and it WASNT just you, you said that your bridesmaids haven't been able to get ahold of her either and that would be a concern if your bridesmaids are throwing you a shower/bachelorette party. Yeah, a bridesmaids job is to buy a dress and show up, I agree! <strong>But if you're friends are needing her to help out and meet up, and if you need to be able to get a hold of her for important info for your wedding then you had a right to be concerned. Removing her as a bridesmaid is not something you do via email however. I believe that was a little hasty on your part. You could have visited her in person, even if unnanounced to tell her your concerns about her reliability in whatever you guys are planning before booting her.</strong>
Posted by Hatsumomo7[/QUOTE]

Removing her as a bridesmaid isn't something you do because someone isnt responding to anyones calls.  It's a bridezilla move to kick someone out of your WP for ANY reason other than her trying to kill you, sleep with your FI, etc.

So yes...she is a BRIDEZILLA no matter how you try to justify it.  It's a bitch move, ergo, the OP is a bitch.  Sorry.

Ghoti

Let us know when you're on Judge Judy OP. I'd LOVE to see her hand you your ass in a bag. 

Pay your ex-friend back for the dress, see if the store will take it on a credit or something and buy your bridezilla-self something shiny.

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-calling-lawyer-after-being-asked-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:57fb658e-fe79-4d18-84d1-d3c9fc311020Post:14959db5-ce1b-4efc-b235-a5914ff91f0c">Re: Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out. : Captain save-a-newb, right on schedule.  Reporting to duty to lieutenant fire-a-bridesmaid.
Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]
For the win!

banana468

Guys, please remember you can attack the behavior but not the person.  I know I'm not on here all the time but please just remember what is and isn't OK on the boards.

That said, OP, everyone has a point.  Your friend bought a dress and you kicked her out??  Why?   What's the worst that would have happened if she just didn't show?

Yes, you do owe her for the dress.  Either apologize and see if she'll still be in the wedding or pay her back.

cowgirlkitkatt

wow really? i guess i read your post differant than anyone else. if you couldnt get ahold of her through a period of time i would of done the same thing. you said it wasnt just you she was ignoring. is being a bridesmaid really ONLY about buying a dress and show up? i hope not because im expecting more than that from my girls.

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-calling-lawyer-after-being-asked-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:57fb658e-fe79-4d18-84d1-d3c9fc311020Post:3f564987-5a7f-456d-ac7b-49fb82db31e4">Re: Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out.</a>:
[QUOTE]wow really? i guess i read your post differant than anyone else. if you couldnt get ahold of her through a period of time i would of done the same thing. you said it wasnt just you she was ignoring. <em><strong>is being a bridesmaid really ONLY about buying a dress and show up? i hope not because im expecting more than that from my girls.
</strong></em>Posted by cowgirlkitkatt[/QUOTE]

Basically....yes.  Of course you want them to be there to help with the planning process but you should not EXPECT anything from them.

What exactly are you "expecting" from them?

Kicking someone out of the WP is a pretty serious thing....like ready to end friendship kind of thing. If your BM's dont live up to your "expectations" are you going to kick them out too?

cowgirlkitkatt

i expect moral suporrt and help doing things (when they can) like decorating the place the day before. but yes you better believe i expect them to provide some moral support and for them to tell me it will happen and it will be ok. do i also expect them to tell me to shut up some times yes but i wouldnt ask them anything i wouldnt do myself if the situation were reversed.

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-calling-lawyer-after-being-asked-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:57fb658e-fe79-4d18-84d1-d3c9fc311020Post:73d5aaf8-7e8f-43d6-bedb-e81a237348a9">Re: Bridesmaid calling a lawyer after being asked out.</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>i expect</strong> moral suporrt and help doing things (when they can) like decorating the place the day before. but yes <strong>you better believe i expect</strong> them to provide some moral support and for them to tell me it will happen and it will be ok. do <strong>i also expect</strong> them to tell me to shut up some times yes but i wouldnt ask them anything i wouldnt do myself if the situation were reversed.
Posted by cowgirlkitkatt[/QUOTE]

You missed the whole point!  You shouldnt "expect" ANYthing from your BM's.  These ladies are your close friends and/or family....not puppets.

Is this before or after you give them the BM's Survival Kits?  Make sure you dont forget the booze ;)

steffibee

This is not legal advice.
No lawyer is going to take this case, it just wouldn't be worth it. I'm sure an hour of fees would cost more than the dress. She could take you to small claims court and you would both show up and argue your side in front of the judge. If you lose, you'll have a judgment on your record which hurts your credit score for 7 years. The judgment could go either way, but it's probably not worth the risk for you, and she just has some court fees to lose. I mediate small claims cases and see these kind of "fallen friendship" cases all the time.

You could call her bluff and wait for her to drop the issue, risk a small claims action, or just pay her for the dress. Open communication would probably get you the farthest. Perhaps she wants an apology or reentry to your bridal party more than payment.

Perhaps you could pay for the dress and keep it? Maybe you could wear it to someone else's wedding as a guest.

Matty143

Wow. Why is it that I see the same people posting the rudest comments on every post?
People are allowed to be a little disappointed in how their "friends" are acting, you dont have to be an ugly internet troll to them.

I didnt think this site was created to bully anyone who dares to post a comment.
I thought it was to chat about weddings, which GOD FORBID you ask someone in you WP to do!
It sounds like you guys dont have great friends who want to share with you, you really do just expect them to show up that day.. have fun with that!

UGH! Is there  classy bride section where I can chat and not read all of your ugly posts?

Matty143

Thank you for this. I am new to this site and seriously considering leaving for good.
I can be as snarky and rude as some of these "ladies" but choose not to on here. I come to this to chat about weddings, not try to out bitch eachother.

LD1970

Actually, there are attorneys who'd take a small claims case; I see it all the time.  In many jurisdictions, if the defendant (OP in this case) loses, she'll be on the hook for the plaintiff's (her bridesmaid) counsel fees as well as the reimbursement.  And filing fees and service fees too.

And this:  "provide some moral support and for them to tell me it will happen and it will be ok" is insane.  If you're that unsure of your fiance, you shouldn't be getting married.