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1900katie

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bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dissed-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:58d11a6d-241e-4ea9-95e2-ff53f6e25acdPost:8b612329-f04b-48f5-a48e-ab0d0069be03">dissed by a flower girl!</a>:
[QUOTE]so... i thought two flower girls would be nice, my neice and his neice, his neice (10 yr) said yes (to our surprise), and we are delighted. but my neice (8yr).. my sweet, adorable, well-mannered little angel made a face and said "im kind of over being a flower girl". ouch! my sis-in-law and brother assured me that she is just confused and they'll talk to her .. aka force her into it. i hate this. i dont want to force anyone to be in my wedding, and i definitely dont want my neice rolling her pretty little eyes at me on the big day. (she can be a little condescending for 8). i am trying to find a polite way to deal. any advice?
Posted by 1900katie[/QUOTE]
Seriously?  She's 8.  In three weeks she might not be over it anymore.  If she rolls her eyes at you during your wedding, so what--it's not like you're staring at the FG all night.  Be the adult here and think nothing of it.  I was one of those "8 going on 30" kids and I know I said silly things sometimes--no adult actually took offense, and neither should you.  <strong>She's 8</strong>.  You have no cause to be offended here.  Hope you're kidding about this, otherwise you might just be the most sensitive bride I've ever seen on here.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dissed-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:58d11a6d-241e-4ea9-95e2-ff53f6e25acdPost:8b612329-f04b-48f5-a48e-ab0d0069be03">dissed by a flower girl!</a>:
[QUOTE]so... i thought two flower girls would be nice, my neice and his neice, his neice (10 yr) said yes (to our surprise), and we are delighted. but my neice (8yr).. my sweet, adorable, well-mannered little angel made a face and said "im kind of over being a flower girl". ouch! my sis-in-law and brother assured me that she is just confused and they'll talk to her .. aka force her into it. i hate this. i dont want to force anyone to be in my wedding, and i definitely dont want my neice rolling her pretty little eyes at me on the big day. (she can be a little condescending for 8). i am trying to find a polite way to deal. any advice?
Posted by 1900katie[/QUOTE]

Speaking as someone whose parents will tell you that I was 5 going on 35, I don't think your niece is condescending.  If she's anything like me, she's just sick of people treating her like a little kid and trying as best she knows how to demonstrate her maturity.  At eight I would have considered myself about four or five years too old to be a flower girl.  I'm usually against pity positions like handing out programs but maybe she could do this instead.

tidetravel

Whenever someone around here asks if they think an X year old child is too old to be a flower girl/ring bearer, the standard response is that the kid is too old for the position if he/she feels as though he/she's too old.  In your case, she's too old. 

1900katie

i think you have misunderstood.

i am trying to find a polite way to tell my brother and my sister in law to please not force her into this.

im not upset with an 8 yr old for acting like an 8yr old... im simply trying to respect her wishes.

bablingbrooke

Gotcha, OP, thanks for clarifying.  I would just say to her parents, "You know, if Lizzie really doesn't want to do this, our feelings really won't be hurt--we want her to have fun."  They'll know if this is a phase, if your niece was just trying to be clever like the kids she sees on TV, or if she truly is "over it." 

tldh

no no no no

Don't post a question and then delete it.  That is just rude. 

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dissed-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:58d11a6d-241e-4ea9-95e2-ff53f6e25acdPost:cb33890c-fc18-4457-ad6b-e0d7945dd39a">Re: dissed by a flower girl!</a>:
[QUOTE]i think you have misunderstood. i am trying to find a polite way to tell my brother and my sister in law to please not force her into this. im not upset with an 8 yr old for acting like an 8yr old... im simply trying to respect her wishes.
Posted by 1900katie[/QUOTE]

JIC

1900katie

i was trying to delete my post because i found it was being misunderstood. if you read above you wil l see that i have no issue with my neice. see.. right up above.

1900katie

im sorry if i came across rude and childish.. i dont really know any message board ettiquette, and i didnt know deleting was not allowed. i also dont know what almost any of these abbreviations are, but i dont think that it matters.

1900katie

thank you stagemanager for your help. i apologize again for any trouble that i may have cause you. i am so embarassed that i dirty deleted.