Wedding Party
Options

way to include BIL?

My sister is my MOH. I hadn't thought about her husband doing anything during the ceremony - I figured he'd sit with his mom and dad, or maybe with the husbands of my other bridemaids - but my mother asked if I would think about a way to include him. She compared it to my having my FSIL in my bridal party, saying that I didn't know her well but was willing to include her because she is a part of FI's family.

To me, that comparison isn't valid at all. My FI grew up living with, playing with, and babysitting his half sister. My BIL, who don't get me wrong I think is a cool person, married into the family a few years ago. I don't think there's any expectation there that he "should" be included in the wedding party.

My FI is having only a best man - his younger half brother - and no groomsmen. So I don't feel comfortable asking him to include my BIL in his party. They hung out one afternoon while my sister and I went dress shopping, and that's it.

However, if someone has a suggestion about somthing BIL can do that would include him as part of the family, I'd be open to it. My initial thought was that he could be an usher and maybe walk with my sister until she reached halfway down the aisle and then go sit down, but then I read that the MOH is always supposed to walk alone?
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: way to include BIL?

  • Options
    "Guest" is a great way to include someone. Otherwise, wedding party or reader are the only roles that really mean anything in a wedding.
    image
  • Options
    Your mom needs to butt out, since it's not her wedding. Just say, "Thanks but we've already decided on the party" and leave it alone. Not everyone needs to have a special role. And like PP said, there's nothing wrong with being a guest.

    You could get him, and other immediate family members, boutonnieres if you want. You don't have to, but it's an idea. And obviously include him in all the family photos.

    He could do a reading.

    but then I read that the MOH is always supposed to walk alone

    That's not a solid rule. You can do whatever you'd like.
    image
  • Options
    My  future BIL  is not going to be in the wedding party, but he is going to be an usher and then making sure presents get put in the right place and that everyone signs the guest book. My BIL didnt want to wear a tux. so i told him that he has to usher LOL
  • Options
    I'm not sure why people always say not to have a guest book attendant!!! Or greeters!!! Idk about anyone else but I always enjoyed doing that!!! I enjoy greeting people and talking to people. So I enjoy it!!! I have never felt stupid telling people hello and talking to them!!! Just my thought!!! And ya don't give them that position just to INCLUDE them!!! That's the wrong reason!!!! Everytime I've done it. It was a suprise that they thought of me that way!!!
    image 500 Invited! image 300 Ready to party! image 28 Party Poopers! image 172 MIA!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_way-include-bil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:63dbafaa-f4cc-444d-bacb-8384628ae76bPost:05b33328-1ea7-4993-b39b-509c1a4eb868">Re: way to include BIL?</a>:
    [QUOTE] And ya don't give them that position just to INCLUDE them!!! That's the wrong reason!!!! Posted by DeeDee00[/QUOTE]

    What?


    I mean ...

    What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    image
  • Options
    Why would u give someone a position because u feel bad for not including them anywhere else!!!! And I have never sat there and said please pick up the pen and sign the book!!! U cordially greet people. Welcome them. And if they have any questions u answer them. Do y'all not talk to people? Say hello? Ask how people are doing? What do u do? Just walk by them and act stuck up?
    image 500 Invited! image 300 Ready to party! image 28 Party Poopers! image 172 MIA!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    My sister's husband willl not be an usher, but he is going to be the one to seat my mom  (FI will seat his mom). This was what felt right for us, for his part in my family :)

    HTH
  • Options
    And, my mother just emailed me AGAIN asking why my FI can't have BIL as a groomsman. She is just not giving up. I'm going to have to call her up and very nicely tell her that FI is not adding people he barely knows just to please her.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    Since my father is walking *me* down the aisle, we are having my BIL walk my mother down. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards