Ungrateful Groomzilla!

jacques15

Okay, I want your opinion:
One of my best friends (let's call him K) is the BM for another good friend of mine (let's call him A).  For A's bach party, K took him and a bunch of buddies to a nightclub where a lot of money was spent (A is kinda cheap and never even offered to help with the tab of over 200 so K paid it all).  A got REALLY drunk and sick and was sick not even 3 hrs into the event - K cleaned up after him (literally).  The next day, A calls K and says he's disappointed in K, that K should have planned a better evening because it was a big deal for him; that he should have kept him from getting too drunk and that overall, he was "disappointed".
 
A is completely ungrateful for the cost and effort K put into it (believe me, K is a great friend) and to this day (2 days b4 wedding) is butthurt about it.  Add to that: for the rehearsal dinner, A specifically called K to tell him it's just him invited (and not K's gf).  Add to that that K is still thoughtful enough to want to give him a lot of cash for his wedding present (as that is what A requested on invites).

Do others think this is *totally* wrong? K is quite hurt by the ungratefulness but now he doesn't want to further "disappoint" him by not giving him cash for the wedding.
I tell him he's being mistreated and it isn't worth it (K's job is very insecure ATM).
What do you guys think?

tidetravel

A is an asshat (although I will give him that if K took him out for a B-party, he's not obligated to pay for it)

It's not K's fault that A got plastered - he's not a babysitter.  Would A also blame K if he had sex with a stripper, because he wasn't being watched?  Well, he might, but he would be unjustified in that too.

Add to that the blatant etiquette faux-pas (asking for cash on the invites, breaking up a social unit), and dude would be getting a blender as his gift.  Or maybe a beerbong would be more appropriate.

stina93446

If I were K, I wouldn't go to the RD. How hard is it to walk down the aisle? A is, like tide said, an asshat!

pixiedust84

Agreed - A sounds like a douchey McDoucherson and K should give him a dollar store punch bowl as a gift.

jacques15

@TideTravel:
Oh, yeah, the asking for cash on the wedding invite is *another* story.. my FI and I thought of doing it (only for a second) for our Dec wedding after we saw his invitest, but we a) are blessed to be OK financially and b), MOST IMPORTANTLY, we think it's NOT classy... or proper at all.  It makes it seem like you have no financial plan if you throw a big wedding and expensive honeymoon and then ask for cash at the same time... it usually means you didn't plan things well and that reflects on other things, too.

Yes, A, at this point deserves no cash or gift, just maybe a card that says "I'm sorry I disappointed you - better luck next time" hahaha..

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ungrateful-groomzilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6d7e7070-e34b-4549-8f28-dc9856cdcf90Post:6a623107-120f-43c7-bf8a-b2c5584a0e58">Re: Ungrateful Groomzilla!</a>:
[QUOTE]A, at this point deserves no cash or gift, just maybe a card that says "I'm sorry I disappointed you - better luck next time" hahaha..
Posted by jacques15[/QUOTE]

HA!

I was gonna say the only appropriate gift would be a nutshot, but this is definitely more civil.

banana468

I think this groom is a jerkface.

If I were the BM, I'd tell him that I'll be at the rehearsal but not at the RD.

I'd also have some serious issues being friends with this dude.

mbcdefg

I would skip the rehearsal dinner, give him an Emily Post etiquette book as a wedding gift, and re-think being the guy's friend entirely.

xoxob

If only K were as lucky as my FI and A called off the wedding.

A is crazy and is never going to change. I know someone exactly like that (said man who called off the wedding) and you know what the best part is? K probably thinks he is the bees flippin' knees.

[Deleted User]

Wow, why is he still friends with this guy? If my DH treated his friends like that they'd either punch him in the face or tell him to f*ck off. Why is K letting A talk to him like that and treat him that way? K needs to grow a pair and stand up for himself.

And skip the RD, and probably eve the wedding.

And I have to ask, do you know the woman A is marrying? Because she must have serious issues to want to marry him.

SarahPLiz

I think K is either you or your FI.

I think they need to work it out between themselves like grown adults, without a mediator.

suz62984

Agreed, A sounds like an asshat. If I were K I would say i'm sorry but I cannot attend the RD. I would also get him an awesome present instead of cash. I'm thinking something really tacky and slightly offensive.

jacques15

@SarahPLiz :
Actually, no, I'm a female and my name is April
This is seriously my best male friend and my other male friends (both from college) that are going through this..

@Seshat411 :
Actually, yeah, his fiance is really a great gal - she is one of those "through thick and thin" where she would forever stand by him.  A is actually, regularly (and by "regularly" I mean "pre-wedding"), a very nice guy... which is why I've been SO astounded at his "wedding" behaviour - I would have NEVER expected that from him.  K is just one of those nice guys that he is a true friend.. though sometimes I feel he lends himself to getting walked all over.

Anyway, it seems everyone is in agreement that A is actling like an ass.. I'm just hoping that at some point very soon, he realizes his behavior and apologizes to K..

LarissaAnn

I'm jumping on the asshat bandwagon, which is kinda fun because I've never used that word before.

quotequeen

I think you should tell A that he's being an ass and needs to get over himself.

swim1011

I hope your friend re-evaluates his friendship with this guy.  Weddings are not a valid excuse for treating your close friends like crap, no matter whether you are the bride or the groom.

I would absolutely not give them cash.  A blender sounds perfect, in fact.  Without a gift receipt.