MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION

Cottontail25

I have created a group on Facebook for all of the Bridesmaids and Mother of the Bride and Groom.  Just about everyone except two of my bridesmaids have been on the group page and everyone accpet the group and the wedding is in less than three months.  I am not even sure she wants to be a Bridesmaid any more.  I have asked to speak to her, but she wont return my calls or text.  I havent been rude or impolite to her-whats the deal?

kmmssg

She may have something very private and overwhelming going on in her life.  Can you go see her?

itzMS

Does she have her bridesmaid dress?

That's really the only thing you should be concerned about.

She doesn't have to have her life revolve around your wedding and cater to your every need and Facebook conversation.

vanityink

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_major-lack-of-communication?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:586fa5e3-920f-44d2-a656-8a7ab3fa5f25Post:dc77c401-747c-4e33-8874-67c9127dbc2b">MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION</a>:
[QUOTE]I have created a group on Facebook for all of the Bridesmaids and Mother of the Bride and Groom.  Just about everyone except two of my bridesmaids have been on the group page and everyone accpet the group and the wedding is in less than three months.  I am not even sure she wants to be a Bridesmaid any more.  I have asked to speak to her, but she wont return my calls or text.  I havent been rude or impolite to her-whats the deal?
Posted by Cottontail25[/QUOTE]

Is she on Facebook often? I have one bridesmaid we had to track down (after we realized she wasn't responding to the group messages I'd sent out about getting dresses) and it turned out she had deleted the old facebook account and replaced it with a new one (and so wasn't getting the messages). It might not be as dramatic as that, but if she's the type not to be on Facebook a ton, it's possible it's just missed her/she looked at the notification, got distracted, and hasn't been back on as far as that goes.

For the calls and texts, I'd be worried something is up in her life that's causing her problems. It's difficult, but I would be as understanding as possible in this case.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_major-lack-of-communication?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:586fa5e3-920f-44d2-a656-8a7ab3fa5f25Post:dc77c401-747c-4e33-8874-67c9127dbc2b">MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION</a>:
[QUOTE]I have created a group on Facebook for all of the Bridesmaids and Mother of the Bride and Groom.  Just about everyone except two of my bridesmaids have been on the group page and everyone accpet the group and the wedding is in less than three months.  I am not even sure she wants to be a Bridesmaid any more.  I have asked to speak to her, but she wont return my calls or text.  I havent been rude or impolite to her-whats the deal?
Posted by Cottontail25[/QUOTE]

As long as she has the dress, that is all that she needs to do.  When is the last time you talked to her about what is going on in her life and left wedding talk 100% out of the conversation.  She may be sick of talking about your wedding.

freebread03

I don't think you can judge based on Facebook messages--I only go on FB on my iPhone, and even then, mostly when I'm on the metro, so i usually don't type long messages on there, etc.  Is there a reason you can't just email her?

[Deleted User]

FI goes on facebook maybe once every 6 months. People have tried to get in touch with him that way and he has no idea until months later - it's not a personal slight, he just hates facebook.

Can you go see her? Or email? She could be going through something, as PPs have said, which is making her unreachable by phone. Or she could have gotten a new phone number and just forgot to send out an FYI to everyone. You just might want to see what's up with her in general before asking her if she wants to leave your wedding party...if she hasn't meant the slight, that might really offend her.

HobokensFury

I don't understand what you even made a FB page for your wedding, yet alone why you are upset that someone didn't join the group.

Lisa50

Maybe nothing is wrong with her.  Perhaps she just doesn't want to play out the pre-wedding phases online. Or ... maybe she just doesn't like Facebook. *gasp*

Have you considered it may not be fair to expect a your attendants to interface on social media?  When is the last time you picked up the phone to talk to her? 

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_major-lack-of-communication?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:586fa5e3-920f-44d2-a656-8a7ab3fa5f25Post:001815e0-e21b-4db1-bc5d-7ee81ea62cdd">Re: MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand what you even made a FB page for your wedding, yet alone why you are upset that someone didn't join the group.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  A facebook group for your WP is ridiculous.  </div><div>
</div><div>If you need something from her, pick up the phone and call her.  Otherwise, as long as she gets her dress, leave her alone.  </div>

Cottontail25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_major-lack-of-communication?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:586fa5e3-920f-44d2-a656-8a7ab3fa5f25Post:f09d595d-2157-4d99-9ed5-81b005ca2d46">Re: MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION : This.  A facebook group for your WP is ridiculous.   If you need something from her, pick up the phone and call her.  Otherwise, as long as she gets her dress, leave her alone.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]




Ok here goes- this month has been really rough on myself and my fiance. WE are three months from the wedding and he went into major surgery. Due to our bills and only one income coming in I temporarily turned off my phone.

In addition I have been planning the wedding since January and I call my bridesmaids to talk about what is going on with them and rarely talked about the wedding. I called and texted all of my bridesmaids and told them about the phone situation. She(the bridesmaid I am talking about) responded that she got it.

The page I created two weeks ago was to pass on the Davids bridal coupon for their discount on the dresses and shoes so they could all be on the same page. As far as the frequency of her FB, she is constantly on it and I got the ok from everyone in the party that doing this would help out especially since my and fiancee family are from out of state and out of country. Is there anything else I need to explain. I came on here for supportand understanding from other brides maybe in the same situation or similar.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_major-lack-of-communication?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:586fa5e3-920f-44d2-a656-8a7ab3fa5f25Post:c1bd3af4-7757-4e60-8e43-409fae9cd993">Re: MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION :


Ok here goes- this month has been really rough on myself and my fiance. WE are three months from the wedding and he went into major surgery. Due to our bills and only one income coming in I temporarily turned off my phone.

In addition I have been planning the wedding since January and I call my bridesmaids to talk about what is going on with them and rarely talked about the wedding. I called and texted all of my bridesmaids and told them about the phone situation. She(the bridesmaid I am talking about) responded that she got it.

The page I created two weeks ago was to pass on the Davids bridal coupon for their discount on the dresses and shoes so they could all be on the same page. As far as the frequency of her FB, she is constantly on it and I got the ok from everyone in the party that doing this would help out especially since my and fiancee family are from out of state and out of country. Is there anything else I need to explain. I came on here for supportand understanding from other brides maybe in the same situation or similar.
Posted by Cottontail25[/QUOTE]


What exactly is your complaint? And does she have the dress info or not?

Further, if you're requiring them to buy specific shoes it's your job to pay for them.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_major-lack-of-communication?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:586fa5e3-920f-44d2-a656-8a7ab3fa5f25Post:c1bd3af4-7757-4e60-8e43-409fae9cd993">Re: MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION : Ok here goes- this month has been really rough on myself and my fiance. WE are three months from the wedding and he went into major surgery. Due to our bills and only one income coming in I temporarily turned off my phone. In addition I have been planning the wedding since January and I call my bridesmaids to talk about what is going on with them and rarely talked about the wedding. I called and texted all of my bridesmaids and told them about the phone situation. She(the bridesmaid I am talking about) responded that she got it. The page I created two weeks ago was to pass on the Davids bridal coupon for their discount on the dresses and shoes so they could all be on the same page. As far as the frequency of her FB, she is constantly on it and I got the ok from everyone in the party that doing this would help out especially since my and fiancee family are from out of state and out of country. Is there anything else I need to explain. I came on here for supportand understanding from other brides maybe in the same situation or similar.
Posted by Cottontail25[/QUOTE]

She still might not check group/event requests. I don't. 90% of them are some political BS I don't want to deal with. I've definitely missed other, actual plans because of it. Even if you don't have a phone, why not email her directly? Or borrow a phone? Or go to a call shop? I just think that facebook is a very shoddy form of communication, even if people are on it constantly.

Also, I'm also confused about the issue with the dress and all. Is it that she hasn't gotten the dress? Because if it's just about not using the coupon or responding about it - that's her loss. She'll have to pay full price. OR, again, if she missed the memo, she'd probably appreciate a heads up to go look for it.

Peledreamsofrain

Ditto me for being confused. Also, it is possible that she's like me in that I WILL 100 always keep my word and move heaven and earth to make my promises stick. I won't talk about what i'm doing to make that happen, because I don't like inconveniencing people, or being distracted from my goal by chitter chatter. Just because someone isn't giving you a constant update on their every movement doesn't mean they're just sitting around and doing nothing.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_major-lack-of-communication?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:586fa5e3-920f-44d2-a656-8a7ab3fa5f25Post:c1bd3af4-7757-4e60-8e43-409fae9cd993">Re: MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MAJOR LACK OF COMMUNICATION : Ok here goes- this month has been really rough on myself and my fiance. WE are three months from the wedding and he went into major surgery. Due to our bills and only one income coming in I temporarily turned off my phone. In addition I have been planning the wedding since January and I call my bridesmaids to talk about what is going on with them and rarely talked about the wedding. I called and texted all of my bridesmaids and told them about the phone situation. She(the bridesmaid I am talking about) responded that she got it. The page I created two weeks ago was to pass on the Davids bridal coupon for their discount on the dresses and shoes so they could all be on the same page. As far as the frequency of her FB, she is constantly on it and I got the ok from everyone in the party that doing this would help out especially since my and fiancee family are from out of state and out of country. Is there anything else I need to explain. I came on here for supportand understanding from other brides maybe in the same situation or similar.
Posted by Cottontail25[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm sorry that you are in a difficult finncial situation, but that doesn't make FB groups for wedding parties any less ridiculous.  The fact that you are in a difficult financial spot does not mean she needs to change her behavior, or that you get a pass.  </div><div>
</div><div>If you can't borrow a phone to call her, send her an email with the coupon for her dress.  As someone else mentioned, if you are requiring specific shoes, you are responsible for purchasing them.  (In light of your money troubles, this would be a good thing to cut.)  </div><div>
</div><div>I don't understand why you think she needs to be in constant communication with you about this.  Buying a dress is not that difficult and doesn't need more than one or two sentences.  

</div>