XP: Flapper is back

mkrupar

Remember the girl who called the cops on her FI because he choked her and left marks on her neck and was devastated that he was arrested even though she didn't want to press charges. She's back on ChitChat venting about his family not wanting to listen to her when she just wants to wish them a Merry Christmas. I don't have any other advice to give her, but you ladies are normally good at things like this.

Clicky

[Deleted User]

Oh yeah, I remember reading that thread, but I never responded.

megk8oz

I feel so bad for that girl. But I really don't have advice for her anymore. I'm not judging her for "staying", because Lord knows how many times I went back to my ex before I finally broke it off for good ... but there is no "good advice" to give somebody choosing to stay on how to cope in the situation. The only advice always is: get out and get help.

I know she's not going to leave until she's ready (But she really needs to, there is no fixing that relationship) ... but she needs to understand, now that it's pretty much "public knowledge" in the families that their relationship is toxic, there's bound to be some bad blood over it. I'm sure her family isn't exactly rolling out the welcome mat for him either right now.

MyNameIsNot

Does it make me really cynical that I'm starting to question whether or not she is real?

megk8oz

I'm not going to lie, MNIN, I have been debating that lately-something seems ... off.

But I keep trying to help in case she is real.

mkrupar

I had the same thought MNIN (briefly), but like Meg said. You'd hate to ignore it in the chance that she is real.

MyNameIsNot

Of course, and honestly, I'd feel kinda bad if she knew that I thought she might not be real.  

But something about it seems off.  Like her refusal to acknowledge the overwhelming number of people that told her to leave.  I feel like if she was real, she'd either get defensive about it and explain that we don't see how good he is or address it somehow.  

I don't know, my experience with domestic violence has only been from the legal world, after the victims have already resolved to get help.  Maybe I'm delusional.  

AutumnFair

Real or not, there might be a possibility of another Bride out there is a similar situation (a lurker). Actually there was a thread a number of months ago on I think Etiquette where it was a Bride who had a sister in an abusive relationship. So when one of these posts comes up that even if the OP is real or not, the topic still remains for people to see and maybe get something out of it.  I've had family who has experience the loss of their daughter/granddaughter from being in an abusive relationship, sadly, that is what happens when you just can't get people to see the true nature of the ***hole in time.

aerinpegadrak

The whole thing really makes me sad.  And the kind of scary thing is that if this is real and something does happen to her, we'd have no way of knowing.  Stupid internet. 

megk8oz

Yeah, that's actually what's "off" to me. She's not defending him, she's just saying "But I love him, and I know he loves me" ... and that's if she responds at all. Mostly she just kind of posts whatever her drama is ... and then disappears.

People who consistently post and run make me wary.