So this one time, I had too much to drink & told someone they could be a bridesmaid...

jbenbe28

I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and she's made it very clear on many occasions how upset she is when she isn't asked to be in a wedding....any wedding (be it family or friends) even if they weren't in her wedding party.  So....at my engagement party, after many glasses of champagne, she asked me if she was going to be a BM and I said something like "oh of course!"   I was clearly feeling overly friendly and spoke without thinking. I'm guessing this means she's my BM?

vicki0508

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_this-one-time-much-drink-told-someone-could-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:618a343c-1e77-418c-9c1d-2d23ab44b392Post:7bbb52da-9038-47ba-830c-e8c70cbb6bbe">So this one time, I had too much to drink & told someone they could be a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and she's made it very clear on many occasions how upset she is when she isn't asked to be in a wedding....any wedding (be it family or friends) even if they weren't in her wedding party.  So....at my engagement party, after many glasses of champagne, she asked me if she was going to be a BM and I said something like "oh of course!"   I was clearly feeling overly friendly and spoke without thinking. I'm guessing this means she's my BM?
Posted by jbenbe28[/QUOTE]
Yes, it does.

jbenbe28

Super, just thought I'd check.  Thanks

bakerie

Yup, unfortunately you're stuck.

em01092

Well it was rude of her to ask like that, but yeah, there is no nice way to say, "I had too much to drink and said yes without thinking. We really aren't that close and I didn't mean to say yes." Unfortunately you are stuck, unless you are cool with possibly ending the friendship by telling her the truth. 

jbenbe28

We're not close friends but I definitely wouldn't want to end the friendship....especially since her husband is FI's good friend and will be in the WP.  Why couldn't I have just said "Oh we haven't picked our WP yet, we're waiting until we set the date"?  I could kick myself.

staceycaine

I have the same problem, only I can't remember if I told her (YEARS ago, mind you) that she would be my MOH. She's not going to be. I mean, things change. But she WILL be in the wedding party. I really can't remember. Hopefully she can't either.

staceycaine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_this-one-time-much-drink-told-someone-could-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:618a343c-1e77-418c-9c1d-2d23ab44b392Post:f4625042-b184-4305-9898-fe0376f5c7e0">Re: So this one time, I had too much to drink & told someone they could be a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]Stacey, if it was years ago, I wouldn't bring it up unless she does.  Or she might figure it out on her own.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I don't think she will bring it up. I'm certainly going to just make a big deal about asking her to be my bridesmaid. I do think she will be hurt, but...ya know, we haven't seen each other in 15 months now. Even before that, we would see each other once a year, at best for the past 5 years. So, I am fairly certain I didn't say this when I was WITH my FI (we just celebrated our 5th year). My Matron of Honor is closer (physically and emotionally), and my Maid of Honor I work with, and have for 5 years. I still love the original girl. We just aren't as close. I hope she gets that. </div><div>
</div><div>Back to the OP--that is a little different because it was so RECENT. You know?

</div>

quiggels219

I did a similar thing - a friend that I have known forever but don't consider a good friend was sooo upset she wasn't a bridesmaid - kept bringing it up and after a few tequila shots one crazy night I agreed to let her read a poem - part of me hopes she doesn't remember - how much did your friend drink? Maybe she doesn't remember?? Otherwise you're stuck!

jbenbe28

Yeah, I totally see how it's completely different in your situation since it was years ago instead of months, in my case. 

quiggels:  She absolutely has not forgotten lol.  I'll just have to be careful with not sharing ideas and things, as she is opinionated without being asked.  For example, I mentioned that FI and I are planning on doing most of our photos pe-ceremony.  She made a pretty big deal about it being "weird" and didn't understand why I "don't want it to be a surprise and special when I walk down the aisle." Then, she says something like "oh, but if that's what yoooou want."  It's the same thing when someone says "no offense" or "not to be rude" and then says something offensive or rude.  Blah, just a vent.  I know I'm not required to share wedding plans with her.  The annoying thing is I really only wanted 4 BMs and, if I have to have 5, I can think of 10 other people I'm closer with.

rebarobert2012

Unfortunately, yes, this means that she is your bridesmaid now.

misstomrstodr

This actually happened to me once when I was very tipsy on vacation in Georgia with a couple of friends. (this was before I was even engaged! May 2010 and I was engaged August 2011) I regretted asking her once I was sober because I always imagined my BP being small.... her and I had a falling out though so I'm not worried about this anymore. Unfortunately, in your case, as everyone has mentioned, if you want to retain the friendship, you're stuck!

VirgoBella

Yes but if you don't want her in your wedding then I highly recommend telling her nicely, in person. Trust me, now is better than later!