Everyone wants in!

kkidd28

So I moved around alot growing up and have tons fo friends who are near & dear spread around the country.  I have 7 BM's & my MOH already.  I keep having people ask me "What are they doing in the wedding?"  These are people I do want to include somehow - what else can I have them do other than the hostess role?

Thanks in advance!

Koretta

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_everyone-wants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6ac1d5fc-bd67-46b5-ae54-cc1600718ce1Post:a3136ab8-d523-4181-8680-e7508aae7294">Everyone wants in!</a>:
[QUOTE]So I moved around alot growing up and have tons fo friends who are near & dear spread around the country.  I have 7 BM's & my MOH already.  I keep having people ask me "What are they doing in the wedding?"  These are people I do want to include somehow - what else can I have them do other than the hostess role? Thanks in advance! Koretta
Posted by kkidd28[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto Brooke. Just tell them their job is to have fun!</div>

JHS16

I'm including a couple cousins by asking them to participate in readings during the ceremony.  I thought about asking more friends to be ushers or guest book attendants, but I felt those positions were too much of a chore to be a real honor.  

kkidd28

   It seems their feelings are hurt because they don't have an actual part in the wedding.  I only have 4 of my friends as bridesmaids and the other 4 are family, so I really had to cut the list down.

     They aren't looking at it as a chore - they just really want to be more involved in my day that just sitting there....

     Readings are a good idea - I just haven't even thought about how many of those to have or what to have read without making this go long!

     I guess overall I am just surrounded by people that  really want to be part of my special day!  It's good to feel loved :-)!

megk8oz

If you want to give an extra special person or 2, that's one thing, but really, if you're trying to include every single person that you think is dissapointed, then you're ceremony's going to being 3 hours long just from the processional and "spotlight moments".

Trust me, being a guest is an honor. I've never felt insulted by being "just a guest" at a wedding for a good friend. I (And most rational adults) can comprehend that it's just not possible to ask "everybody" to be included as something aside from "guest". I also can realize that if I'm on the guest list, that does make me special, because I know for a fact you didn't invite everybody you and your FI ever met.

If you must include many people, please avoid betowing the following "honors"-guest book attendent, hostess, "Candid Photographer" Personal Attendant and "honorary bridesmaid". Most of these are chores, and a position that you would normally pay somebody to do. It's not an honor for you to allow them to do it for you for free. And "Honorary Bridesmaid" is just saying "You were good enough for me to pick out your attire, but not good enough to stand up during the ceremony and be in the formal pics".

aerinpegadrak

"If we asked everyone that we love to be in the wedding, there would be no one in the audience!  I'd be more than honored if you would just be there to witness it."

Just be sure to take pictures with them at the reception (and maybe give them a copy afterward), and you're good.  You'll drive yourself nuts if you try to include everyone as more than just guests.

emilyinchile

They don't have to have a part in the wedding, it's not a talent show. Just say what Aerin wrote, and they'll have a great time as guests.

trix1223

great advice.  Tell them you've come up with a very special "position".  Eat, drink, and be merry and that will make you happier than having them in some made up pity position.  Enjoy your friends-they sound great.