only having 3 bridesmaids & groomsmen

vmast07

is it okay to only have 3 bridesmaids & groomsmen? my fiance says i need to add 1 or 2 more bridesmaids but i dont really have anybody im really close to to add. is it ok to only have 3?

jaimed99

You can have as many, or as few, people in your WP as you like! There is no "rule" that states that you have to have a certain number of BM or GM, so do what you and your fiance think is best for you two!

gottahavashorti

Three is fine.  But is the reason that he wants you to add more BMs because he wants more GM?  It's absolutely okay to have uneven sides if he has additional friends he wants to ask.

bablingbrooke

Where is this idea coming from?

If he wants 5 GM, you don't have to add 3 BM.  You both don't have to add more to get to a "high enough" number.  My DH had 3 GM and I had 4 BM--the numbers were perfect for us but might be too high or too low for someone else, given how many close friends/family you have who you want in the WP.  There's no one-size-fits-all approach here.

lalap69

Yes, it's okay to only have 3 BM & 3 GM.  It's also okay for one of you to have more or less than that number, including 0.  I promise you will still be married.

anne.azano

I think it's a perfect number!  Too many can look over the top, in my opinion.  I was actually only going to have two because my FI is only having 2.  But, after reading all these boards about how it's ok to have uneven sides, I'm gonna have 3 and he's gonna have 2.  Do what you what with whoever is most important to you.  Don't worry about even numbers or using people to fill in the blanks.  

aerinpegadrak

If he wants 5, he should be able to have 5 without you having to ask extra people.  Uneven sides are totally fine.

jenn.daniel

I may only have 3.  My mother doesn't think that's enough, but I'm fine with it.  She'll accept it, just like your FI should accept it when you tell him you only want 3.

emilyinchile

Nope, and that's why my wedding is not valid - should have added another BM!

(In all seriousness, yes, of course it's fine. This is a silly question.)

jandowedding

We only have 3 standing on each side, and I have no qualms about it being too few or what other people "might say". My bridesmaids are the 3 most important people in my life (sister, BFF since grade school, and college BF), and I can't imagine just "tacking on" someone for the sake of making it even if my FI wanted more.

1) I would never, ever want someone to feel like they were just "added on for filler".
2) It's your wedding, and you get to make the rules (especially these days).
3) If he has additional friends that he wants to stand in the ceremony it's ok for him to have an uneven number, or you can still have them in the ceremony as ushers.

vmast07

thanks guys! & the reason he says i need to add more is bc he's got 2 "friends" he used to be close to that he wants standing up there with him, but since we've been together those guys have seemed to disappear so i dont agree i with it. is that bad?

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_only-having-3-bridesmaids-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:5e25dcc0-9171-4462-acea-9b1d6afd58efPost:fea97850-f5cb-4e65-98f1-2216282317c7">Re: only having 3 bridesmaids & groomsmen</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks guys! & the reason he says i need to add more is bc he's got 2 "friends" he used to be close to that he wants standing up there with him, but since we've been together those guys have seemed to disappear so i dont agree i with it. is that bad?
Posted by vmast07[/QUOTE]
You get to choose your side, he gets to choose his.  You shouldn't be telling him that he can't have someone stand up for him unless there's a very good reason, like they have actively tried to break the two of you up.  Let him add his two friends.  He'll have 5 and you'll have 3, and that's perfectly okay.

vmast07

they arent close friends though they havent even spoken in over 2 years. They dont agree with our relationship & they decided to choose his ex that cheated on him over him. thats why I dont agree but i guess yall are right about him choosing his sides