Pregnant Bridesmaid Backed Out

caretayl

I am getting married in 4 months, and one my bridesmaid's (who's pregnant and due on my exact wedding day) has decided to not be in the wedding anymore. Should I ask my friend doing my programs to fill her spot? She already knows my BM is pregnant, so I can't really cover up that she'd be replacing someone (esp when I asked my other friends to be bridesmaids over 6 months ago). At first I wasn't going to ask someone to replace my BM and just make it uneven, but when I told my fiance this, he was upset that he has to tell one of his groomsmen that they either 1) don't get to walk down with a girl or 2) have to double up with another guy to escort a BM.

I didn't think this would be a big deal at all, but my finace is not happy with this new dilemma. He thinks its not fair that one groomsmen doesn't get to do what every other groomsmen gets to do, and they will feel left out. I then asked him if just the BMs walk down the aisle my themselves, and the grooms stay at the altar, but he didnt like that idea either.  What should I do- replace the BM or deal with an uneven wedding party?

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bridesmaid-backed-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b035eaf-d9a4-4f5b-84ec-213ab544fe5cPost:a67bb403-bbaf-4faf-aaad-cbb8cc4e94b3">Pregnant Bridesmaid Backed Out</a>:
[QUOTE]I am getting married in 4 months, and one my bridesmaid's (who's pregnant and due on my exact wedding day) has decided to not be in the wedding anymore. Should I ask my friend doing my programs to fill her spot? She already knows my BM is pregnant, so I can't really cover up that she'd be replacing someone (esp when I asked my other friends to be bridesmaids over 6 months ago). At first I wasn't going to ask someone to replace my BM and just make it uneven, but when I told my fiance this, he was upset that he has to tell one of his groomsmen that they either 1) don't get to walk down with a girl or 2) have to double up with another guy to escort a BM. I didn't think this would be a big deal at all, but my finace is not happy with this new dilemma. He thinks its not fair that one groomsmen doesn't get to do what every other groomsmen gets to do, and they will feel left out. I then asked him if just the BMs walk down the aisle my themselves, and the grooms stay at the altar, but he didnt like that idea either.  What should I do- replace the BM or deal with an uneven wedding party?
Posted by caretayl[/QUOTE]
You're being silly, and your FI is being sillier.  You absolutely should not replace her, and I doubt any of the groomsmen will give a damn about how they walk in or out.  If they do, they get to join you at the silly table.

mbcdefg

Don't replace her, and tell FI to stop worrying about stupid stuff.

I cannot fathom any sane man being upset that he would get to walk down an aisle with two gorgeous ladies on his arms.

emilyinchile

Ditto PPs. If any GM is upset that his night is somehow ruined by not spending 10 seconds walking with his very own BM, then he has a SERIOUS problem. It's not like they're going to be missing out on some life-altering experience.

Don't replace her, it's insulting to her and whoever you choose as the replacement.

banana468

FI needs to chillax.

In the meantime, two dudes get to escort one groovy lady.  Problem solved!

Please don't replace her.  It's a bit of an insult to do that to both the pregnant friend and the replacement.  Don't make your dearest friends feel replaceable.

bablingbrooke

FI needs to chill out.  We had 1 less GM than BM and did exactly what you mentioned: GM waited up at the altar w/ DH and the BM walked up alone; on the way back 1 GM escorted two BM (and loved it).  My DH and MIL are usually really anal about symmetry and even they didn't mind the day of (though they had reservations before the wedding) so if they can wind up liking that arrangement, anyone can.

The WP isn't a cast in which you need to bring in an understudy if one of the principals can't show.  Go with an uneven WP.  

Whippet8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bridesmaid-backed-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b035eaf-d9a4-4f5b-84ec-213ab544fe5cPost:a67bb403-bbaf-4faf-aaad-cbb8cc4e94b3">Pregnant Bridesmaid Backed Out</a>:
[QUOTE]He thinks its not fair that one groomsmen doesn't get to do what every other groomsmen gets to do, and they will feel left out. I then asked him if just the BMs walk down the aisle my themselves, and the grooms stay at the altar, but he didnt like that idea either.  What should I do- replace the BM or deal with an uneven wedding party?
Posted by caretayl[/QUOTE]

I think you two should just deal with an uneven wedding party, and please don't ask someone as a "replacement." Also, the fact that it is uneven by only one person isnt going to seem strange.

 I think the only guy in the wedding that will truly care what he is doing is the groom, and I really dont think that a GM will get upset over who gets to do what, unless theyre truly being insulted. Which I definately dont think is the case. Also, we had all of the groomsmen down at the altar, and the BM walk down by themselves, and no one (including anyone in the wedding party) even mentioned anything about it--maybe its just common in CT though. Honestly, I think that your FI will just be anticipating your arrival down the aisle so much that he probably wont even really pay attention to the BM/GM coming down the aisle, and with the excitement of you two actually getting married, I dont think he'll have time to think about the unevenness.

SarahPLiz

Ditto PPs, I think your FI is being silly. This is not an issue. Unless your BP is also a matchmaking service, I don't really thing 2 GMs will mind sharing a BM for the recessional.

trix1223

Please send your FI here so that we can have a "come to Jesus" meeting with him.

emilykathleen511

Your fiance sounds like a tool. You should send him here so we can tell him so. Well, at least tell him he is acting like one in this particular instance.

MyNameIsNot

Ditto everyone else.  "Sorry, FI, but a WP is about people, not symmetry.  I'm not going to insult two of my friends just to have even numbers."  He's being really silly about this.

FWIW, I've never been to a wedding where all the guys weren't at the altar at the beginning, so I really don't understand why he'd dislike that idea.  Anyway, two guys can walk with one lady.  It will be fne.  GM/BM are not a couple, they are just escorts.  Unless some guy has it in his head that he gets to sleep with the BM that he escorts, I seriously doubt he'll mind. 

suz62984

Chances are one of your Groomsmen won't care about this anyways!  You may consider having the GMs and BMs walk down everyother one and not pair up. The Best Man would stand with your FI and your MOH could walk down right before you. I have a VERY uneven wedding party and we are not pairing anyone up. We are just going to let them walk everyother one.