HATE my MOH !

MeadersBaby

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GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:56e5272c-e084-4791-a860-ca1fa907488c">HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]My MOH WAS my best friend, MOH and God mother to my child. I have not comfronted her yet, but I am pretty sure she knows!  I went on her FB a week ago, being silly I always change her status to say how much she misses me :) I hadn't dont it in a while and went on. Well obviously she was on at the same time and was messaging someone. When you sign on from a computer the messages usually pop up in a chat and I saw my name. So obviously I read it.  Well long story short she was talking all kinds of sh* about me and saying everything I wasnted to do was such a waste of time. Going on and on about how annoying I am (I havent asked her for help with anything yet) beside sending her some pictures of dresses ive tried on (and she never responds or changes the subject) WTF.  She tells me she wasnts to be there for me so much and she is sorry she isn't then telling other people she doesnt want to go do anything for me!  Later that day I made a status about how hurt I was that friends aren't there to support you when you need it and how disgusted I was, and when I tried to finish reading what all they had said she changed her PW. Which makes me to assume she knows I may know.  Neither one of us has said anything to each othe yet. But if she is going to be so negative I dont want her in my wedding party at all. What should I do? I'm not only losing my MOH but my best friend! 
Posted by MeadersBaby[/QUOTE]

Well first of all, I think it is pretty sh*tty to go on anyone else's FB page without them giving you express permission at that time.  I don't even let DH do that and I don't blame your friend for changing her password.  She should have done it long ago.

Second, this is what we tell brides ALL THE FREAKIN TIME.  Friends and family will never tell you to your face what they really think of your plans.  As people who love you, they are going to nod their heads and tell you that what you are planning is fine and they wish they had time to do more.  Then they are going to b*tch about you behind your back.

Don't get pissed at your MOH.  Be pissed at yourself because you got exactly what every eavesdropper deserves: the truth.

MeadersBaby

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msuprincess04

Not wanting to help you plan your wedding doesn't make her a bad friend. She's not your wedding planner. If you need help, ask your FI. I know that sounds harsh, but no one will be as excited about your wedding as you are. You can be hurt that she didn't just tell you upfront, but not that she doesnt want to help. And your wedding is so far away, its just not on her radar yet. She likely has more immediate things that interest her. Relax and give her a break. Lay off wedding chatter and be the friends you were before you got engaged. That way everyone is happy.

Fancypantsamy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:23eeca7b-a3a6-4490-a121-5eea2bfb066e">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]My friend GAVE me her PW and she has mine. Like I stated I did it to be silly because we both always change each others status. That does NOT excuse her for talking sh* about her best friend.  BEST FRIENDS dont do that. If they are a friend they should talk to you and be there for you to help. You must be used to having bad friends but I AM NOT
Posted by MeadersBaby[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Okay seriously, grow up. You have a child. Why would you read your friend's private messages? I don't care that she gave you her password, you sound dumb and immature and you deserve what you get. Moaning about BEST FRIENDS and making passive agressive facebook posts doesn't make you sound like a great candidate for a lasting marriage.</div><div>
</div><div>Get over yourself and actually talk to your friend about what happened instead of belly aching on the internet. It will be good practice for being married. </div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:23eeca7b-a3a6-4490-a121-5eea2bfb066e">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]My friend GAVE me her PW and she has mine. Like I stated I did it to be silly because we both always change each others status. That does NOT excuse her for talking sh* about her best friend.  BEST FRIENDS dont do that. If they are a friend they should talk to you and be there for you to help. You must be used to having bad friends but I AM NOT
Posted by MeadersBaby[/QUOTE]

No, I have grown ups for friends.  Does my  BFF know that I think her husband is a total douche?  No and she never will because somehow she makes her marriage work.  Hell, her own mother used to call me to b*tch about her SIL because that's what she had to do to keep from telling her daughter (it also helped me keep it together around her).  BFFs are not always 100% honest with eachother.  Nobody is always 100% honest with eachother (TK being the only exception I have found so far).  Everyone tells little white lies and when they are the kind that make you crazy trying to keep from hurting someone, you vent to other people.

Are you honestly going to tell me that you have never, not once in your entire friendship, b*tched about her to someone else?  Never? You are just pissed because you overheard something that you were not meant to hear - or in this case, read.

freebread03

This entire situation is extremely childish.  Who has time to change their friend'd acebook status?  And then get mad when they didn't like what they read in a private exchance with someone else?  You sound very unreasonable, and very childish based on your post.  Are you actually a legal adult (i.e. over 18?)

AdeleDazeem

This is the most immature thing I've read in a long time.

People vent about other people.  People say things they don't necessarily mean to blow off steam or just let out frustrations.  She did this in the "privacy" of her Facebook, which you invaded.  I think that is horrendously low even if you did have her password.

I understand being hurt, taken aback, etc... but you already hate her when you haven't even SPOKEN to her about the issues.  Call her.  Go visit her.  Talk it out.  If you guys are really "best friends" then you should TALK to each other and not get in fights over lack of communication. 

Simply Fated

Look at it this way... it's like when you give your friend a key to your house or apartment. You might do it for emergencies or so she can use your bathroom while her power is out or so she can feed your dog while you go away for the weekend... but now imagine you come home and find her reading your diary. I mean, you left it open on your nightstand and she saw her name in it... so obviously she read it.


When you sign on from a computer the messages usually pop up in a chat and I saw my name. So obviously I read it. 

No, not obviously. When you see your name like that, look away! LOOK AWAY!


Clearly she needed to vent about the wedding stuff and that really isn't a big deal. Every single person of every single wedding party in the history of weddings has done that. Guaranteed. Weddings are like any other event in that way.

Apologize for breeching her trust and have an open and honest discussion about everything. Work on your friendship with her because you probably don't want to lose your best friend over stupid wedding details, amirite?

MeadersBaby

Well I am glad I came on here for support. Now I remember why I usually never post on here.. If you read correctly I went on to change her status (we do it to EACH OTHER) and it poped up there was no way to NOT see my name. Calling me a bi* saying I was annoying, how she didnt even want to help or be in my wedding, talking sh* about my family. Like I said it was a long story I didnt go into full detail. I didnt GO ON HER PAGE to spy on anything. We have been best friends for years. I helped plan her wedding and was there every step of the way. I didnt ASK for a wedding coordinater I asked for a friend. Clearly most of you are stuck up. I did not ask to be bashed so thank you for doing that. 

GoodLuckBear14

Really OP?  The DD is just further proof of your total immaturity.

MeadersBaby

She hass nothing to vent about the ONLY thing I have asked her opinion on way dresses. I asked her to do a wedding show with me and she was so excited and was DYING to do it.. so she said.. but then told numerous people I was so dumb for wanting to be on TV and she can not believe I am making her do it! While I had only asked if she would like to! I had plenty of other people asking. 

AND I AM PLENTY OLD ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED THANK YOU.! 

MeadersBaby

DD?

GoodLuckBear14

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:1b20733c-cea8-4489-ae91-0aee5d56e96d">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I am glad I came on here for support. Now I remember why I usually never post on here.. If you read correctly I went on to change her status (we do it to EACH OTHER) and it poped up there was no way to NOT see my name. Calling me a bi* saying I was annoying, how she didnt even want to help or be in my wedding, talking sh* about my family. Like I said it was a long story I didnt go into full detail. I didnt GO ON HER PAGE to spy on anything. We have been best friends for years. I helped plan her wedding and was there every step of the way. I didnt ASK for a wedding coordinater I asked for a friend. Clearly most of you are stuck up. I did not ask to be bashed so thank you for doing that. 
Posted by MeadersBaby[/QUOTE]

Nobody here is stuck up.  We are just telling you that you need to grow up.  You still cannot see that you are in the wrong here, not her.  That is what we have been trying to make you see.

I don't care what the circumstances of you going onto her FB page were.  What she writes anywhere but what is open for public view are not for your eyes and are none of your damn business.   Reread what everyone wrote - including my opinion about my BFF's husband.  What she did is not unusual and if you think that friendships don't have secrets to keep you from going off on someone you love and hurting them, then you are incredibly naive.</div>

GoodLuckBear14

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:5098f248-93bb-4bc9-a61b-98a61d25b569">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]She hass nothing to vent about the ONLY thing I have asked her opinion on way dresses. I asked her to do a wedding show with me and she was so excited and was DYING to do it.. so she said.. but then told numerous people I was so dumb for wanting to be on TV and she can not believe I am making her do it! While I had only asked if she would like to! I had plenty of other people asking.  AND I AM PLENTY OLD ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED THANK YOU.! 
Posted by MeadersBaby[/QUOTE]

<div align="left"><div align="left">Again:  WP members are going to tell you that they'd LOVE to do things because they know it means something to you even if they don't want to.  That is how weddings have worked since the inception of weddings!!!!!
</div>
Nobody said you weren't old enough to get married.  It is the maturity needed that is being questioned.

And as I side note, if you want to be on one of those wedding TV shows, I've got to agree with your MOH's opinion.</div></div>

GoodLuckBear14

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:77020581-da49-477a-abaa-6f7201ac73d9">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]DD?
Posted by MeadersBaby[/QUOTE]

Dirty Delete.  It is was girls do when they don't get the validation they were expecting to come pouring their way.</div>

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:5098f248-93bb-4bc9-a61b-98a61d25b569">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]She hass nothing to vent about the ONLY thing I have asked her opinion on way dresses. I asked her to do a wedding show with me and she was so excited and was DYING to do it.. so she said.. <strong>but then told numerous people I was so dumb for wanting to be on TV</strong> and she can not believe I am making her do it! While I had only asked if she would like to! I had plenty of other people asking.  AND I AM PLENTY OLD ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED THANK YOU.! 
Posted by MeadersBaby[/QUOTE]
I thought you only read that one private message?

Honestly, this is what you get for reading her private message. So what if it popped up and you saw your name? You scrolled around the PM and read all the details. You were curious and curiousity killed the cat.

if you want to end the friendship, just continue to not call her and if she calls you, send her calls to your voicemail. Is that the advice you'd rather hear?

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:c7fd1889-54e2-4fe6-9c92-757b295742e7">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]I can see why your friend did that. I don't see why you need your friend's password for fb.  It is really immature to change her status.  <strong>That may have been fun in high school</strong> or college, but when you are a grown up you stop those silly things.
Posted by snippet17[/QUOTE]
My bf's sister does this with her best friend. They're <em>15</em>.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:1b20733c-cea8-4489-ae91-0aee5d56e96d">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I am glad I came on here for support. Now I remember why I usually never post on here.. If you read correctly I went on to change her status (we do it to EACH OTHER) and it poped up there was no way to NOT see my name. Calling me a bi* saying I was annoying, how she didnt even want to help or be in my wedding, talking sh* about my family. Like I said it was a long story I didnt go into full detail. I didnt GO ON HER PAGE to spy on anything. We have been best friends for years. I helped plan her wedding and was there every step of the way. I didnt ASK for a wedding coordinater I asked for a friend. Clearly most of you are stuck up. I did not ask to be bashed so thank you for doing that. 
Posted by MeadersBaby[/QUOTE]

No way not to see your name is not the same as reading/spying on the whole conversation. When something popped up, you should have closed the window and turned the other way. If it's a long story and you expect us to understand all the intricacies of the situation, you need to post it or we're not going to. Otherwise, you read a private conversation, not intended for your eyes, and then judged a friend on it before confronting them personally. That is an invasion of privacy and immature. If you actually cared about this person at all, you should talk with HER about these issues before making a bunch of assumptions based on one conversation you "eavesdropped" on.

beardownbchs

Clearly you're not reading any of the posts that disgaree with your opinion so I'll keep my mouth shut on that but PLEASE think about this...

How is what you're doing right now (b!tching..on a PUBLIC forum..) any better than what she did to you? 

I don't think reading her messages on HER facebook was the right thing to do, but at least she was venting only to one person. She might not agree with or be totally excited about everything you're doing but she told you she is because she is a good friend and wants you to be happy. Then she went to someone else to vent because she didn't want to tell you that some of your thoughts are stupid. You can't honestly say you've never been out with a friend and come home to your FI and said "Ugh! B!tch drives me crazy!".

From your overreaction here, you're lucky to have her as a friend. Be an adult, talk to her about it and move on. I hope you have more important things in your life to worry about.

And P.S. - Deleting your OP does nothing when you've been quoted. LOL you, of all people, should know not to post anything that you may want to take back..

Peledreamsofrain

Amen Retread.

OP both you and your friend seem to be happiest re-living the most passive agressive parts of highschool via facebook antics.

Not sure why you are angry in that case.  Go give each other a b@$chy hug, maybe leave a stain on each other's backs with oil or something.  So sweet.

cwaggoner07

Every time I start reading a post and I see the word 'facebook' I know it's about to get real interesting.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:6e16b021-2f9a-461d-8695-3d7711644c58">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]Clearly you're not reading any of the posts that disgaree with your opinion so I'll keep my mouth shut on that but PLEASE think about this... <strong>How is what you're doing right now (b!tching..on a PUBLIC forum..) any better than what she did to you?</strong>  I don't think reading her messages on HER facebook was the right thing to do, but at least she was venting only to one person. She might not agree with or be totally excited about everything you're doing but she told you she is because she is a good friend and wants you to be happy. Then she went to someone else to vent because she didn't want to tell you that some of your thoughts are stupid. You can't honestly say you've never been out with a friend and come home to your FI and said "Ugh! B!tch drives me crazy!". From your overreaction here, you're lucky to have her as a friend. Be an adult, talk to her about it and move on. I hope you have more important things in your life to worry about. And P.S. - Deleting your OP does nothing when you've been quoted. LOL you, of all people, should know not to post anything that you may want to take back..
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]
Too true.

Epiphany1031

As soon as you read the conversation on facebook, you should have contacted your friend and said, "hey, I was changing your status and the chat you were having with xx popped up. I was pretty taken aback by what was said. Can we talk about it?" and started a conversation with her. An ADULT conversation where you both can communicate and solve the issue at hand. She would then tell you what is rubbing her the wrong way/annoying her/whatever, you can say your side and apologize/explain/whatever.
Then, your friend should change her password, you change yours.. or don't.. whatever.

You shouldn't be acting like how you are now, making a huge mountain out of a molehill. This is the GODMOTHER of your child, your BEST FRIEND, etc etc..  Guess what. Disagreements happen. Fix it and move forward.

Let this be a lesson of relationships. Call her, fix this. Say you're sorry that you eavesdropped too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:5098f248-93bb-4bc9-a61b-98a61d25b569">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]She hass nothing to vent about the ONLY thing I have asked her opinion on way dresses. I asked her to do a wedding show with me and she was so excited and was DYING to do it.. so she said.. but then told numerous people I was so dumb for wanting to be on TV and she can not believe I am making her do it! While I had only asked if she would like to! I had plenty of other people asking.  <strong>AND I AM PLENTY OLD ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED THANK YOU.!</strong> 
Posted by MeadersBaby[/QUOTE]

Sure doesn't sound like it!  You're acting like a 13 year old.  Grown adults do not share passwords and change each others facebook status.  Grow up.

renegade gaucho

So you reacted to her private conversation by passive-aggressively posting a vague status update for the whole world to see instead of talking to her privately?  Very mature!

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hate-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6b4f1118-4c26-4481-838e-9696c945f742Post:8020a703-eaba-4a58-849e-68d3fefdeea5">Re: HATE my MOH !</a>:
[QUOTE]Every time I start reading a post and I see the word 'facebook' I know it's about to get real interesting.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

So true, so true.