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    OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:d3344662-02a4-44c6-bee4-9e5b8455ed69">Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK, so my best friend/MOH just found out that she is pregnant and she is due 2 weeks before my wedding!!! I am super excited for her but at the same time, my feelings are a little hurt. I have been engaged for over a year now, and the wedding date has been set for about that amount of time. I could care less if she is pregnant for the wedding, <strong>I just hoped that she would have been a little more respectful of the date of the wedding and to steer clear of a due date that would interfere with her not being able to be in the wedding or even be able to come! </strong>Being friends for over 20 years, I know her all too well and I can totally see her having the baby and telling me she isnt feeling up to being in the wedding. That is just a little too much stress to handle a few weeks before the wedding, so I am thinking about asking her if she would rather back out now, or if she thinks she will be able to do it. This is her first baby and you never know how your body is going to react. I am having a really hard time with this. Part of me doesnt want to say anything to her because she is so excited and I dont want her to be upset. But at the same time, I am facing my best friend not being able to be in and/or even at my wedding and my feelings are just kind of hurt.  What do I do?!?! 
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]

    Ummmm...what???  I canot believe I am actually reading this!  So, you mean to tell us that you think your friend should have been more respectful of your wedding day when she got pregnant?  A baby trumps a wedding.  Period.  A baby is a miracle.  Your wedding is not.

    Wow!  You seem to be a pretty shiitty friend for kicking her out b/c she is pregnant.

    This has to be the most selfish thing I think I have ever read in the hisotry of TK.

    What do you do??  Being a better friend would be a great start.

     

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    angelstar975angelstar975 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Frankly, you're being selfish here. You can't expect your friend to schedule HAVING A BABY around your big day. Babies are more important than weddings. Period.

    If you ask her to step down, or express anything besides happiness about her pregnancy, you're really risking ending the friendship and YOU will be the one who comes off as a selfish brat.

    Sorry to be harsh and I can understand being worried about your best friend missing your wedding, but it happens. All you can do is be happy for her and hope for the best, that she will be able to make the wedding.
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    jbates926jbates926 member
    First Comment
    Let me clarify a few things here. 

    1. I didnt mean to make it sound like I am kicking her out. She has made a few comments since she found out that she was pregnant that implied that she was not going to be able to stand up in the wedding. I know that she would never tell me that, so what I guess I was more asking if I should just open up the option to her. I certainly dont want her to be stressed out about getting into a bridesmaid dress 2 weeks after giving birth, and that is if the baby comes on time. I just feel like that is un needed stress for her and I dont want to put her through that. 

    2. I understand that a baby is a miracle and I am beyond excited for them. At the same time, I want for my best friend to be able to stand by me on the day that I get married.

    After re-reading my post, I should have included more detail so that it did not sound like I wanted to kick her out. That is not the case at all. I just dont want for her to be uncomfortable and feel obgligated to do all of the MOH stuff..... 
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    Meegles4Meegles4 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    On the one hand, I do get what you're saying. My cousin had to back out of being in my wedding because she got pregnant and didn't realize she can't fly in the last trimester, and she's due one month after the wedding. My first thought was "how did she not know you can't fly" followed by "why the heck didn't she plan better?"

    I had these thoughts because I'm Type A and can totally see myself attempting to schedule a child around work schedules and other major life events, or at least TTC with those things in mind. 

    However, as hard as we try, babies can't be completely planned out, and sh*t happens. As my cousin said, she didn't think it would happen as fast as it did and was pretty bummed when she realized she wouldn't be able to be there. So, good for her and it is what it is. Babies DO trump weddings.

    My advice is that you just take your cues from your friend and don't mention anything. Sure, have a plan in your head for what you'll do if she does say she can't stand up in the wedding, but that's it. Even if she says that, hopefully she can still come and be a guest. Even as MOH, that's really all she needs to do. If she feels like she can't walk down an aisle or wear a certain dress, she can still come, sit in the first row, and heck, even sign the marriage license I bet!
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    AmandaSC1988AmandaSC1988 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:d3344662-02a4-44c6-bee4-9e5b8455ed69">Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK, so my best friend/MOH just found out that she is pregnant and she is due 2 weeks before my wedding!!! I am super excited for her but at the same time, my feelings are a little hurt. I have been engaged for over a year now, and the wedding date has been set for about that amount of time. I could care less if she is pregnant for the wedding, I <strong>just hoped that she would have been a little more respectful of the date of the wedding and to steer clear of a due date that would interfere</strong> with her not being able to be in the wedding or even be able to come! Being friends for over 20 years, I know her all too well and I can totally see her having the baby and telling me she isnt feeling up to being in the wedding. That is just a little too much stress to handle a few weeks before the wedding, so I am thinking about asking her if she would rather back out now, or if she thinks she will be able to do it. This is her first baby and you never know how your body is going to react. I am having a really hard time with this. Part of me doesnt want to say anything to her because she is so excited and I dont want her to be upset. But at the same time, I am facing my best friend not being able to be in and/or even at my wedding and my feelings are just kind of hurt.  What do I do?!?! 
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]


    No matter how you spin it, that is completely and utterly selfish and rude. What were they suppose to do..not have sex 9 months before your wedding? COME ON.
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    mbodymbody
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:d3344662-02a4-44c6-bee4-9e5b8455ed69">Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK, so my best friend/MOH just found out that she is pregnant and she is due 2 weeks before my wedding!!! I am super excited for her but at the same time, my feelings are a little hurt. I have been engaged for over a year now, and the wedding date has been set for about that amount of time. I could care less if she is pregnant for the wedding, <strong>I just hoped that she would have been a little more respectful of the date of the wedding and to steer clear of a due date that would interfere with her not being able to be in the wedding or even be able to come! </strong>Being friends for over 20 years, I know her all too well and I can totally see her having the baby and telling me she isnt feeling up to being in the wedding. That is just a little too much stress to handle a few weeks before the wedding, so I am thinking about asking her if she would rather back out now, or if she thinks she will be able to do it. This is her first baby and you never know how your body is going to react. I am having a really hard time with this. Part of me doesnt want to say anything to her because she is so excited and I dont want her to be upset. But at the same time, I am facing my best friend not being able to be in and/or even at my wedding and my feelings are just kind of hurt.  <strong>What do I do?!?!</strong> 
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]
    Bahahaa!! This is a joke, right?!

    I can't believe you even said that.

    Earth to jbates- the world doesn't revolve around you- nor does anyone else's life. And yes, that means even your friend of 20 years doesn't have to make MAJOR LIFE DECISIONS around you or your time schedule and agenda. Sorry. I'm sure that comes as a shock to you.

    When you ask, "What do I do?!?!?" Like what CAN you do? Maybe you can be happy and not make this about you.
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    jbates926jbates926 member
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    I just received an email from her explaining that she would rather not be in the wedding. Which I am fine with, I would rather it happen now then 2 weeks before the wedding. 

    She is still going to get a dress similar to the bridesmaids and still give a speech. 

    I guess unless you personally know the people involved and all of the details of the situation, it would sound selfish and harsh......

    Thanks for the honest comments.....
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:25930261-237e-4308-ba14-b507e50e0002">Re: Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just received an email from her explaining that she would rather not be in the wedding. Which I am fine with, I would rather it happen now then 2 weeks before the wedding.  <strong>She is still going to get a dress similar to the bridesmaids </strong>and still give a speech.  I guess unless you personally know the people involved and all of the details of the situation, it would sound selfish and harsh...... Thanks for the honest comments.....
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]

    <div>If she's going to wear a special dress, then she's still in the wedding. You could let her know you don't expect anything more, you know, which would be the friendly thing to do.</div>
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:25930261-237e-4308-ba14-b507e50e0002">Re: Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just received an email from her explaining that she would rather not be in the wedding. Which I am fine with, I would rather it happen now then 2 weeks before the wedding.  She is still going to get a dress similar to the bridesmaids and still give a speech.  <strong>I guess unless you personally know the people involved and all of the details of the situation, it would sound selfish and harsh</strong>...... Thanks for the honest comments.....
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]

    Well, yeah, it DOES sound harsh. Because you yourself said, "I could care less if she is pregnant for the wedding,<strong> I just hoped that she would have been a little more respectful of the date of the wedding</strong> and to steer clear of a due date that would interfere with her not being able to be in the wedding or even be able to come!"

    Stop backpeddling and acting like there's a misunderstanding here due to a lack of details. If something was your true feeling or SO important to the story that it'd change everyone's opinion, then you would've put it in the original post to start with. I get being disappointed that a friend can't make it to the wedding, but then you had to toss in that you were hurt at her "lack of respect" for your wedding date. Ugh.

    At least the situation resolved itself, but I <em>really</em> hope that you don't go around repeating that above quote to anyone you know in real life or else they're going to lose a lot of respect for you.  
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    SandC1609SandC1609 member
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    Its quite possible that my MOH will be pregnant or having a baby around the same time.  But we are planning ahead for it.  Being a mom, I know that I was down for the count for almost 6 weeks after having my son, so its completely up to the Momma to Be and what she thinks she can handle.  She may be fine or she may be exhausted.  

    I'm glad she was the one who opted for the dress and reading. 
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    jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:25930261-237e-4308-ba14-b507e50e0002">Re: Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just received an email from her explaining that she would rather not be in the wedding. Which I am fine with, I would rather it happen now then 2 weeks before the wedding.  She is still going to get a dress similar to the bridesmaids and still give a speech.  I guess unless you personally know the people involved and all of the details of the situation, it would sound selfish and harsh...... Thanks for the honest comments.....
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]

    "<strong>I just hoped that she would have been a little more respectful of the date of the wedding and to steer clear of a due date that would interfere with her not being able to be in the wedding or even be able to come!"

    </strong>Um yeah...^THIS^ is why you got the harsh comments.  There's absolutely no backstory needed here to see that this is one of the most utterly selfish and bitchy things to get upset about.

    People's lives DO NOT revolve around your wedding and you are ridiculous to expect that someone should put off their plans to start a family just so they wouldn't deliver close to your wedding.  The pure fact that you even had to ask what to do gives me all the information I need.  She's supposed to be your best friend, not a prop for your pictures. 
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    OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Classic!  OP deleted her original post. 

    It's been quoted, lol ;)

     

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    LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Jbates- I don't care if you are trying to spin your post more towards, "oh I should have added more information. I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to kick her out." You care more about your wedding day than about a day that will change your best friends life forever. People try for months and years to have a baby. I hope that if I'm ever in this situation with my best friend, she'd handle it better than you. If not, then she old no longer be my friend.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    You may want to prepare yourself for the fact that she may not even come to your wedding.  Newborns are a bit time consuming if you haven't heard.


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    TiffannieFTiffannieF member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited February 2012
    OP I'm glad you deleted that horrid post. Next time you get married be sure to let your BM know they cannot have sex within 9 months of your wedding so not to steal your thunder. And on a nice note: if you were sad that she won't be there then that's a fine silent confession but seriously remember that she didn't do it to intentionally hurt your feelings.
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    It IS selfish and harsh! 

    Your friend is having a baby - that isn't something that happens on demand, some people try for months before they get pregnant, and they aren't going to stop trying 13 months before your wedding until 6 months before your wedding just to avoid possibly inconveniencing you with her either recently having a baby or being in her 3rd trimester and possibly unable to make it due to travel restrictions or complications with the pregnancy.  Getting pregnant doesn't work that way, and it's incredibly selfish of you to expect that of your friend. 

    If you're any kind of friend, you'll be happy for your friend, realize there's probably no way she'll even be able to come to your wedding, and know that it's not because she doesn't love you or isn't excited about you getting married - it's because she is physically incubating a child and that child comes first over literally everything else on earth for your friend from now on.

    If you can't get over it and be happy for your friend and not be all 'me, me, me', then you aren't any kind of friend at all and she deserves better.

    Baby /> Wedding.  Every single day.  If FI's sister announced she was pregnant and my future in-laws ended up having to miss our wedding to be at the birth, we'd probably try to reschedule.  Or we'd understand and figure out a way to Skype it for them.  But babies win, always.  It's a life coming into the world, and you can't schedule life around an event - you can try to schedule an event around life, but you have to just realize that sometimes life will come in the way of an event, and that's just how life goes sometimes.

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    LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:515d2bed-272c-47eb-a52f-c1d17349e7b4">Re: !</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP I'm glad you deleted that horrid post. Next time you get married be sure to let your BM know they cannot have sex within 9 months of your wedding so not to steal your thunder.

    And on a nice note: if you were sad that she won't be there then that's a fine silent confession but seriously remember that she didn't do it to intentionally hurt your feelings.
    Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]



    Actually it should be 10-12 months. Because she could not be able to come the month after because her friend has a new born.

    Come on! You get to control a year of someones sex life if they are in your wedding!
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    You need to prepare yourself that she may not be at your wedding at all (wedding party member or not).  Newborns are a bit of a handful those first few months...or so I am told.

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Looks like someone needs to prepare for her friend not coming to her wedding at all.  Apparently, newborns are a bit of a handfull, but I guess she can just leave the baby alone for a few hours, heck all they do is sleep anyway, I am sure it will be fine. (sarcastic tone intended)

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    jbates926jbates926 member
    First Comment
    ugh...you are all reading this the wrong way. I understand how this sounds from an outsiders opinion, but it is not meant to be selfish, even though I know that is how it sounds. 

    I am not trying to control her sex life in any way, shape or form. She approached me last summer about her and her husband trying to have a baby. I couldnt be happier that they were going to try, but SHE was the one that mentioned that if nothing happened by around November, then they would hold off until about March so that she would still be able to be involved in the wedding and not be due right around the wedding. HER WORDS!!!

    This is why it caught me so off guard. I cant strees enough that I couldnt be happier for her about the pregnancy, so the posts telling me that I should be happy for her, I AM!!

    The reason for my post was more or less for guidence on if I should approach her with being involved in some other way to avoid the stress and pressure on her part as well having wedding stuff to be involved in and just having a baby. I knew that she would never tell me that on her own, so I was just trying to approach her instead. 

    Again, without knowing the 2 of us it sounds worse than it is. Since this original post the situation has been resolved so that hate posts can stop now!
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    pgcppgcp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:25930261-237e-4308-ba14-b507e50e0002">Re: Pregnant MOH</a>:

    [QUOTE] <strong> <strong>I just hoped that she would have been a little more respectful of the date of the wedding and to steer clear of a due date that would interfere with her not being able to be in the wedding or even be able to come! </strong></strong>
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]
    I seriously laughed at the mental imagine of her stopping during foreplay and declaring that they couldn't continue because she might get pregnant and that would interfere with your wedding.  What did you expect her to do?

    [QUOTE]  <strong>She is still going to get a dress similar to the bridesmaids and still give a speech.  </strong>
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]
    If she is going to be there, wear a coordinating dress and give a speech, what is the problem with carrying flowers and standing (or sitting in a chair if she's too tired)?  I really do not understand what is going on.  At all.
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    OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:805335b1-c761-4776-8673-ebe9ccd37409">Re: !</a>:
    [QUOTE]ugh...you are all reading this the wrong way. I understand how this sounds from an outsiders opinion, but it is not meant to be selfish, even though I know that is how it sounds.  I am not trying to control her sex life in any way, shape or form. She approached me last summer about her and her husband trying to have a baby. I couldnt be happier that they were going to try, but SHE was the one that mentioned that if nothing happened by around November, then they would hold off until about March so that she would still be able to be involved in the wedding and not be due right around the wedding. HER WORDS!!! This is why it caught me so off guard. I cant strees enough that I couldnt be happier for her about the pregnancy, so the posts telling me that I should be happy for her, I AM!! The reason for my post was more or less for guidence on if I should approach her with being involved in some other way to avoid the stress and pressure on her part as well having wedding stuff to be involved in and just having a baby. I knew that she would never tell me that on her own, so I was just trying to approach her instead.  Again, without knowing the 2 of us it sounds worse than it is. Since this original post the situation has been resolved so that hate posts can stop now!
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]

    I don't care what conversation she may have had with you last summer!  Plans change and especially when it involves a pregnancy. Her and her FI or H do NOT have to inform you if they do decide to change their minds regarding when they choose to get pregnant.

    Please, stop backpedaling b/c there is nothing you can say that will change our opinion of how absolutely disgusting your OP was.

    P.S.  You started the thread therefore you have subjected yourself to anyone's opinion on the matter. 

     

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Seriously TK...each time I try to post it comes back with an error and now all three of my posts that came back with error messages are showing up?!?!?  So frustrating!!!

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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:25930261-237e-4308-ba14-b507e50e0002">Re: Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just received an email from her explaining that she would rather not be in the wedding. Which I am fine with, I would rather it happen now then 2 weeks before the wedding.  She is still going to get a dress similar to the bridesmaids and still give a speech.<strong>  I guess unless you personally know the people involved and all of the details of the situation, it would sound selfish and harsh......</strong> Thanks for the honest comments.....
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]

    We don't need to know the people involved or all of the details of the situation. What we know is enough -- you expected your MOH to put her life on hold for the year leading up to your One Day.  You expected her to take your One Day into account before making any decisions with her husband regarding their life together. That's all we need to know. Nothing else you add and no amount of backpedaling can make that sound reasonable or unselfish.
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    froggatt.clarefroggatt.clare
    First Comment
    Even if she SAID they would stop TTC so the birth wouldn't coordinate with your wedding... TTC is hard.  Full stop.  They probably saw that it wasn't happening right away, heard about how difficult it is for a normal couple and how long it takes, and decided to put their family first.  End of story.

    If she can stand by you, I am certain she will.
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    sonya+adamsonya+adam member
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    Wow. Just wow. First of all, it doesn't matter how much you insist that you're not being selfish; you are. "steer clear of my wedding date" Are you hearing yourself?! It doesn't matter what conversations you have. She very well may have not been actually trying to get pregnant, as she said she would stop. But sometimes, it happens anyway and women get pregnant. Second, when she said that she didn't know if she could stand at your wedding, did you ever stop to think that maybe she meant that because she'd be very pregnant, she'd get really tired really quickly? And if that happens, all you would have to do is save a seat for her in the front row so she could sit down? It's really not that complicated and horrible to have a pregnant BM.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    How on earth are we SUPPOSED to read, "She should have been more respectful of my wedding date"? Nobody "misread" anything. You said something incredibly selfish. Stop blaming it on everyone else and own what you wrote.
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    It's been quite a while since I've seen backpeddling like this!

    OP, you were out of line to think that anyone at anytime, anywhere and in any way would put their lives on hold because you're getting married.  Period.
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    TiffannieFTiffannieF member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:37fd534d-3024-4250-a23f-46da0cd1a62a">Re: !</a>:
    [QUOTE]How on earth are we SUPPOSED to read, "She should have been more respectful of my wedding date"?

    Nobody "misread" anything. You said something incredibly selfish. Stop blaming it on everyone else and own what you wrote.
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]



    Exactly. You've been quoted YOU said you wished she would have been more mindful if your wedding. Now you can realize that you a temporary bridezilla moment and that you regret saying something you don't really mean or you can stay in denial.

    Non-the-less. I dont know and will never meet you so I could care less if you are in denial or are super selfish...what matters is your relationship with your friend.
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    FutureMrsPaulGFutureMrsPaulG
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-moh-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6c6368c6-2dd9-430a-82aa-8934878e2557Post:805335b1-c761-4776-8673-ebe9ccd37409">Re: !</a>:
    [QUOTE]ugh...you are all reading this the wrong way. I understand how this sounds from an outsiders opinion, but it is not meant to be selfish, even though I know that is how it sounds.  I am not trying to control her sex life in any way, shape or form. She approached me last summer about her and her husband trying to have a baby. I couldnt be happier that they were going to try, but SHE was the one that mentioned that if nothing happened by around November, then they would hold off until about March so that she would still be able to be involved in the wedding and not be due right around the wedding. HER WORDS!!! This is why it caught me so off guard. I cant strees enough that I couldnt be happier for her about the pregnancy, so the posts telling me that I should be happy for her, I AM!! The reason for my post was more or less for guidence on if I should approach her with being involved in some other way to avoid the stress and pressure on her part as well having wedding stuff to be involved in and just having a baby. I knew that she would never tell me that on her own, so I was just trying to approach her instead.  Again, without knowing the 2 of us it sounds worse than it is. Since this original post the situation has been resolved so that hate posts can stop now!
    Posted by jbates926[/QUOTE]



    I have a hard time believing a person would actually say that they would stop trying to have a child because it might interfere with someone's wedding! Are people really supposed to believe that? It's almost insulting. What do you do? Be happy and maybe pull your head out and realize that the world does not revolve around your wedding. Time to put on the big~girl pants and be a good friend.
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