Maid of Honor question

kimmybennett

My Maid of Honor sent me an email saying, "I think should you choose someone else to be the Maid of Honor." There was no explanation, she wouldn't tell me what was going on at all. Should I assume that she still wants to be a bridesmaid? Or is it safe to assume she no longer wants to participate in the wedding?

SarahPLiz

Don't assume anything. I would think that as a friend, you should call her and see what is going on. Does she think she can't deliver something you expect (or she thinks you expect)? Are there financial difficulties? Does she not support your wedding for some reason?

It is very possible that she thinks you will expect her to host a shower and/or bachelorette and perhaps she is not comfortable doing that. She may also not be able to do it financially.

Call her and see what is up. She is your friend first, and MOH is just another title on top of that. Remember to treat her as a friend and show the same amount of care and concern for her that you would if she wasn't your MOH.

LarissaAnn

Do you think maybe one of the other bridesmaids is giving her a hard time about something and she doesn't want to tell you?  Do you have a sister who's a bridesmaid who thinks she should've been MOH?

kimmybennett

I'm guessing that she is going through something personal, but she won't talk to me about it. She hasn't talked to me for the last 2 months. Finances aren't an issue and I don't have a sister. 

SarahPLiz

You wedding is not until July, and you don't HAVE to have an MOH.
If there is something personal going on, its important to let her know that you are there for her, wedding or not, because you are friends. Make sure she knows that you want her to be there, and then let it be. Perhaps in the next few months, she will open up to you.

In any case, always treat her like a friend. Also, if you choose to make someone else MOH, think about how they will feel being a replacement, not being chosen first. Personally, I wouldn't replace her.

mbcdefg

If she hasn't spoken to you in two months, something is DEFINITELY up. Call her and ask what's wrong ... and don't bring up the MOH position or the wedding, because this is a friendship issue and not a wedding issue.

And if she won't answer your calls, show up on her doorstep if you can. If you want to keep the friendship, get to the root of the problem. If you aren't close enough to visit her, and she won't answer your calls, I'd suggest calling someone close to her - parent, sibling, boyfriend, etc. - and ask if she's O.K.

I've known people who appeared to be rolling in dough, but then later I found out that they were actually in debt up to their eyeballs while they were spending all this money.  So I would be very careful to say that money is not the problem.

Did you guys have a fight two months ago? Did she get a new job or boyfriend, or lose a job/boyfriend? Do you think you could've accidentally said or done something to upset her?

Good luck, I hope she tells you what's wrong.

banana468

I would definitely say, "I'm not even thinking about the wedding now.  What's going on??"

I hope everything is OK.

emilyinchile

Friend issue first. Wedding aside, it's weird that your best friend won't talk to you and hasn't talked to you in two months. Try to figure out what's going on. If she refuses to talk, I'd probably say that you're worried about her and that whatever she's dealing with, you know your wedding isn't her priority right now. Let her know that you're interested in being her friend, not in what she'll do for you, and that you're there when she's ready to talk.

And I wouldn't replace her. If something is wrong to the extent that she can't come to your wedding, she's still the person you chose as MOH and can be listed in the program as such if you're doing programs.

stina93446

She's a friend first, MOH second. You need to call her and ask her what's up. This may be something serious.