Overreacting or no?

alysb

thanks 

bethsmiles

If you trust your FI then you shouldn't have a problem. It really doesn't matter how she behaves if he loves you. It sounds like you don't want to be friends with this girl at all (and you shouldn't have asked her to begin with) so if you would like to completely end your relationship with her then you can un-ask her, but if you would like to avoid family drama or have any sort of friendship with her then stop caring about what she does with your exs (honestly why do you care? you are getting married) and just deal with the situation you got yourself into.

banana468

Do you trust your FI?

Has she actually indicated that she'd try something with him or are you just concerned that she'll try something with anyone?

Either way, unless you have trust issues with your FI and unless she's said, "I'm going to do him," let it go.

baystateapple

Forget the ex situation.  She is allowed to friend him on FB and comment on his pictures.  Why do you care anyway?  You're getting married to someone else.

Also, I agree with banana.  Unless she's made it clear that she's going to make a play for your FI, you need to let it go.

suz62984

You should not be getting married if you don't trust your FH. That's fine if you don't trust your BM, but not trusting her with FH tells me that the idea has crossed your mind that something might happen between them, in which case your should not be getting married.

She doesn't need to tell you every single person she makes out with. Who cares if it is an ex of yours. You guys broke up...he isn't yours.

duckie1905

so she's commenting on your ex's FB page and you are worried she'll try to sleep with your FI?

That's quite a jump.  I'm not sure why her making out with your ex=you FI cheating on you with her.

Either you trust your FI or you don't and it sure sounds like you don't.  If you don't trust him YOU SHOULD NOT BE GETTING MARRIED.  And, I'm not sure why you would care about her facebook friend-ness with your ex.

Truthfully, you sound a little silly and childish.

duckie1905

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_overreacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6060f28e-099a-4aa1-95dc-d8176589b159Post:08d2cba4-6cad-4712-ad58-0b3bcd5d63fe">Overreacting or no?</a>:
[QUOTE]One of my bridesmaids, the last one I picked actually. She's an old friend from HS who during that time was really kind of a jerk to me but she's one of those family friend type people. So my mom naturally was like you should pick her and made me feel guilty so then I asked her. Well I actually had a really really bad break up in the relationship before my fh and so I do not talk to my ex and truthfully act like he does not exist. She added him on facebook and has been commenting on his statuses and pictures! And also a couple of months ago made out while she was drunk with another one of my ex's and he actually told me (we are good friends now) and not her. I right now do not trust her with my fh because of the way she is acting with those of my past. Am I overreacting in thinking she does not need to be a bm?
Posted by alysb[/QUOTE]

CTGirl30

If you are mature enough to get married then you should be mature enough to stand up to your mother when she's pressuring to ask someone you aren't even really friends with anymore to be part of the BP. BUT since you can't unring that bell - unless you end the friendship with her, in which case that would also naturally end her involvement in your wedding - you have to deal with it.

Also....if you are mature enough to be getting married then you need to trust that your FI wouldn't take the bait even if this girl (or ANY girl) tried to put the moves on him.  Do you trust him? If the answer is yes, then good. Trust that he wouldn't betray you and don't let it bother you that this chick is talking to your ex-bfs. Who cares what your exes are up to? You have moved on, right? I hope so if you are about to marry your FI.  If you don't trust him....then you need to work that out before you tie the knot. The basis of any solid marriage (or strong friendship or relationship) is trusting the other person.

gottahavashorti

You are way overreacting.  Friending one of your exes who she may have been friends with and making out with someone else who she knows through you are not the same as trying to seduce your FI.  As PPs have said, if you trust your FI this should not be a major issue anyhow.

She should not have been a BM if you didn't want her to be a BM, but once you ask someone you cannot unask them.  Let it go.

SarahPLiz

If they are n your past, why are you worrying about them. You said she's not that good of a friend, so why are your exes not fair game? You sound very conceited to think that everyone who knows you should steer clear of your exes. Its not all about you and them anymore.

aerinpegadrak

I'm friends with a couple of my exes on Facebook.  One of them even used his discount to buy the posters for our guestbooks.  Exes don't necessarily equal evil.

DH and I trust each other completely.  If we didn't, we wouldn't have gotten married.  So his exes and current close female friends don't bother me, because I know that even if they pulled something, he would put a stop to it.  Just as I would if anyone else, whether I had a history with them or not, tried to make a move on me.

You should really work through your trust issues before the wedding, because things like that don't just go away if you ignore them.

emilyinchile

This post is just crazytown.

alysb

i wasn't trying to delete the thread. this is the first time i've ever used this and I don't know how to use it so you making fun of me is not really helpful at all. nor does it make me want to use this as a helpful resource again.

I was saying thanks to the people who responded and deleted my other explaining thread because i realized i am overreacting. Also I should not have to justify why I am deleting stuff to people or be getting criticized because I am a newbie and don't know what I am doing when it comes to posting stuff. I just realized this is at the bottom to comment on the posting.

duckie1905

Well, good thing I quoted your original post.  Feel free to c & p it back in and then write a proper thanks, now that you know what you are doing.

PeonyPrincesskdd

she can delete whatever she wants.  what relevance of it is yours.  and also some copy/pasted it.. done and over with

banana468

Peony, she can delete what she wants.

BUT  when anyone does that, s/he needs to be aware that doing so is against netiquette.  It's perceived as rude to those who took the time out to give the OP advice.

Furthermore, it doesn't allow other brides who may be in similar situations to see what the unbiased advice can be.

Free will is all around in this forum.  However with free will comes the understanding that people will make judgement based on your actions.

mishdish

You need to make your own decisions NOT your mother.  You should also trust your FH.  I think you are reading too much into everything.

Relax.