this is probably posted all the time..

kibo8

..but i didn't really see anything about it.

My best friend recently got engaged and is getting married in Feb. Yes, of 2010. I happen to be completely devastated about the wedding but i'm a bridesmaid and am kinda looking forward to that. I do want to me a good bridesmaid for her though, so what do I need to know? This is my first time. Should I be planning things at all, like the bacholorette party? If so, what are some ideas? She is pregnant so nothing too crazy I suppose.. : /

Well, thanks in advance for any feedback!

saisongbird

Your best friend is getting married.  You are devastated....why?

If you're not the MOH, ask the MOH if she wants your help planning the bachelorette.  It can be a simple as going out for dinner.  It can be as crazy as you want it to be.  There is no set formula for what makes a great bachelorette party - it's about what your friend likes to do and where she'll have a great time.

It's her wedding to plan - try to remember that!  Ask her about dresses, since you don't have a lot of time to get one, but just be there as a supportive friend for her.  That's the best thing you can do.

brimcleod

just offer to help out where ever needed. ask her how you can help with the planning.

SarahPLiz

First of all, it seems strange that you would be devastated about your best friend getting married. Would you care to elaborate on that?

Second, I'm sure that your friend would love to be given a shower and/or bachelorette party, but these are a gift and you should only do what you can afford to do. Talk to the other BMs/MOHs and see if they would also like to plan something, how much they can spend, etc.

Truthfully, your friend may be a bit stressed with the pregnancy and having the wedding so soon, so just be there for her as a friend.

kibo8

Thanks again!

Her sister is the MOH, only because she is her sister, not because they actually get along at all, so if anyone is going to act like a MOH it's going to be me. If that makes sense..

As for the million dollar question, my friend is only getting married because she is pregnant, the father is kind of a d-bag, and they've only been dating since September. I mean it's not my life so I shouldn't be so worried, but she is my best friend and I wish things would be going differently for her. But I am there for her no matter what.

We are going dress shopping Monday so i'll definitely offer to help with any planning. As simple as that is I didn't even think of it.

megk8oz

Why are you devastated?

Anyway, the only thing you're "obligated" to do is get the dress and show up wearing it.

If you have time to volunteer to help with things, then yay!

amalama

My sister recently planned her wedding in just a couple months too, and was also pregnant at the time. Because of the short time frame, there might not be time for a shower and a bachelorette. We manage to squeeze both in, but both were pretty small and casual. I would just ask her about open days and go from there. Talk to the other BM's and see when the most people could make it.

For her bachelorette we just went and got mani/pedis and then made dinner and hung out at my house. It was cheap and easy, but still fun and relaxing.

MyNameIsNot

Well, if you have legitimate concerns about things he's done, you may want to talk to her about it.  Only you can decide if that's a good idea, but personally, I value my friends for their honesty. 

As far as being a BM, all you really have to do is be a good friend, and do what you would normally do as a good friend.  If you feel like throwing a b-party or a shower, go for it.  If you want to offer to help with planning, go for it.  If all you have time for is to be her friend, that's cool.  If you don't have the time/budget to do a party on short notice (or just aren't in to that sort of thing), that's ok, too.  She asked you b/c you are a good friend and she wants to honor that relationship.

stina93446

If you want to plan parties for her like a B party or shower, call up the MOH and ask if one is already in the works. You can always chip in with ideas, money, decorations, food, games, etc.

As for other things, you should get the dress and offer to help if you want. 

kibo8

Mani/pedi's and dinner would be a great b-party idea. I'll definitely have to bring that up to the other 2 girls along with shower ideas. Thanks.

As for bringing it up to her, I don't know how honest I should really be. I've made it pretty clear that I think it's a horrible idea, but now i'm just faking it and playing nice. He's just kind of a jerk, controlling, refuses to get a job even with the wedding and baby on the way, I could go on and on..