OOT BM - WWYD?

tinydancer842

My one BM lives in Florida (I live in NJ) -- I know she'd like to attend the bridal shower in June, but I she can't afford the flight. Should I offer to pay for half of her flight as a gift? Flights are $200 so I'd be willing to pay $100 towards it. I dunno if that's a good gift? I figure we could make a 3 day weekend out of it & she could stay with me in my apartment so she wouldn't have to pay for much while she is here. I would also tell her not to buy me any gifts -- her being there would be the best gift. Should I ask her or leave it be?? 

stina93446

Is this supposed to be her bm gift? If so, I would ask her. I mean, it's still nice to have a solitary thing to open at the RD.

trix1223

It's a nice gesture, I think.  Offer it and see what she says.  One thought does occur to me though....are you considering this as her gift for being in the WP?  Because then I'd say no.  Because it's not really a gift to HER-it's a gift to you to have her at your shower. 

But I think I'd offer.

stina93446

Trix said EXACTLY what I was thinking but with more gusto. If it's her gift, no. If it's in addition to her gift, ask.

tinydancer842

I'd still get her a gift for the wedding, but probably not AS big of a gift. All of her friends are here too (she grew up in NJ) so it would be sort of a mini reunion for her too - so the shower won't be 100% of the focus for the weekend.

stina93446

Go for it, then. And I think you've been here long enough to know that if she declines, it's nothing personal.

tinydancer842

yep totally don't expect her to accept but i will run it by her & see what she says. 

tinydancer842

The bach party is 2 weeks before the wedding & not a big to-do so I doubt she'd come & it would be harder to accommodate closer to the wedding. Also she already said she'd come if the flights went down in price (when she looked they were $300 -- so I thought this may help) I am not going to make it into a big to do, just mention it in passing & see if she'd like that -- if it doesn't seem like she would then I will drop it.

tinydancer842

If she brings up the shower & how tickets are $300 I can say I saw some for $200 & I'd be happy to help her out since I'd love for her to come. If she says I'd feel bad doing that, I will drop it, but it can't hurt to let her know I want her to come & will help her out if she'll let me?

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_oot-bm-wwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6a19d17d-3272-4600-95e6-4242ae653e10Post:daef0da1-2ce4-43d0-92be-b158e69c9d5c">Re: OOT BM - WWYD?</a>:
[QUOTE]If she brings up the shower & how tickets are $300 I can say I saw some for $200 & I'd be happy to help her out since I'd love for her to come. If she says I'd feel bad doing that, I will drop it, but it can't hurt to let her know I want her to come & will help her out if she'll let me?
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

No sweetie - your heart is in the right place.  I think that if this is the main pre-wedding event, offering to help her pay, provided that she can come up with the $100, is fine.  Good luck!

xoxob

I think it's nice and it's also a really good way of saying, "I miss you, please! I really want you here." Other than "Oh, boo. It sucks you can't afford it"