Facebook Poll

blackfire5th

Stina's WPBP got me thinking about facebook faux pas.  Any good facebook stories?

I have one friend that is posting every step of her planning process, from photos of dress shopping, to when they are meeting with vendors, and most recently, a link to the resort they are going to for their HM.  I'm waiting for the "send me your address for the shower" and registry info to pop up.

stina93446

Blackfish, the "let me get your addresses" is mainly what the pregnant friend I have makes. I wasn't invited, but I'm not that close to her anymore....but it was weird for her to pretty much announce "give me your address, you give me gifts!" 

aerinpegadrak

I'll confess, I'm thinking about doing one of those lame Facebook groups to get everyone's addresses for our AHR.  Of course, it's a pretty big and casual party, so pretty much everyone I'm friends with is actually invited, but I feel weird about it.

I've tried to limit Facebook wedding talk, but my sister hasn't been so good about it.  I had one aunt who I wasn't inviting (I'm not inviting any of my extended family) comment on one of her posts about bridesmaid stuff asking when the wedding was.  I made sure to make a status update after that where I casually dropped in the phrase "tiny guest list"...

stina93446

Aerin, that's not lame. You're not announcing it to all 500+ friends you have. You could always make a private group, keep it hidden, only invite those that you want to invite, and then ask them to keep it hush hush.

aerinpegadrak

I might just do that.  I'm not too worried about it being hush-hush because it really is more or less open invitation, but I know people who've done the open, public group for their weddings which were neither open nor public, and I'll cop to judging them for it.  I think I'd feel hypocritcal to then do it myself, you know?

stina93446

It's totally different if you're all "it's open" about it. 

blackfire5th

I don't care much for the group e-mails.  I don't mind if someone sent me an individual one, but if there are a lot of people included, it makes me feel like you just want the gift.

Another story, the newsfeed popped up saying friend x is attending "reception"  so I clicked on it and it was an invite to someone's wedding and reception, but anyone could rsvp, I was really attempted to click that I was attending.

aerinpegadrak

Thanks for the validation.   

stina93446

haha blackfish, I totally would. The bride would look at the guest list and see someone she doesn't know....lol

People have no sense of etiquette with facebook. There are certain things you just DON'T post about. Registry info is the worst though. If people really want to brag and be AW about their registry, the most they should say in their status bar is "Going to register today with FI.....getting gun happy!" Then people will know, but not know where.

gottahavashorti

[QUOTE]I have one friend that is posting every step of her planning process, from photos of dress shopping, to when they are meeting with vendors, and most recently, a link to the resort they are going to for their HM.  I'm waiting for the "send me your address for the shower" and registry info to pop up.
Posted by blackfire5th[/QUOTE]
Someone I know is doing this, minus the actual pictures.  My sister is in the WP and suggested that this might not be a good idea because a guest list hasn't been made yet and the posts are just asking for people to assume that they are invited or ask if they're invited.

FI did post the venue on his status when we booked it but not the date and I just reminded him that it would probably be best if other WR posts weren't made so that people didn't get the wrong idea.  He asked for a few addresses in a group fb message but did a message so that it was at least private.  He has been invited to several "we need your addresses for STDs" groups that were public enough that I saw them even though I 'm not friends with the people.

lisarose7

I'm starting to be a lot more careful with my FB posts.  The night my grandmother died, I posted an RIP memoriam to her as my status because I needed my friends and coworkers to know (they knew she'd been declining) and I knew I'd be too emotional to explain it to everyone individually.  Well, one of my aunts didn't bother to tell her kids (my cousins) right away that their grandmother had died because she didn't want to ruin their vacation, and one of them saw my post before he got to talk to his mother.  I felt horrible that he had to find out about Nana's passing through FB, but he didn't hold it against me.  Now I don't post anything major until I'm 100% sure that everybody who needs to know first already knows.

saxy414

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_facebook-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:5ac3b9a0-d5a9-49dc-aea5-584f05055c8fPost:7cd31a12-8449-4efe-836b-bc9030f579e7">Re: Facebook Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Another story, the newsfeed popped up saying friend x is attending "reception"  so I clicked on it and it was an invite to someone's wedding and reception, but anyone could rsvp, I was really attempted to click that I was attending.
Posted by blackfire5th[/QUOTE]

One of my best friends was invited to a wedding through a FB mass-email.  She didn't respond because she assumed it was just the bride doing a STD type thing, and getting an estimate of who would be there.  She found out a couple months later that that WAS her official invite, and because she didn't respond there was only room for her and no date, though all the people who had responded could bring dates.

I also just saw a couple days ago that one of my friends was attending "so and so's wedding and reception".  I clicked on it, and sure enough, it was an event page for a wedding.  If it hadn't been a closed event, I would have been tempted to RSVP yes, too <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

suz62984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_facebook-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:5ac3b9a0-d5a9-49dc-aea5-584f05055c8fPost:fede2ee3-fdf6-4305-9c93-81c2a79756b5">Re: Facebook Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll confess, I'm thinking about doing one of those lame Facebook groups to get everyone's addresses for our AHR.  Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Aerin...I'm sending facebook email messages to get addresses. I don't know how else I would get some of them. I still have friends in grad school that will be moving back home or to jobs around the invitation time.

lalap69

FB drives me nuts with this stuff.  I don't have a whole lot of people committing major etiquette sins on my live feed, but probably only because most of my friends aren't married yet.

My family found out my cousin was engaged through facebook, however, and that started a huge family kerfuffle because we thought we should have been told directly.  Honestly, I was pretty hurt since this is the same cousin who had told me I was "like a sister to him" and yet.  They're having their engagement party in June (actually, I think they may be throwing it themselves), and I'm so tempted to send a "facebook gift".  Except I won't because I don't want more drama.

After we got engaged, we waited to change our relationship status on FB until after we'd made all of our phone calls and/or told people in person.  All of my friends commented on how much nicer it was to be told in person rather than finding out through FB.

aerinpegadrak

We sent out a mass text when we got engaged.  The drama of "you told someone else before me!" would have outweighed the drama of "you should have told me in person!"  We called up each of our family members individually, though.  (Well, all of mine.  His already knew.)  I've found out about friends getting engaged via Facebook, but it would be weird to find out about family that way.

bablingbrooke

One of my FB friends is updating her status every 5 minutes to try to get people to vote for her and her FI in a contest (complete with link).  I was tempted to say "Go to TK and ask the people on Chit Chat to vote for you" but I'm not that mean.

gottahavashorti

FI changed his relationship status and then accepted it from mine while I wasn't paying attention because he was so excited and had promptly called everyone. 

I hadn't been expecting the proposal for a few more months so I was letting it sink in and hadn't made calls, so i had to rush and call my parents and sister before they got on facebook. I coudln't just change it back to "in a relationship" because there wasn't an option at the time for that not to get published and it would have looked like we had broken up.

megk8oz

It's not WR, but as of midnight last night, I have what I think is a "faux pas".

For the past 2 or 3 days, my BSC friend has been randomly posting on people's walls "I have a secret, but I'm not telling anybody! :P". And knowing her, she did this to quite a few other people that we're not both friends with

After I saw she posted it on our 3rd mutual friend's wall (It was her own sister), I'm thinking "Oh, God, she's probably knocked up".

Sure enough, midnight, her profile pic turns into a sonogram photo, and she posts "My Daughter's going to be a big sister!".

Judging from the comments she received, it looks like the only people who knew prior to this was her DH and their roommate. So yes, the new baby's grandparents, aunts and uncles all found out via FB. ::face palm::